Confidence needed to jobhunt plussize woman

rabb

Jay83 wrote: »

I am currently working in a very stressful underpaid job which i would like to leave for somewhere better but i dont have any confidence to go to job interviews. My cv looks great just i dont feel people would take me seriously as a good worker. I am a very large woman, size 24 clothes wise. Dont get me wrong i know i need to lose weight but i am really struggling to, i have to stay late most nights from work or other commitments so by the time i get home i just grab anything quick for dinner so not that healthy. i am miserable at work so i comfort eat. its a vicious cycle. Do you think being large will make employers think im lazy? because i am very hard working even if my appearance doesnt agree. Thanks for reading.

With the greatest respect darling you've outlined exactly all the reasons why you're fat and to post this thread you must be clearly unhappy about the situation. You know exactly what you need to do to lose what so start doing it, your confidence will gradually build and build as you lose the weight. I don't post this message as some Mr perfect at all. I'm just saying what the majority of people reading would also think. I've battled a gambling addiction for many years so I know how it can be hard to break out desructive behaviour. I lovely young kid at a pub near me diesd of a heart attack a couple of years back purely because of the weight he was carrying. What a waste!

The best of luck! xxxx

Emmzi

but fat =/= stupid or incompetent in a non physical role. And all the "lose weight now" posts suggest that she has no hope if she doesn't lose weight which

a) locks her into a stressful role for months
b) devalues her amazing brain and skills
c) makes the situation worse.

One thing at a time! Get into a better mental place by getting a better job, then tackle the next thing. Which might be losing weight, might be giving up dieting, might be learning a language, might be getting a divorce, who knows?

Not that people who haven't been there would neccessarily understand that fat =/= lazy or stupid, it is a bit more complicated than that.

Go for it OP, ignore all the "get skinny first" people, you are sad and stressed, you need a new job, and the world is full of people like me who will give you a break.

It's also full of the righteous body fascist diet brigade, so you may need to knock on a few extra doors, but a fab job is waiting for you, honest!

And PLEASE I beg you ignore the inevitable (been on this board too long) following posts which will be "oh so helpful" but subtley or not so subtley reinforce the bigoted poster's prejudice that fat = lazy = stupid. It isn't true, you know it isn't true, you know it is more complicated than that, you know you are a good person, you know you have a lot to offer. Just hit the ignore button at the ranters and bigots.

So go get a job that will make you happy! You are capable, and you deserve to be happy, just like everyone else.

rabb

luckily for her the two goals aren't mutually exclusive. She can do both simultaneously. Moreover, whereas in the one she is largely relying on luck and other people's hunches, in regards to the weight issue she is the main player and in control of every factor.

We are all in a weight control programme IMO.

I eat fast food a couple of times a week and drink Friday and Saturday, to rememdy this I go running at least 4 times a week and do weights.

A lady I know does very little exercise but her diet is startlingly healthy, as a consequence she has not an ounce of fat on her.

Twin brothers Billy & Bob drink 3 cans of coke each a day, have done since they were at school. Billy drinks diet coke though and is half a stone lighter than his brother.

I don't think anybody is being a "body fascist" on here. Just saying what this lady knows already. Also, who exactly is a bigot on this thread? I can't see one.

As for job hunting: Just apply, apply, apply and if your diet is sound 95% of the time you'll be confident that by the time interview day comes around you'll have lost yet another 2 pounds on top of what you've already lost!

ILW

Emmzi wrote: »

but fat =/= stupid or incompetent in a non physical role. And all the "lose weight now" posts suggest that she has no hope if she doesn't lose weight which

a) locks her into a stressful role for months
b) devalues her amazing brain and skills
c) makes the situation worse.

One thing at a time! Get into a better mental place by getting a better job, then tackle the next thing. Which might be losing weight, might be giving up dieting, might be learning a language, might be getting a divorce, who knows?

Not that people who haven't been there would neccessarily understand that fat =/= lazy or stupid, it is a bit more complicated than that.

Go for it OP, ignore all the "get skinny first" people, you are sad and stressed, you need a new job, and the world is full of people like me who will give you a break.

It's also full of the righteous body fascist diet brigade, so you may need to knock on a few extra doors, but a fab job is waiting for you, honest!

And PLEASE I beg you ignore the inevitable (been on this board too long) following posts which will be "oh so helpful" but subtley or not so subtley reinforce the bigoted poster's prejudice that fat = lazy = stupid. It isn't true, you know it isn't true, you know it is more complicated than that, you know you are a good person, you know you have a lot to offer. Just hit the ignore button at the ranters and bigots.

So go get a job that will make you happy! You are capable, and you deserve to be happy, just like everyone else.

The OP stated in her post that she was lacking in confidence due to her weight. Surely it would be the first thing to look at amongst others.

scheming_gypsy

ILW wrote: »

The OP stated in her post that she was lacking in confidence due to her weight. Surely it would be the first thing to look at amongst others.

that's why i said she needs to use each one as motivation for the other. Not being happy in her job is leading to comfort eating which so she'll struggle to lose weight when she's not happy at work.

WolfSong2000

I'm a size 22 and it's never impacted on me being able to get a job...people tend to focus on your skills, but I've also proven to be more than capable of manual labour when necessary. For example, my last job - which was in a dog boutigue in Washington DC (summer job, great fun) involved lifting 20kg+ bags of dog food and crates of cans up steep steps to the store when deliveries arrived. Yes, I'm not the fittest person around, but I was still quite capable of lifting 40kg at a time with no bother (the delivery guy loved me for it. lol)

If you don't make an issue of your weight, other people are much less likely to. Another example os a friend of my mother's who thinking about it is rather a large lady (around size 26), but when you're around her, you never notice her size. Instead, it's her pseronality and confidence that come across.

Anyhow, just some things to think about

WolfSong2000

oh - just wanted to add. Invest in some clothes/makeup/shoes/accessories and a hairstyle that make you feel fabulous. It's makes *such* a difference and doesn't have to cost the bank. I've bought some lovely quirky vintage dresses off ebay for next to nothing which often get me compliments, plus when I can I get my hair done at local college for next to nothing...takes longer, but well worth the drop in price and results are excellent

AfricanViolet

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