£50 a week too much pocket money?

lil_me

So he doesn't drink, smoke etc, think I'd be wondering how he needs £50 a week, would be a no in my house, but what we do is my partner is self employed in a way, can make more if he puts more hours in, he gives me an agreed amount per week and what he gets extra is his.

Sugarhunny1

what would you recommend is a fair amount lil_me?

lizzyb1812

I'm afraid that I will be going against the majority here, but I think that you might be in danger of pushing OH a bit too much.

Your debt is at 0% - this deal will run out eventually but you already have some savings towards paying off some of it and you may well be able to get a 0% balance transfer deal on some or all of the rest when your deal does run out. You seem able to make more than minimum payments, so your debt is there but is not a huge problem as far as managing day to day is concerned.

Like you I'm very keen to chuck all I possibly can at what I owe - you at your debts, me at our mortgage - but OH (yours and mine) can be pushed only so far, and he's right. Your debt position is not drastic, you and OH both work hard outside and inside the home and deserve some personal money/space/time to just do what you want. If your OH is OK with his £50 a week, if your budget is OK with that and if he is resisting changing that, then for now just live with it. I appreciate what other posters have said about equal pocket money etc, but it really isn't about equal cash, it's about being equally happy/comfortable with your situation.

There's nothing to stop you from carrying on with your own personal initatives, like a spending diary, but do this because you want to without expecting OH to do it too. You have your "things" and he has his.

Sorry, rambling a bit here

lizzyb

firesidemaid

hi there

in support of your thread, i have recently thought of asking the question on here - what do i do if me and my partner have different attitudes to money?

i have a good job and my partner has long-term sickness benefits - which does affect his attitude to money ie. he will spend everything he has plus delights on spending lots in the supermarket too.

we have £70 a week each (i agree too much) - his £140 a fortnight never makes it to week 2, where as i can never spend mine even if i get takeaways etc. i try to save as much of mine as possible and make a point of telling him that - to pay off the mgage etc.

i agree you do have to be a bit sneaky. and just so you know 'his' gets spent on tobacco, pub (his contact with the outside world) and his hobbies.

i don't know......

Sugarhunny1

Evening everyone,

Just thought i would update this thread. I have now paid off all the debt apart from my 0% loan for our car but I have 4 more payments to make on that and then i'll be debt free.

For any eagle eyed person you may have noticed that it is I and not WE, thinks have changed dramatically lately and OH admitted he has an alcohol problem, I should have seen the signs (im sure thats a song!) After finding the 4th empty vodka bottle i couldnt really deny what i had found. Things have changed so much and im unsure where to go from here. Anyone with advice? I have tried setting ground rules before regarding his drink but they havent worked.

Sugar xxx

ZTD

There is a quitting alcohol thread that you may want to try asking your question on. They will probably be able to give guidence.

perfectlypoor

Could you agree on maybe £30 each per week for now?

benbenandme

Aw hun, no advice really, when you say "I" instead of "WE", are you trying to sort things out between you or have you split? Well done on reducing the debts so quickly though, I'm assuming it was down to you?? Good luck with whatever the future holds, and keep posting on here, whatever happens you're in a much healthier financial position to deal with it now

jak

That explains the £50 a week then...
My Dad ia a recovering alcoholic and when we found out about his problem, I emailed AA to ask them what to do. They were great and the advice they gave me was invaluable. Why don't you give that a try? It's all anon. and a great support system.
I hope everything works out for you.
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