my son

Oldernotwiser

cazxx1 wrote: »

he don't drink or smoke and he is not into drugs, I buy all his clothes still he is not a typical teenager he is quite quiet.He dont go out much the only thing he is interested in is snooker and is in a team. I just cant understand him doing this. Yes it was him he admitted it but said he was going to pay it back... I think he has done this before cause I always look in my purse and thought I had more than that, I just thought it was me getting old im just at my wits end ...........

Why are you still buying his clothes for him? How much of his JSA does he give you towards his keep?

McKneff

Dont mean to be rude but I just have to say the following

Is he stupid enough to think you woundnt notice £20 missing

Does he think your stupid enough not to notice £20 missing.

choille

If he took 'only £20' off an elderly neighbour without them knowing he had done so - what would you think? Would you defend him because of the amount?

make_me_wise

Up till yesterday you didn't know your own son would steal from you. How can you be so sure he has no drink or drugs problem? Another thing to consider is could he be gambling?

Have it out with him. Stealing from you is bad enough. If he is doing it to fund a habit you may well be unaware of, then who may he steal from next, now you are on your guard.

How much do any of our parents really know about us once we hit 18, there are things I got up to at that age that my folks have no idea about. Stuff that would have made their hair stand on end. Its all about growing up and leading seperate independant lives, can be positive or negative dependant on what you do.

Sammy85_2

He is 18. Not a child.

Get the £20 back from him tomorrow and then sit down and discuss where you go from here. Stealing any amount of money is unaccepable. What if you hadnt caught him. How much would it be next time? When would he decide to stop, when he'd taken £100's from you bit by bit?

He may not be working but he is getting JSA, therefore he should be paying you board at a rate appropriate to what his income is. Yes, it wont cover half of what he eats or uses in electricity but it will teach him that he has responsibilities. He is old enough to pay his way.

STOP paying for his clothes etc. Why on earth would be bother getting a job? His mum buys all his clothes and the state gives him his spends.

paddy's_mum

If he 'only' has £60 a week, then I assume he is 'earning' his keep in other ways, such as taking out the bins, prepping a meal, sweeping the driveway, swamping out the dog beds ... you get my drift, I'm sure.

Isn't it amazing that these young adults vehemently claim all the privileges of adulthood but forget to adopt the obligations that go with it!

MarilynMonroe_2

Oh dear, not good but hopefully that was the first time he's done it and will be the last ... is he a nice lad usually?

I would ask him what it was for and why he felt he had to just take it and why he couldnt ask for a borrow.
then hide your purse from now on. xx

rachelhen

I would desist from making any sweeping judgement yes it is serious but may be a one off temporary aberration he is only 18.
mother and son will sort it out.
my kids would never have done that but would 'borrow' clothes handbags etc borrow and not pay back... they are all well adjusted and working and self sufficient now.

claire16c

make_me_wise wrote: »

Up till yesterday you didn't know your own son would steal from you. How can you be so sure he has no drink or drugs problem? Another thing to consider is could he be gambling?

Have it out with him. Stealing from you is bad enough. If he is doing it to fund a habit you may well be unaware of, then who may he steal from next, now you are on your guard.

How much do any of our parents really know about us once we hit 18, there are things I got up to at that age that my folks have no idea about. Stuff that would have made their hair stand on end. Its all about growing up and leading seperate independant lives, can be positive or negative dependant on what you do.

I agree. There are plenty of things I did my parents wouldnt have known about.

However, the one thing I would never ever ever ever have done was steal money from them. I think once I took a £1 coin from a coin jar my Dad had because I was in a rush and needed it for something, cant remember what now, and I literally felt sick until I replaced it!

Im not sure that getting incredibly angry with him would be the best approach, sometimes I think that showing how upset and disappointed you are works better. But, still being firm and letting him know he was totally out of order. And find out exactly why he needed that money so badly.

Bogof_Babe

What was he using for money while at college? Did you give him pocket money, which he thinks he should still be getting from you?

JSA for under-25's is £53.45 a week, according to DirectGov website. He should give you £25 and use the rest to buy his own clothes and pay for his other expenses. Otherwise he'll never appreciate the value of money.