Kids not in school

Empty_pockets

Without going into oo much detail i'm after some advice on what could or should be provided and what can or cannot be done.

I know this is usually the Dad bashing area but would appreciate advice.

Kids live with their mother, my two (8 & 10) and hers, 12 & 1.
I see the eldest and feel resopnsible for her as well as my own.

She moves around a lot, usually when she gets evicted or rent arrears etc.

She last moved in July (kicked out of a pub she was licencee for)

I questioned their schooling (they have never spent a full year in the same school ever) and was told she couldn't register them until the schools started back so they wouldnt be starting on Sep 6th with the rest of the kids.

Week later I saw them and asked how school was going, found out they hadn't started yet, she was still sorting it.

Week or so later I question it again, told teacher training day.

Assumed all was well but checked a few days back and now found out they have still not started school.

Their mother comes out with excuse after excuse and tells me she is working with Education welfare services but its the schools that are full and not taking kids on.

She won't give me the number of the contact she has at the council
She doesn't want me to get involved as she says she can manage.
She won't update me with progress. I've tried waiting for her to get in touch, I've tried phoning, texting & voice messages 10 times a day but she just screens the calls.
She won't give me her mothers number so I can go though a third party.

I think there is something very wrong about this and want to get to the bottom of it. Doesn't seem right that we are approaching half term and the council is happy for kids not to even have started yet.

I found the Ed welfare number on the council webpages, going to try and speak to them tomorrow but I don't even know what schools it is they're trying to get into.

Any advice?

Thanks

onetomany

do you have pr?

Empty_pockets

Sorry, not sure what you mean by pr?

Ahh, just clicked. I am named on the birth certificate for my two. I see them regulaly and have a good relationship with them. I have a private arrangement for financial maintaince with their mother.

AnxiousMum

You may need to check and see if you have parental responsibility! Were you and the mother married at the time of the children's birth?

Reason for asking......IF your child was born PRIOR to 2003 and you were not married, you do not automatically have parental responsibility even if you ARE named on the birth certificate.

Given the ages of your children, your ex may be aware of this - but if she's not - then don't tell her!

If you do NOT have parental responsibility (very likely for the eldest for sure) then the council/school etc. will not be able to discuss the situation with you. Hopefully though, the would take the details and follow up to ensure that the child is in high school.

Check on that parental responsibility thing though - you want to make sure that you DO have it!

onetomany

parental responsibilty

Empty_pockets

Thanks,

Anxiouis, how do I check?

Children were born before 2003
I am named on birth certificate
We were never married.

Thanks.

AnxiousMum

Empty_pockets wrote: »

Thanks,

Anxiouis, how do I check?

Children were born before 2003
I am named on birth certificate
We were never married.

Thanks.

Then, unfortunately, due to the ancient laws of this country at the time, you do not automatically have parental responsibility of your children. The only way that you would've gotten parental responsibility is via a court, or possibly, via the CSA route had you sorted child support that way.

I don't know if the ex saying you have parental responsibility (ie on school forms - where it says 'who has parental responsibility' if she has named you - then that gives it or not. I hope someone will be along to tell you for sure how to ensure you have it!

AnxiousMum

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ParentsRights/DG_4002954 for info on parental responsibility.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

Has she always been like this about their education? How long ago did you split up with her?

If she keeps getting evicted for rent arrears a good solution would be for you to pay the rent and deduct it from the child maintenance you pay. At least this way you would know your kids had a settled home and school life. Is this an option?

Empty_pockets

Their education isn't really a priority for her.

She wouldn't accept me paying her rent, there have been times shes moved and not told me. I have nothing but a mobile number and only ever hear from her when payment is due.

Last time my mother organised a private rental for her and acted as guarantour she treated is as she does all her other place and wrecked it. Filthy, dirty, dog mess in carpets etc.

My mum couldn't afford it, and nor could I really, but I took cash against a credit card and paid the elderly landlord £1500 towards the repairs.

Spendless

She might be telling the truth. We had friends move back to the UK from Spain a few years ago and went thru a similar experience to what you are describing with regards to their kids and getting a school place. Same time of year too, they only started a week or 2 before Oct 1/2 term. This was for Secondary school places which for the eldest is the same. What you can do to help matters, i don't know. You could check with your ex if she has filled out an application form for your 10 yo for Secondary next year (assumming he is last year of primary school?)