HELP! Family in crisis :-(

bestpud

As said, you should be claiming child tax credit and child benefit.

If not, get a claim in ASAP as it could be a long process to get them if the mother decides to be difficult!

I would also contact the CSA and force the mother to pay up. It will only be a small sum but it all helps! £5 a week is over £250 a year and that could cover school uniforms or trips, for example.

I would think you'd receive some housing benefit (or LHA for a private rent) and council tax benefit. Again, get a claim in ASAP as they will backdate to the date they receive the application.

Lastly, check out the Debt Free Wannabe board for debt and budgeting advice and the Old Style board for help with household budgeting.

Can you reduce the price of the bus?

MoreOn

bestpud wrote: »

As said, you should be claiming child tax credit and child benefit.

If not, get a claim in ASAP as it could be a long process to get them if the mother decides to be difficult!

I would also contact the CSA and force the mother to pay up. It will only be a small sum but it all helps! £5 a week is over £250 a year and that could cover school uniforms or trips, for example.

I would think you'd receive some housing benefit (or LHA for a private rent) and council tax benefit. Again, get a claim in ASAP as they will backdate to the date they receive the application.

Lastly, check out the Debt Free Wannabe board for debt and budgeting advice and the Old Style board for help with household budgeting.

Can you reduce the price of the bus?

You need to get/reduce these for such a low income

£192 loan (18 months left)
£78 motorbike loan (10 months left)
£100 voluntary paying back of £1600 credit card debt (on a 0% card!)
£116 gas and electric (£148 outstanding from split time)
£192 water (every three months)
£50 car insurance
£25 mobile phone (me)
£30 mobile phone (fiance)
£15 mobile broadband

And most importantly just OH out to get a job it doesn't matter what it is..

arttochoke

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Fiver29

If your income has dropped so much, you might find yourself eligible for tax credits now. It's worth ringing them and asking.

Fiver29

I think that's a bit harsh Bestpud. It's the parent's job not to let the kids down, not any partners. Especially when a partner has gone into the relationship with a NRP only to find themselves thrown into being a PWC'sP and funding the whole arrangement.

Like it or not, some people do not feel the same about children as others.

whitewing

You do not need to move out. You can get through this together. You need to be together to support each other. You can do it. Don't move out without speaking to tax credits first. You need each other and the children need you both. You've all had a rough old year but you're putting down those foundations for being a great family, it's a bit tough at the moment, but you'll get that lucky break soon.

bestpud

Fiver29 wrote: »

I think that's a bit harsh Bestpud. It's the parent's job not to let the kids down, not any partners. Especially when a partner has gone into the relationship with a NRP only to find themselves thrown into being a PWC'sP and funding the whole arrangement.

Like it or not, some people do not feel the same about children as others.

Maybe so, but they need to stop faffing about and either stick it out or part for good.

This splitting up every time the going gets tough isn't going to help any of them.

I would say the same if there was no children involved tbh.

zagfles

arttochoke wrote: »

Thanks everyone, we were doing ok, making it through the month (just) when he was working and he was earning about 25k. So all of a sudden we go from 40k a year down to 15.5 :-(

We have tried to sell the bus for the last year but no one is interested, even for £4k (we paid £6.6 for her).. and as its not stored on our land, we could not rent her do we will have to keep hoping.

I cannot sell my motorbike as it is my only mode of transport. I don't drive and the bus is £40 a week, when my bike costs £7 a week in petrol! I'd certainly be worse off without it as even with the loan on it it's cheaper than a bus per month.

We already receive child benefit. The mother did try and keep claiming but as soon as they had moved to be with us I put a stop to that. She is unemployed so cannot pay anything. I am nagging my bf to harass her but this just causes more arguments as she has mental health issues (she claims) and so is very unpredictable in her response to things. I think I may take it upon myself to start a CSA claim but I'd rather my bf talked to her properly first, but I'm getting so frustrated that he isn't! I don't want to cause more tension by going to her direct as she will kick off toward my bf :-/

I am so frustrated because I feel like I've covered most of what you guys have hilighted except for the benefits as I have no experience of these. We had a lot more vehicles and junk that we have gotten rid of so I do feel proud about that. However, I am very very bitter that it now appears to fall on me to look after 3 other people when I don't feel strong enough to.

I went to see a lady about a room in her house today and it seemed really good at £350 all in, bills etc included. It would help me a lot to do that, as I'd have a lot left from my wage packet each month to pay off my credit card debt that I am determined to tackle. I have tried to do some calculations with regards to tax credits and housing benefit etc online at turn2us this afternoon and it appears that we would both be better off apart :-( I think the main issue for me is that I just don't want the pressure of being the sole earner knowing full well that I am not even making enough to cover most of the outgoings!

With regards to the bus, she is worth £4k in scrap, so we are going to give it another month or so and then take her apart and weigh her in. We know we can't be precious.

Basically I just want the guilt and arguments to stop. My bf is telling me to go as he doesn't like seeing me so upset but I feel even worse thinking about going because it's like I'm abandoning him when he really needs me! He is going to talk to the benefits office tomorrow and I guess we'll know more tomorrow. Sigh..

I really appreciate all your replies, thanks.

Are you getting tax credits now? Are they paying you based on your income now or last year? If it's last year you can phone them and give them an estimate of this year's income and you'll get a lot more. On £15-16k you'd get full CTC (about £109 per week) and some WTC as well. But you need to estimate income over the tax year so if your OH was working after April you'd need to inclue what he earned this tax year in your calculation.

arttochoke

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whitewing

I think bestpud is right but could have worded it a lot better.

I struggle sometimes exactly as you do, and they are my children! Your worries and concerns are normal family worries and concerns and you can get through it exactly as normal families do, by trying hard, not giving up and still finding time to enjoy each and every one of them. Don't give up. You can do this.