Divorce settlement - opinions wanted.

clearingout

50% is a starting point. It is perfectly possible that she should receive more than this, yes. How old is she? How many working years left? Is he a high earner? Is she going to be able to house herself with 50% of the value of the house? That's probably crucial in that if either of them need a mortgage to house themselves over and above that 50%, she will be at a distinct disadvantage given her earning 15% of what he earns. In this sense, it may well be that she could ask for more capital to secure her housing but perhaps offset it against his pension or longer-term spousal maintenance. It is also possible to ask for spousal maintenance to be capitalized.

After 30 years, assuming he's a high earner and she's only working around minimum wage, I think spousal maintenance of some kind is likely. Just to add, she would probably be eligible for Working Tax Credit - has she looked at that?

Tiddlywinks

779 wrote: »

Okay fair enough. I was of the understanding that after over 30 years of marriage, she would be entitled to more than half, - ie 50% of everything that they have made together, plus more to earning potential.

The wikidivorce calculator seems to agree with the above. What am I missing?

Firstly, your friend needs to go with the recommendation of her solicitor and not on the advice of a friend who gets her information from an internet forum. Please don't try to influence her choices as she needs to act based on a professional and unbiased opinion.

As to the outline of the offer you've described.... your friend has had a fulfilling life bringing up two children without the need to formally work (presumably, if she'd wanted to work then she could have). Yes, bringing up children is hard work BUT it was her choice as well.

Meanwhile, her husband has worked hard and gained career progression and supported the wife and children. He may have had years of stress and anxiety, holding on to a job he hates just to make sure his family had financial security. Shouldn't he enjoy the product of some of his efforts?

I think the offer is very fair as she gets a pension so her future is secured.

Shock - she could now get a another job!

CH27

I think you need to keep your nose out & let your friend be guided by her solicitor.

FBaby

I don't really understand this position that the woman shouldn't be entitled to spousal maintenance because she gave up her career to raise the children. Many mothers (actually most!) work whilst being mums. Surely the decision for the mum to stay home was one of choice. I can understand that logic choice when the children are little to avoid childcare costs, but after that? Surely it remains the choice of the woman?

Also, who says that had she continued to work she would have progress up the ladder herself so that she would now be earning a significant amount? How can one predict what would have been? Progressing up the ladder is not a systematic progression for anyone, even when they have degrees.

I think the suggested offer is very generous as it is.

779

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

just what is this to do with you? another 'friend' who crawls out of the woodwork with your big wooden spoon to try and manipulate your 'friend' when shes vulnerable? you sound like you want your 'friend' to get as much as possible because you want to get your hands on it.

if your friend is happy with what is offered then that is her business. you dont know what goes on behind closed doors, so your bitterness (which is painfully obvious) has no place here.

shes lucky to be offered 50% of everything and spousal maintenance! shes not entitled to it at all. if she wants a particular lifestyle then she has to work for it like everyone else. and you cant sponge off of your friends divorce settlement. you seem like the type to put your nose in where its not wanted, people like you tend to get bitten sooner or later. focus on your own life instead of broadcasting your friends to thousands of people.

How on earth would I be able to get my hands on any of it? Your post is utter madness??? I am truely baffled, really, - you know nothing about me and yet you think you've worked out everything?

Haven't you got any close friends that you care about?

I find your post utterly, utterly strange!


Her solicitor has advised her that this offer is the bare minimum, which really does highlight how little experience of this one or two posters here have.

Thanks though to the less angry, more constructive posters, opinions appreciated.

truthhurts_3

lovecrafting wrote: »

actually truthhurts your right there i apologise, i hadnt taken into consideration the way others live, with us someone must be awake at all times with dd2 because of her meds, i think there is about 40 mins a day she is unattended.

in your opinion what do you think is reasonable?

The original post made no mention to special childcare needs so never considered this, but feel for your situation as that is greatly different :T

What is reasonable?

Okay, we have flown to space for decades, make cars for footballers leisure that can do over 200mph so why cant we.........

When taking financial settlements, take account of all the financial inputs each party has made during the relationship. Directly through wages or indirectly through saving money by staying at home with children or providing unpaid work for partners. You get a percentage then apply that to the assets.
Not sure about ongoing maintenance without financially dependent children. I guess my thoughts are you have a relationship with your employer, they get rid of (redundant) you, you get some redundancy (nowhere near 50% of your contribution) and no chance of any % of employees earnings. So I guess sort it all out with the split of assets.
Weird thing is for me, if your separating from someone why do you still want them to support you? P R I D E

lovecrafting

il be honest with you i came on here to try and help, you asked for opinions and i gave mine. no you do not agree with it but hey its my opinion and i am entitled to it.

i dont care what the solicitor has had to say, you didnt ask for legally trained opinions, as a woman, as a human and as a mother i am saying that i think it is more than fair and have said why, if you choose to take offence or be rude to people for giving what you asked for then i am not suprised you think your freind is being treated unfairly

i stand by my original statment

lovecrafting

truthhurts wrote: »

The original post made no mention to special childcare needs so never considered this, but feel for your situation as that is greatly different :T

What is reasonable?

Okay, we have flown to space for decades, make cars for footballers leisure that can do over 200mph so why cant we.........

When taking financial settlements, take account of all the financial inputs each party has made during the relationship. Directly through wages or indirectly through saving money by staying at home with children or providing unpaid work for partners. You get a percentage then apply that to the assets.
Not sure about ongoing maintenance without financially dependent children. I guess my thoughts are you have a relationship with your employer, they get rid of (redundant) you, you get some redundancy (nowhere near 50% of your contribution) and no chance of any % of employees earnings. So I guess sort it all out with the split of assets.
Weird thing is for me, if your separating from someone why do you still want them to support you? P R I D E

this person right here, speaks sence

Tiddlywinks

779 wrote: »

For the past three months they have been negotiating divorce settlement. On the table offered by her husband at the moment is the following:

50% of savings
50% of the house (whatever it sells for)
50% of his pension.
20% of his current wage as ongoing maintainence.

779 wrote: »

Her solicitor has advised her that this offer is the bare minimum, which really does highlight how little experience of this one or two posters here have.

So, negotiations continue and her solicitor thinks she can achieve more - why start a thread?

You really do need to butt out of your friend's life as you won't really be helping matters by giving her uninformed opinions.

mackemdave

I think that she should be looking for a clean break stettlement of somewhere between 55/45 and 60/40,of the house and money in her favour with no spousal maintenance and no share of pension....Then both parties can get on with their lives and there is no need to maintain the link between the two of them