Hen Night Worries

bride2be2012

Well the wedding isn't until the end of May, and yet I'm worrying about my hen night already. I told my bridesmaids from the start (they are my sister and best friend) that I do not want strippers, a theme, everyone dressed in pink and wearing silly hats/tiaras, party games etc etc.

A hen night like that just isn't me. All I want is some sort of day time activity (quad biking etc), a meal and a club so I can dance the night away lol! Had the girls round last night, and apparently I've given them 'too many rules' so they are just going to organise it themselves and not tell me anything.

Now I am seriously worried about what is going to happen. My best friend is really outgoing and had exactly the kind of hen night I want to avoid. My sister is the kind of person to say black just coz I say white.

I've told them I will walk out and go home if a stripper turns up, but they just laughed and said 'it's a hen night, what do you expect?'. I am seriously considering not having a hen night as what they're planning just sounds like a nightmare. Any advice??

MaggieBaking

Your maids either -

1 - know you are always worrying about what they're organising and have told you it's going to be a secret. Their intention is to give you a marvellous day filled with exactly what you've been asking for but making it secret to take the pressure and stress off you.

2 - think they know better than you about what will give you the best day ever. They think that by telling you it's a secret you wont worry about what it's going to be like and instead you will just enjoy yourself.

Either way you're going to have to tell them that contrary to their opinion you're even more stressed now about it all and you want to be involved again. Tell them you understand that you're so awkward to work around so you wouldn't mind organising it yourself if necessary.

And at the end of the day if you know what you want to do why don't you put a bit more work into it having conversations with your maids "I've always wanted to try a muddy activity for a girlie day, I've driven past that place a few times, you know, the quad biking one and I think it looks amazing. I checked it up this morning and it's £30 a person. How cool would that be!"

Don't just sit there and say "no this, no that, maybe, but not quite that but close, no, not that" and let them organise it around you.

valos_mummy

Do what I'm doing - have two!! I always wanted more of a girlie spa day with maybe a nice dinner and a big sleepover with chick flicks and cocktails. Chief bridesmaid is thinking of going away somewhere, which wil probably involve more risque activities haha (prob not abroad though); and she's really excited about planning a secret hen for me that I would feel really bad about peeing on her bonfire so to speak! So I'm happy to plan a seperate more chiled one that can also cater for mums and older ladies who probably wouldn't attend a more typical hen do. I've told her as such and she's happy with it

trinity_enigma

Do have another friend who could be on your side and gently prod them in the right direction on your behalf?

becca0417

I'm also having 2! My first one will be a total suprise (I have also requested no stripper!!!) and the second is what I want! That way I definitely get what I want and if I get 2, even better.
I would think they are thinking of you - they won't want you to feel uncomfortable. Maybe give them a bit more guidance on what you do want.

BLUis

Luckily, I'm organising my own hen do as my daughter is only 17 and she is the only bridesmaid I am having.

One of my close friends is giving me a hand, but I am doing EXACTLY what I want, staying in a nice hotel, spa day, champagne bar, then for those who want to go clubbing, they can do, where as I will be going to wine bars!

I dont want a stripper either, I think they are horrible. I dont mind wearing the outfit (if I REALLY have to) but I cant stand the tackiness.

I'm too old for that cr*p! lol

purple.sarah

Organise your own and tell them if they want to be involved to respect your wishes.

trying_2_b_good

Are they not winding you up? My maids kept joking about strippers and said the exact same - I was being too difficult and putting too many rules in place. In the end, they organised all and it was perfect - not a plastic willy in sight!

They know you, love you,. and know it should be special.

Trust them x

Mrs_Moore_To_Be

I would speak to them and tell them that if they are not going to follow your wishes then you know you wont enjoy it and would prefer to arrange it yourself.

You need to say what you think

Beetle_lover

i think it perfectly ok to have your own rules!!!

im not a pink/stipper kind of person either and i also wanted something i could do with my mum. so i decided i wanted to go to disneyland!! got a great deal on group rates and it means that there can't be any sex questions in front of my mum and willies everywhere lol. everyone loved the idea, doing it 5 months before the wedding though so its not too expensive all at once.

do what you want hun, its your night not theirs.

Hollie84

Im also pretty much doing my own.my sisters said dublin for the weekend.£500 we would need,no way and plus i dont have a passport and only certain airlines allow u to fly with a drivers licence (want to get my passport in married name) they also wanted to dress me as leprechaun hmm yeah dont think so.im 4ft 10 as it is dont need anymore attention on me.asked a few of my friends and 3 of them said they wouldnt be able to afford it.so told my sis who said u may aswell organise your own.ok by me.so were off to cardiff for the weekend,fri-sun.fri eve travel there,nice meal and drinks,on the town on the sat night then home on the sun.told them no stripper and they said they wouldnt waste there money.have said fancy dress but its open so anyone can go as what they like.