Stay at home parents are non persons.

robindunne1

Was thinking the other day that it appears that every other person in society is recognised by the government:

Work – receive a salary and taxed on it
Unemployed – receive jobseekers allowance
Disabled – receive disability related benefits
Carer – receive carers allowance
Pensioner – receive the state pension

I do not expect the government to give my wife money to look after my children as that it our responsibility, which I am happy to shoulder – but they are prepared to pay for other people to look after my kids!

It does make it hard for stay at home mums/dads to feel valued when the government simply does not recognise them. There is no incentive whatsoever to allow a mother/father to look after their own kids. I cannot get my wife’s taxable allowance and there is no single persons discount available – so for all intents and purposes she does not exist when handing out the allowances, but when it comes to taking money she does exist!

Is there a more important role in society than being a parent? Seems this government does not see that and is more concerned with pushing kids into child care and every person into a job. May fill the chancellors coffers in the short term – but the break down of the family is one of the biggest ills facing society today and these policies do not help.

Comments?

Thriftylady

I agree. I also don't expect that the government should pay me to look after my own child, thats my responsibility. But I do find it frustrating that if I were to stay at home, my husband would be heavily taxed in order to pay for childcare for other people, instead of being able to keep a bit more of his salary to look after his own family.

Thats not a criticism of working parents claiming child tax credits - I'm one of them myself. But its not by choice, its necessity, and I know that many other mums feel the same. But I do think its a bizarre system when we are constantly being lectured on the importance of family, and yet the actual taxation policy totally contradicts what the government are always saying.

black-saturn

You should try being a single stay at home parent. You get treated even worse.

Thriftylady

black-saturn wrote:

You should try being a single stay at home parent. You get treated even worse.

I've no doubt that you do, it must be a nightmare. The one thing I've found since becoming a parent is that there are always a whole lot of people who just can't wait to tell you you're doing it wrong.

And I think in many ways the UK is a nation of child haters. They are seen as a nuisance, a drain on resources and a liability, instead of being seen as the next generation, future contributors to society or whatever. I know there are some nightmare kids out there, but there are nightmare OAPS as well, and no one ever seems to get worked up about them!

nej

Do what everyone else seems to do and get her to fake a back injury or something....

<not being serious!>

robindunne1

The Tories recently released a report with a heavy bias toward how government policies are excluding the family. The news article the covered it interviewed two young boys who had been in trouble with the police and both fo them said things would be different in their lives if their father had been around while they were growing up.

These short termist policies that are in place at the moment force both parents out to work and therefore place more strain on the relationship. May be great for the economy in the short term - but what about the quality of life? and the stability of having parents to look after them whenever that care is needed? Now there is more depression, ASBOS, seperations etc... than ever before and these policies the government adopts cannot help.

In the meantime I guess we'll go on living on a shoe string to enable my wife to have the choice to stay at home with our two wonderful daughters. May be hard but in my view it is worth it.

pudding06

Gosh I really do agree with you,

I was a stay at home mum withour 4 boys in the 1980's/1990's.

I was charged poll tax even though I had absolutely no income at all, and my oh was in a very low paid job as well. When filling in forms I used to put Mother as my occupation and the always changed it to housewife!!!

personally I think its an insult. - why is being a housewife more important than being a mother. I wouuld never stay at home to mind the house but my kids definately were worth it

and now they all grown up ( 4 wonderful men) they really do appreciate the sacrifices we made for them.

I became a student - that increased my status in society becasue I was no longer just a 'housewife' or 'just a mother' - how shameful is that for our society?

rant over

pudds

just remember when others' kids are running riot - yours will have been brought up with your values, it makes a huge difference. Well worth the sacrifice too.

liney

However, Black Saturn, Single parents do get paid to stay at home, unlike SAHM/Dads who are part of a couple.

achtunglady

I am a married stay at home mum and can totally empathise with what the OP has said. Cannot claim anything because "your husband will support you as hes working". Yes hes working but he has to pay all his bills,as well as his dental/optical treatments, and prescriptions, full rent and council tax. I earn nothing,yet am in a forgotten minority, not on the official unemployed list, so in limbo.
They have abolished the married couples tax allowance, so really theres no incentive to staying married apart from automatic rights for the father over his kids (parental responsibility).
I could go back to work, but what i earn I will have to pay out in childcare, so if i earned £200 a week working full time, i would come home with less than £75, is it really worth the hassle?

I'm not expecting the government to pay stay at home mums, but perhaps re-introduce the married couples tax allowance, seeing as the majority of couples are not married, it shouldn't cost so much. Or transfer the unused tax allowance from the wife to the husband.

The goverment has made it more of an incentive for couples to live apart, they can claim in their own right, they get more if they claim as individuals rather than a couple and often live in two properties, so two lots of rent being claimed as well as council tax. Wonder why theres a shortage of social housing????

achtunglady

If I was a single mum, I would be better off by nearly £500 a month, thats rent and council tax paid for, then there would be the income support i would receive, plus single parents benefit plus childbenefit, plus salary from other half, plus free healthcare ( glasses, dental treatment and prescriptions),but no I prefer to live a life where I am not looking over my shoulder all the time in case someone has grassed me up, I live honestly and bring my children up that way too,because i'm a great believer in what goes around comes around and the sins of the parents often fall on the children.

abbecer

I wholeheartedly agree with this post. If SAHP got better deal society would be a better place as more parents would have the right to choose what is right for their family.

Rebecca x