Loan to (now) ex boyfriend

NeverEnough

Kate - I don't think anyone blames you, or at least, the non-judgemental people on here won't. Emotional blackmail is a difficult issue for anyone to handle. I just hope for your sake he continues to make payments till the loan is finished - if he tries to saddle you with the repayments and reneges on the deal, perhaps you can then rethink who to contact in the family, but for now at least, it seems best to let him keep paying it and have as little contact as possible over this. Tixy is right about the financial disassociation as well.

DCFC79

Just hope he keeps on paying you, how many years are left

tell_it_how_it_is

NeverEnough wrote: »

... if he tries to saddle you with the repayments and reneges on the deal, perhaps you can then rethink who to contact in the family, but for now at least, it seems best to let him keep paying it and have as little contact as possible over this.

I can fully appreciate why you want to draw a line under all this, but judging by what you tell us about your ex's history, I think this is cracking and sensible advice.

The only thing you might conceivably want to try and slip in for now is to ask him if he can possibly increase his monthly payments to you a little, to perhaps allow you to overpay and get rid of it a bit quicker.

Good luck, and hope you find a right 'un next time!

DCFC79 wrote: »

Just hope he keeps on paying you, how many years are left

The OP has already posted that it is a 5 year loan with 3 years remaining.

Kate83_2

Thanks everyone. Luckily we had no accounts etc in joint name. I own my property on my own and he never changed any of his paperwork over to link it to my place, so the only thing that ties us is the loan. You're right in saying not to aggravate the situation by demanding the money, I just hate having that link to him. I'll leave it be and just try and forget it's there and fingers crossed he'll keep paying!

terryw

I think that you have come to the right decision Kate.

bw

oldhand

Kate83 wrote: »

Thanks everyone. Luckily we had no accounts etc in joint name. I own my property on my own and he never changed any of his paperwork over to link it to my place, so the only thing that ties us is the loan. You're right in saying not to aggravate the situation by demanding the money, I just hate having that link to him. I'll leave it be and just try and forget it's there and fingers crossed he'll keep paying!

And in his defence kate he HAS been paying back the loan for a couple of years which considering he is a gambler is pretty good so as others have said you may be best letting him keep on with it.

sneaky

I know it must be frustrating but as most have said don't rock the boat the best way to play this is tactful. The priority should be for him to keep paying you each month if that's the best he can do. If he starts to miss payments on a regular basis then you will have no option but go to his family as legally there's nothing else you can do.

SammyFace

Would a compromise be a possibility? Could he increase his Direct Debit to clear the debt more quickly?

DCFC79

[QUOTE=tell_it_how_it_is;48158791

The OP has already posted that it is a 5 year loan with 3 years remaining.[/QUOTE]

relax, i didnt see it, not the end of the world

jollyme

I would suggest getting the current arrangement in writing between OP and ex. Even if it's an email conversation or something that can be used as evidence of the arrangement. This way if things get really messy and ex stops the payments there might be a possibility of court action to recover the outstanding amount . I know this might seem like overkill - but the outstanding period of repatyments is long. Protect yourself