I desperately need some help on how to rent a property

HappySaver1968

Hello,

First of all, let me apologise because this is quite a long post. I want you to know though that I REALLY appreciate your help. I'm lucky to have found this community. Anyway, here goes...

I recently split from my wife and took it very badly, tried to commit suicide after she stopped me from seeing my children and made some very serious allegations that were completely untrue. I then had a spell in hospital as an in-patient due to the stress of everything getting too much for me but I was recently released and don't have a fixed address anymore because I'm not welcome in what was the family home. I don't want to cause problems for my children and my wife and I have agreed that I will find somewhere else to live, which is probably for the best really.

I'm OK now and trying to build my life back together again, lost my job, lost my car, lost most of my savings as my wife emptied our bank accounts and I desperately, desperately need to find a rental of some sort because I can't stay with my mate forever. I've been sleeping on his couch since I left hospital and it's not ideal because I'm working with the Community Psychiatric Nurse, Doctor and other professionals who're trying their best to help me but do admit things would be better if I had my own place and my lawyer tells me the same thing as it will help for access to my kids. The CPN tells me I'm not priority for housing as a single man without dependants and that I'm "unlikely" to get housed by my council but that private lets should be a viable option.

Unfortunately... I'm not having much luck and quickly running out of options as my friend has hinted that his girlfriend is getting tired of me being there. I've been medically signed off as unfit for work and placed on ESA in the Support Group and I'm on the Care Programme Approach too. I've searched everywhere I can think of to find a property and all of them say "no DSS" or when I ask they tell me they can't accept me because I'm not in work just now and even though I've worked all my life, done what's right and never been on benefits before, I now find that because I'm down on my luck? nobody seems to want to know me now and it's so, so disheartening to say the least. Is there ANYWAY I can find a good, decent home whilst on benefits? I can offer guarantors, an extra deposit, a few months rent up front (which I'll have to borrow from a mate) and my word that I'm a respectable person because I just want to do what's right, see my kids, find another job and move on from the past.

I've tried every letting agent here and most of them seem to look down on people on benefits. I understand that a few might give the silent majority a bad name but surely they should at least give me a chance? I'm in my 40s and not someone who's up to no good. I have children and just want to live a quiet life and try to move forward with the help being offered to me. I want to find a job again and provide for my children but that just seems impossible right now because I can't even find a home. I'm really sorry to have written all this but it's good to get it off my chest. I hope someone can offer some solid advice because I really need it and want to say thanks for everything. I feel so frustrated because you seem to need an employment reference to find a private let and because I don't have that? the whole idea of finding a home is beyond my reach, seems like I'll never move forward at this rate.

John.

mummyyum

Hi John,

I am currently privately renting and am not employed nor was I when I started the rental. I went to the agent when I saw a flat I liked and said I would pay 6 months up front and it wasn't a problem. If I was you I would just do the same thing, as you said you had several months rent available. Then once you are in your flat find any job you can just to keep you going. Be a good tenant and once the six months is up even if you have to claim housing benefit they may well keep you on. Try not to worry too much. Be positive, it will work out.

Emmzi

if you own rather than rent the family home you are entitled to live in it and if there is no threat of violence you may be better there until you find a room somewhere.

Try renting a room instead of a flat as a starter to get you off the couch and as a base while you look.

Try asking Shelter for help.

missile

Hi,

Sorry to hear you plight.

You are unlikely to be accepted by a private LL. You might be better trying to find lodgings? Many people welcome a lodger to share their bills. Look in Gumtree etc and advertise in local paper.

Brb

I'm sorry to hear of your heartache.

If you are under 35 new rules coming in 2012 would see you only qualify for shared accomodation so possibly best to lodge for a while until you've got yourself up and running again.

http://www.spareroom.co.uk

Caveat_Mortgagor

HappySaver1968 wrote: »

Hello,



I'm OK now and trying to build my life back together again, lost my job, lost my car, lost most of my savings as my wife emptied our bank accounts
John.

This is where you might get yourself turned around. How much are we talking about? Was it just a small amount thats been spent alrerady paying the bills whilst missing your income, or is she hoarding an amount somewhere.

Sounds like your wife has kept everything and you have no base to re-build your life.

I realise that talking about money may lead to conflict between the pair of you, but is there enough money to get you back on your feet and do you think you could have this conversation without conflict?

Badger_Lady

Yeah... a room in a shared house is clearly NOT ideal for you because you need to sort yourself out and be in a strong position to apply for access to the children. However it is a stepping stone - it would get you out of the pressured situation of being an unwanted guest and it would help you to re-establish your independence.

Depending where you live, you can get short-term room rentals using DSS from private (live-in) landlords.

dancingfairy

I would phone Shelter and see what your options are. I'm not sure whether you would qualify as homeless or not but they would know. Obviously if you can't return to your previous home then you are homeless but Shelter are the experts.
Best of Luck getting it sorted.
df

19lottie82

Hi John - Sorry to hear about your circumstances. Surely it would be worth registering for social housing, I imagine as you are technically homeless it would give you soem sort of priority?

Good luck. try not to worry, you'll get there in the end! x

hazyjo

Sorry to hear about all you've been through recently.

Just wanted to add that it's not always LLs being prejudiced against people on benefits, etc, it's that their insurance or whatever (mortgage maybe?) won't actually permit them to let to people on benefits. It would invalidate some insurance policies.

Wishing you all the luck in the world. Hope you get yourself back on your feet soon.

Jx

HappySaver1968

Caveat_Mortgagor wrote: »

This is where you might get yourself turned around. How much are we talking about? Was it just a small amount thats been spent alrerady paying the bills whilst missing your income, or is she hoarding an amount somewhere.

Sounds like your wife has kept everything and you have no base to re-build your life.

I realise that talking about money may lead to conflict between the pair of you, but is there enough money to get you back on your feet and do you think you could have this conversation without conflict?

Thanks everyone for your help.

To the person that asked, my wife and I had around £500 or so in our joint account and another £2,500 or so in savings which I imagine she's hoarding somewhere because I always paid the bills - standing orders/direct debts such as the mortgage/gas/electricity from my current account and she bought the food and other household basics with the money from hers. We both worked with me working full-time earning a good wage and her part-time earning not so much. My kids are 11 and 7 and I just want to do what's right by them both. I had a look on the room websites but they all want you to register or give out personal information and I don't want to cause problems for my mate by using his address to have things posted there as I'm already walking on eggshells. Do you know of any way I can apply for rooms in person, as opposed to doing it online? it would probably be a great deal easier for me.

Our joint account was something we opened when we first got married and it slowly fell out of use but I do recall there was around £500 or so in there when I last checked and it's now gone, along with the savings. Apparently the bank can't do anything about this and it's up to me to sort it out with my wife but every time I've approached her about it she just becomes aggressive and won't tell me anything, she says I'd rather see my kids go without and starve which isn't true at all. I literally left hospital with the clothes on my back and got a payment from the Social Work people and Jobcentre to buy some basics because I wasn't on benefits at the time and had never claimed before. I forgot to mention that our mortgage isn't very expensive because I put down a very large deposit when I bought the house, had a good job at the time and I miss it now that I can't provide for my children anymore.

I'm now sleeping on my mates couch but I don't think this will last for much longer and my wife has done a good job in turning everybody against me. A lot of my mates don't want to get involved because it causes problems between them and their own wives who're all very friendly with mine. I'm going to try and discuss this with my CPN because she's due to visit tomorrow afternoon, definitely something I'll have to get sorted, sooner rather than later. I'm so close to giving up and yet I know I need to keep fighting for my children. It was very wrong what my wife did to me and I don't care what she can do or did do to me because I can get through it but it's what all of this might do to my kids that worries me the most. I never thought this would happen to me. I had everything, now I have nothing.

John.