Advice needed for new life

ceridwen

wmf wrote: »

ps why not join the Grocery Challenge for a start? maybe start reading the Daily and Tough Times, get to know peeps and pick up some tips?

My own feeling there would be that I imagine the Daily Thread would probably not feel quite what you are looking for.

The Tough Times thread certainly would be a good one for you to read - its been running (in various installments) since 2006. The current installment is "Things are getting tougher" and its at:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3556319

Also agree that you would probably find the Grocery Challenge interesting.

************************

I think you would find a thread that got moved over to the "How much have you saved?" Board interesting as well.

Link to first installment of Frugaldom's "Living on £4,000 a year Challenge":

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/640131

and I suggest you follow the various installments of that through up until some time in 2010. After that - the nature of it has changed to a large extent - but you will certainly find a lot of helpful ideas prior to that. Obviously, for instance, £4,000 isnt worth as much as it was in 2006. Frugaldom herself has recently bought a fixer-upper house in remote part of Scotland, with a LARGE garden attached and still being very self-sufficient and still living on £4,000 a year.

monnagran

Like Ches I am retired and on a ridiculously tight budget so am not in your situation at all. However, I've spent years bringing up a family on very little and living simply is certainly the answer. It is more rewarding as well, you will be surprised how good you feel. My top tip is, when about to buy anything unplanned ask yourself two questions. 'Do I need it', and 'Can I live without it.' It sounds like the same thing but it is too easy to convince yourself that you need something when you actually just want it.
I have the following quotation stuck up on mirrors and walls.
"The chief cause of unhappiness is giving up what you want most for what you want at the moment."
There is plenty of help on these forums. Enjoy your new life and Good Luck.

rachbc

If you read all the main threads I'm sure you can decide for yourself what you find most useful. Tough threads vary from doom mongering predictions to talk of thongs with some handy tips thrown in so plenty for everyone! Daily threads are a great glimpse into the day of people living the 'new life' so whilst they may not be direct tips will be very insightful. Both are very friendly.

I'm interest in why you say you can't downsize completely....primark are great for pjs socks and basic t's which I mix with to maxx finds and good brands from charity shops. Perhaps giving away clothes was a little shortsighted as it will cost to replace them

valerie57

Great tip from Suzybloo about having a notebook ready when you read the forums. How I wish I had done that when I started. There is so much information here I know that you will find the answers you need to help you get the best value for every £ you spend. The lightbulb moment for me was recognising the difference between wanting something and needing it. Try the GC and be realistic and kind to yourself. Old patterns won't change overnight.

MuchAdo_2

Hi ExCityGirl,

What an exciting time for you!

I left a well-paid job in Govt Affairs in Brussels, to return to the UK & work for myself. My work-life balance is still a bit skewed , but getting there slowly!

The biggest thing for me was a total shift in my mindset, once I'd left the high-pressure, corporate environment of the city. I know it's not quite the same for you, but it took a long while to get used to.

In terms of being frugal, reducing food costs & money spent on 'stuff' made the biggest difference - takeaways, cups of coffee, magazines, expensive cosmetics, new clothes just because I fancied them, expensive nights out etc.

As others have said, meal planning & cooking from scratch helps a lot, have found I love baking (so stress-busting!) and my slow cooker has been really useful. I make double of our evening meals & freeze, so we always have tasty stuff in the freezer to avoid takeaway temptation. I switched to non-premium brand cosmetics, and now make my own & my skin is so much better for it.

We have friends over now, instead of going out, which has also made a big difference to our spending. Still probably spend too much on wine though!

I hope it all goes well for you - such a huge lifestyle change isn't ever easy, but has certainly been a massive change for the better for us

abaxas

ExCityGirl wrote: »

Hi,


What advice would you give to people like me?

:heart2:

Find what makes you happy and do that! Lots of people assume that money is happiness, hence they believe they can buy whatever they want.

Remember that time=money so start valuing your own time and realize that something you do yourself is always worth more than something you pay someone for. Also, you cannot buy the love and attention to detail you are willing to put in yourself.

In terms of frugality, it does not mean 'tightness', often it means the final product is better than having spent more. There is no direct correlation between quality and price. Once you understand that, you can start looking at the wonderful concept of 'value'. A good example of this is what is better, shin beef or fillet steak? Answer is, the one that works best in what you make.

Remember that having less spawns creativity in what you do have. As in the quote 'you can buy fashion but you cant buy style'.

Brain dump off!

HelenYorkshire

Hi

I'd say - don't panic! You don't have to be handknitting a yurt whilst stewing your homegrown cow...yet
Have a look around - what bugs you most? Pick one thing to work on - so maybe you'd like to learn to cook all sorts so you can pick up whatever looks nice in the shops that day. E.g. the neck end of lamb looks good but what do you do with it?? Knowledge is freedom. You don't need to splash out on steak if you can make a killer hotpot.
Do you fancy turning your hand to growing veg and things? If so, read around "smallholder" and "downsizer" sites and forums; but remember that basically a seed *wants* to grow, so you just need to allow it. And these experiments and lessons pan out over years, not weeks - took me a while to recognise that and it saves a ot of frustration!

In terms of "pure" money saving - do the usual looking at bills, incomings, outgoings. My brain is wired a bit oddly - so instead of tracking every penny I work better by "trying not to spend anything". If I see that I've money in the account then I get itchy fingers and tend to waste it :O

Once you've got some ideas, try them out - you can always change your mind. Think about your trade offs. For example, the last time I owned a washer/drier I never wanted to use the tumble drier because it's expensive and I'll go to eco-hell This winter, it "clicked" that if I use the tumble drier I will have clean, dry clothes quickly, and a dry house - allowing me to leave the heating off. If I tried to dry things without the drier, I would spend three days with damp clothes, in a damp house, with the heating on full blast. Having a quick laundry turnaround also means I have fewer clothes to replace!! Mind you, any clear windy days will still see my washing on the line.

Oh - and find out where your partner stands on these things!

Going4TheDream

ExCityGirl wrote: »

Hi,

I decided to register on this forum as I find it interesting and people very intriguing. I think you guys can teach me something which I really need to know...(if you bother of course ).

My story is very short: I was working in a city, making loads of £££ but I was not enjoying my life due to long working hours and back stubbing culture. My relationships with people outside work including my partner started to crumble and I became very irritable. So I decided to quit. I was lucky to find another job in a big company with a particular emphasis with work-life balance. So now not only I will have more meaningful job but will have some time to spend with my family and partner. However this choice came with a cost - pay cut. I figured that I am young and still can have a decent career and earnings by the time I reach 30 so quitting city is a risk but not a huge risk from my side.

I need your help / advice in regards to spending )). I can't fully downsize everything and switch to primark / topshop but I am sure there are some ways to live decently but frugally.

Oh forgot to mention that I have around a month to think about life and values before joining new team. So I read this little book called "Orchids on your budget" by Marjorie Hillis and was amazed by her approach to life. It was a great book but a bit dated.

Where do I start living frugally? I already downsized on a flat rent, cancelled my gym membership (company I am joining has one on-site) and gave away half of my clothes to charity. What else can I do? I do not want to just temporarily save money, I want to change my lifestyle altogether hence posting here...

What advice would you give to people like me?

Thx for reading!
ExCityGirl
:heart2:

Welcome ExCityGirl, you are in the right place and this site has a wealth of good articles and lots of helpful friendly people with great tips.

I too downsized my life, but my choice was not my own but through redundancy after 11 years. I was tired of the rat race but probably wouldn't have made the decision to have willingly left.

So well done for making that conscious decision! However, being forced into the situation gave me a bit of time to consider making a conscious change. I finally concluded that I wanted to work closer to home, be home every night (I did a lot of travelling in my previous role) take and have less responsibility etc. Like you that came with a pay cut, 35% in my case. I now needed to manage that!

For me being more frugal isn't about accepting 2nd best or going without it is about getting the best you can for you money and making it work for you. There will be things that you wish to keep at the same level of spending that you had before , that is fine but something else will likely have to give in order to achieve that. Downsizing is very personal, people have different reasons for downsizing and adopting a more frugal lifestyle , we all place different values on things and what works for one may not work for another.

What worked for me

Doing an honest and full budget. Income and outgoings. Include EVERYTHING.. seeing in black and white how much things really cost and where your money goes is quite an eye opener. Check out the budget planner on this site, I found it excellent

Ensuring that every bill was on the best tariff, and down grading/upgrading and getting rid of anything that wasn't really used to its full potential. I got rid of Sky, I really didn't use it and really don't miss it! I did however upgrade my broadband as I had noticed that for a few months regularly I had gone over my down load limit and it cost more than having a bigger package. Again using the budget planner and checking the articles in each section was a big help.

I set a grocery budget. I used to wander aimlessly round the supermarket, no list and bought what I fancied then threw a lot away at the end of the week. I now meal plan, do a big shop monthly and go weekly to get a few fresh bits. This was an area where I really saved, and I didn't compromise on quality ie still buy good meat at the butcher but I eat 2 vegetarian meals a week to compromise, make use of left overs and now a chicken last two meals rather than one big meal for me and OH and a big feast for the doggies! I make and take lunch to work rather than buying it out. See the shopping guide, how to find bargains, and how to make good meals more cheaply, reading the forums.

I set up 2 further bank accounts - keeping personal money separate from bills and one to save for big annual expenses holidays/ car insurance / Christmas etc. I automate payments each month to cover everything including savings. For me this works as personal money then becomes personal and disposable. Check out getting the best interest/deals on savings, getting the best bank accounts for your needs, avoiding paying for value added accounts if you dont need them.

My personal disposable income is very small as I do choose to save, and as I have budgeted for everything else I don't really need much. I use for the odd trip to the cinema, the odd meal out. I find also that having budgeted I have many no spend days at all. I always check charity shops when I am out for good quality clothes, I recently bought a lovely Karen Millen designer coat for £25, £10 to dry clean and its stunning. I would never had paid £370 for it even before I downsized!

Sorry this is a long post but I wanted to share how this was for me as when you start it can be daunting. This was my basic framework, and for me it was a good place to start, it took time to get it all up and running and but it was time well spent. Having a plan to work to is a good thing!

I still review things, and am learning things to make my money go further but I am not obsessive about it. Overall I can say 2 years down the line I have a better quality of life. I am not stressed at work, my work life balance is great. I actually have time to garden which I love and grow much of my own veg and soft fruit and freeze loads, saving me money. I still enjoy a nice home, I still eat out occasionally , probably at much better restaurants than before as I don't do it often, I take an annual holiday abroad, I go for two weekends away a year and I drive a new car that I bought and paid for outright. I am much more conscious though about how I spend. I don't sit around in shorts and t-shirts with the heating on for example!

Like I said earlier downsizing and frugality is personal, read the boards and forums and find out your own balance and what you think will work for you. if you try something and you don't like it or it doesn't work, fine, drop it and try something else! Nothing is written in stone and there are no rights and wrongs.

Very good luck and please post and let us know how you are doing.

RAS

ExCityGirl wrote: »

I need your help / advice in regards to spending )). I can't fully downsize everything and switch to primark / topshop but I am sure there are some ways to live decently but frugally.
....................

Where do I start living frugally? I already downsized on a flat rent, cancelled my gym membership (company I am joining has one on-site) and gave away half of my clothes to charity.

OK - starting point here.

You need to learn to minimise your spends and maximise your assets.

That means that you SELL clothes you no longer want (e-bay, car boots etc) and that you buy from good quality charity shops or e-bay.

You only give stuff away if you cannot sell in a reasonable time.

You also learn to down-grade your clothing. BIL rarely ever buys leisure clothes; he's not short of a bob or two but a shirt that is no longer good enough for the office is good enough for the pub or watching TV for a few years before it becomes good enough for wearing when doing DIY and finally when painting or doing car maintenance.

I have quite a lot of stuff that has been around 10 years or more, although some of the t-shirts and fleecy tops are now relegated to DIY or night-time use.

When you buy second hand go for classics in a limited range of colours, which you can update with one or two cheap tops in this year's colours.

Chickenopolis

Hello ExCityGirl

Congratulations on the start of your exciting new journey...

I have just negotiated working less hours for my health and sanity but I like nice things too.

I would suggest shopping around on the internet and planning in advance and comparing the prices of everything. Flog your gear on the internet and look around for pe loved quality items that will last.For example I was lucky enough to find a classic Burberry mac in a Charity Shop for £9.99 , I love it but know I could sell it for more than I paid for it at any time.

Use loyalty cards if you use the store regularly and redeem for stuff you like e.g jewellery , days out and restaurants etc.

I love the challenge of being thrifty, I view it as a bit of a hobby - I feel no shame in picking up a dirty penny off of the pavement- I used to !

Good luck and if you feel you need a fix or have fallen off of the wagon , then I would recommend reading some of the downshifting blogs to get some inspiration .