Can an employer ask this?

RobertoMoir

Jarndyce wrote: »

With respect it doesn't matter what his intention was, how old he is, or whether it was an interview, performance review or chat in the corridor. The comment was unwelcome and created an uncomfortable environment therefore it is sexual harassment, whichever way you want to look at it.

Stop making excuses for the man!

Assuming you meant me, I'm NOT making excuses for the guy. I said clearly that I thought their comment was inappropriate, clumsy and disturbing.

Now do you want to climb down off your soapbox, stop putting words in other peoples mouths and discuss things like an adult?

LadyMissA

Jarndyce wrote: »

With respect it doesn't matter what his intention was, how old he is, or whether it was an interview, performance review or chat in the corridor. The comment was unwelcome and created an uncomfortable environment therefore it is sexual harassment, whichever way you want to look at it.

Stop making excuses for the man!

an old boss made a comment to me once in a team meeting that it may be 'my age' (meaning it was the menopause at 37 years old) as to why I was hot in the office when there was no air con on. Totally the wrong thing to say like this now unless the OP was taking time off that hindered her performance.

bobajob_1966

Jarndyce wrote: »

This is sexual harassment. The question was related to yoiur sex, was unwelcome, and it made you feel intimidated and humiliated.

If you want to do anything about it, you will need to submit a grievance.
You could then apply to an employment tribunal also.

I make no comment about the advisability of either course of action, although no doubt others will have views.

It is suggestions like this that give women in business a bad reputation. Yes, the question was unsuitable, but did it really do any harm? If every woman shouted 'harassment' at the slightest comment tribunals would be swamped with actions, and employers would do everything they can to avoid recruiting us.

OP, laugh it off. Older men in particular have no idea of how to approach these issues, and I would guess that he was more embarrassed than you!

MatyMoo

Many moons ago I worked with a lady who had a personality change for 2 weeks a month and was hell to work with and an absolute delight the other 2 weeks.

The issue had to be raised with her as it was affecting the whole team, she would be rude and snappy to us and customers, and it was definitely cyclical. It is difficult to point this out without being a bit clumsy or personal and my boss (male) thought it would be better coming from a colleague (female & me).

It took me a while (months) of gentle hints to get her to see how she was acting and the effect it had on others and for us to be able to talk about it in depth and talk about possible solutions. She did eventually go to the Dr's for help and life became bearable after a while and she was definitely less scratchy but not perfect.

What I am trying to say is if it is an issue that affects your work it has to be raised to make sure that you are aware of it and so that you can try to do something about it.

Or maybe any of the other alternatives you have been given......

shoppingnoodles

Avocado wrote: »

My standard reaction to things like this is "what sort of a question is that?"! It puts the onus on the asker to either justify it or go without an answer. Too late now of course though.

I don't know the law but it's definately not appropriate and definately creepy, gross and wrong. It could be his age, in the 1970's he was in his 20's, it's not impossible his default attitude is chauvenist-pig and therefore he sees no wrongdoing in it.

He'll be asking you if you shag on weeknights next.

Thank you so much for giving me a good laugh!
In answer to the questions, this came up at a performance review. I am only 2 weeks off my 1st year with this employer and he has recently let a number of people employed for under a year go, as business is down. I am their top performer, but his question came as he said that my performance was not always consistent.

I responded to his question by telling him that I felt it was a highly inappropriate thing to ask and that I had no intention of discussing this with him.

We live in very strange times or employment, methinks.

FOX_HOUND

If somebody said that to my Mrs I'd be around to have a "talk." Job or no job.

bobajob_1966

FOX_HOUND wrote: »

If somebody said that to my Mrs I'd be around to have a "talk." Job or no job.

So reinforcing the employers view of the incapable woman!

shoppingnoodles

FOX_HOUND wrote: »

If somebody said that to my Mrs I'd be around to have a "talk." Job or no job.

And your Mrs sounds like a lucky lady to have your support. Thank you for your comment, it made me smile too.

Uncertain

shoppingnoodles wrote: »

...... but his question came as he said that my performance was not always consistent.

I responded to his question by telling him that I felt it was a highly inappropriate thing to ask and that I had no intention of discussing this with him.

So,

Is you performance "not always consistent"?

If that is the case, does this follow a repeating pattern?

and, if so

Is it at least partly the reason?


Suppose somebody else was always below par on a Monday. It is known that they engage is some very demanding recreational activity every weekend. Is it not reasonable for the firm to draw the shortcomings to their attention and suggest a possible reason?

What is different?

laurz

i think i would have said - no but hows your prostate!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in all honesty i think i'd have answered but enquired as to why the question was asked