Pregnant learning disabled daughter

emmylivy

A few years ago social services asked me to look after my youngest daughters twin girls (8) after she became ill, they live with me and I work and support them. We just about manage .My daughter still claims the allowances for them as it is the only way I can keep her in a flat nearby and keep an eye on her health. My eldest daughter has been away in sheltered accommodation for some years as she is learning disabled and due to a whole lot of mess ups the poor lamb has had to come home to me after we found she 27 weeks pregnant and she did not know. She now wants to keep her baby but needs help to parent that I am prepared to give. Social services answer is to ask me to take out a residency order for all three children as the baby will be a child in need and see me again sometime with no financial support and little chance of being able to keep on working. The stress of this is getting to me. I offered to foster the baby and give up work but they said no.

esmy

Does your older daughter contribute anything financially to the care of her children? If not you should be claiming CB and any CTC due for them as you are their carer. I can understand you wanting to help her out but if your daughter just has herself to look after she should not be claiming the benefits for her children. Just on CB you're already down by over £30 per week.
Is the plan for your younger daughter and her baby to live with you after the baby is born? Would she need supervision with her baby full time? Who will be financially responsible for the baby, as in who will be making the claim for CB/CTC? Is the Dad likely to pay any maintenance?

thorsoak

Emmylivy - have you looked at Mooloo's threads on the Relationships board - see https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2949198 (sorry can't do neat linkies) - her story is almost parallel to yours, and she's going along the Social Services/finances/etc path. It might help you to talk to her - or to post on the Relationships board.

emmylivy

Thanks for your answers, My eldest daughter will be living with me for ever now, and I will support her with the baby and support her as well. She is a dear sweet person who tries very hard and after the considerable fright of finding out she was pregnant after not being diagnosed for so long ( she also had bad thrombosis so its been quite a stressful time) she has tried to get her head round everything and is doing her best very to be a good mum. My youngest daughter has some quite significant mental health issues and both suffer from the no money and no resources to support syndrome that is everywhere at the moment.

Hammyman

I would just point out that at the moment your daughter is committing benefit fraud by claiming for children that are not with her. I understand why you're doing it but the DWP aren't likely to care if they get wind of it so just take care.

My friend has been in a similar boat with his wife's half sister (aged 8 at the time and with learning disabilities) when both parents died. They took out a residency order before they adopted her. Fostering was apparently out of the question with it being close family. Money wasn't a problem as she effectively became their child so they were entitled to Child Benefit, Child Tax Credit and in this cases, Carers Allowance too - thats something you may want to look into if you are caring after your daughter and she gets DLA.

esmy

Sorry emmylivvy I got your eldest and youngest mixed up.

meds12_2

I have no useful information or experience of this at all, but just wanted to say what a lovely person you seem to be.:) Good luck in getting some financial help in order for you to bring up the 3 little ones.

cosmic-dust

emmylivy wrote: »

Social services answer is to ask me to take out a residency order for all three children as the baby will be a child in need and see me again sometime with no financial support and little chance of being able to keep on working.

Nothing changes this is SS get out clause, we wash our hands attitude. Once that RO is in place you can wave bye bye to them and any help that they should be providing!

[Deleted User]

if you legally have a baby to look after then you should qualify for income support,and as you are looking after all 3 kids you should be getting the CB and CTC for all 3,probably in excess of £270 per week plus housing and council tax benefit,the daughter thats now living with you i assume gets esa or simlar plus dla?same goes for the daughter who doesnt and she will get help with rent and council tax.
get some advice from CAB dont let SS just expect you to do their job and not help and advise on money issues

emmylivy

Well more social workers and medical people to see this week, it gets harder to stay in work as I have to have so much time off to be with her. Just hoping that I can make it all work. Thanks for all the helpful messages I will get on to the CAB and have downloaded lots of stuff that tells you what government policy is.....trouble is that it does not seem to match what is available.