In need of advice but its complicated

Mummytothree

Okay here I go.

I am a young(ish) lady with children 9, 6 and 3 and am disabled. I receive HRM and MRC. My 9 yo DS is autistic and requires lots of extra care. He gets MRC and LRM. My husband has struggled to come to terms with my disability since my accident 3 years ago and we have since grown apart.

We decided about 6 months ago to separate but as he is my main carer and carer for my son we didnt change anything financially.

However my husband is now in a new relationship and things seem to be moving on. I feel that I cant ask him for money for things anymore and need to think about the future for kids and I.

I dont how to go about looking at any kind of help or benefits as he is still staying in the house which we have a joint mortgage for. He sleeps over at his partners house sometimes if my sister is able to come and stay here to help me.

Any Help would be most appreciated.

Mummy
x

karenx

So you both still stay in the same house and share the finances? It will be hard to prove you are not still together. He needs to move out, you need to make single claims for everything and get maintenance from him for the children.

Mummytothree

Thanks for the reply.

I only wish it was that simple.

Due to my disablity I have to take lots of medication and have to take sleeping tablets which I cant take if I am on my own with the kids. I tried not taking them before and my illness suffered so badly I ended up in hospital for a week.

Also my son has major issues and doesnt adapt well to any changes and hates new people. He is a very poor sleeper and his Dad sleeps in his room.

I am limited with everything and cant cook meals. I struggle and think it has got to the point that I am going to have to look at getting a carer/ cleaner in. But it will have to be when my son is at school as he will freak otherwise.

I cant take the kids out by myself as struggle with the wheelchair and kids so he will take us out for the day. My kids are aware that Daddy has a new partner and my daughters have met him!! *yes I did say HIM. My son has spoken to him on the phone but isnt ready to meet him yet.

Why is life so complicated????
x

jojo_2012_2

Maybe you should move somewhere closer to your sister. Let him stay in the house with the kids, and apply for a carer to look after you. He won't be willing to do it forever I imagine. You'd be entitled to all kinds of benefits.

bestpud

What would you both like to happen?

Do you want to live in the same house and he continue to receive carers allowance while you receive other benefits as a lone parent?

And his new partner is happy with that? I can't imagine he will be for long...?

What you seem to be saying is you can't look after yourself or your children without a live in carer?

Would it be easier for you to move out and the children stay with your husband? He seems to be the main carer so that would be easiest for your son at least?

midnight_express

You will be seen as a couple for benefit purposes.

bestpud

jojo_2012 wrote: »

Maybe you should move somewhere closer to your sister. Let him stay in the house with the kids, and apply for a carer to look after you. He won't be willing to do it forever I imagine. You'd be entitled to all kinds of benefits.

Oops only just read your post! Seems we're on the same wavelength!