MSE News: 80,000 more families to get help with childcare costs

clearingout

callumbarney wrote: »

to Adamantine

it's not about having a football team! if you have your own mortgage these days which could be quite expensive, and two children to put into childcare there is actually little point having the second wage as it just pays childcare! I will be going back to work next yr after maternity leave and our combined salaries will only just cover essential bills! that is with some supposed tax credits to help with childcare, if however i was living in council accommodation i would be at least £200 a month better off and this would fund the cildcare costs i would have to pay for. but no we try our best to house ourselves and care for our cildren unlike benefit claimants who have extra children and get an increase in money! we have had a pay freeze! and i dont mean genuine claimants who due to the govts incompetence genuinely need help and deserve it through losing their jobs!

Have you ever been a single parent? Do you have anyone close to you - family for friends - who have been single parents? What gives you the right to an opinion on my life (and those like me) without even knowing my situation? Few people choose to be single parents. We end up in this situation because our long term partners and husbands/wives have affairs, or our relationships breakdown for a whole host of reasons that unless you've been there, you couldn't possibly understand. Guilt, something which often affects the party doing the breaking up of a relationship, is an incredibly powerful emotion which generates all sorts of wierd behaviour - including a refusal to see children or to support children financially. New partners, particularly those that are 'new' as a result of an affair, have a habit of sticking their oar in (sometimes on purpose, other times accidentally but the impact is the same) which can cause all sorts of problems. I can name you several handful of regular posters on this site you have been there, done that, and have stories to tell which would make the average person living an average life's hair turn into ringlets.

This move by the Government is a fabulous one and one I wish had been in existence when my ex left me. At that point, I had only 7 hours work a week which I managed to up to 14 but no more. I had to pay for childcare which wiped out what I earnt. As a result, I went on benefits because I was better off that way. I am currently teacher training - I am not young, I am university educated and didn't marry until well established at age 30 with a husband and a secure roof over our heads which we paid for easily. At 38, I had three young children and was on benefits. It wasn't fun. I could have returned to work in the teaching field as a cover supervisor through temping agencies at least 2 years ago but because the agencies couldn't guarentee me 16 hours a week, I remained on benefits. With this in place, I could have worked as the agencies required and input into the economy from both a financial perspective but also from an educational perspective as I teach in a shortage area.

My ex as a self-employed company director, finds it particularly easy to evade the CSA and has made no payments towards the upkeep of his children in almost 3 years and he has chosen not to see them for the last 10 months (his only contact has been 5 phone calls in that time). I suggest before you are rude to me and people like me suggesting I can't possibly care for my children and that I only had them to get more money, you take a look at the wider picture and start to attack the real 'villains' in the system - we are all individuals and our 'villains' are different in each individual situation. This Government move is one which will have enormous benefit to single parents who struggle to be in 3 places at once, who need flexibility in their working arrangements or who want to be there for their children whilst they are young whilst still keep a hand in the world of work. I don't often applaud, but on this occassion I will because it really is a move that will help the thousands of decent, educated, willing to work women in the UK who struggle because they don't have enough hours to get help with childcare.

Oh, and the council housing thing? I own my own home - a combination of sheer hard work, over-paying the mortgage, keeping out of debt for many years, not taking holidays and an incredible mum who was both willing and able to make up the shortfall so I no longer have a mortgage. My children are as 'middle class' as they come, despite having a mother dependent on the benefit and tax credit system to keep them afloat and a father who is absent. What does that do for your stereotyping of single mothers, then?

adamantine

i know i certainly didnt have kids to get benefits. i was happily married. or so i thought.

only reason i am in social housing is because before we were housed by the army in several places all over the world! and the fact i had to more 850 miles away from my ex!

i would love to work and not "scrounge" off the state but unfortunately i cannot work as i have no one to look after my kids and cannot afford childcare. i gave up my career to support my husband abroad anf what thanks do i get? what support do i get to get back on my feet?

i get looked down on by people like you with no idea.

SingleSue

I was also happily married (or so I thought), had always worked and all children were born during our marriage.

I too would love not to receive benefits but finding childcare for disabled children is nigh on impossible in this area.....the same story as when I was married. As a couple, we used to arrange our working lives around the other so that the impossible to come by childcare need was negated, unfortunately, when we split, the childcare provision went too.

And no childcare provision makes it very very difficult indeed especially when combined with a home school agreement which basically states I have to be able to attend the school within a maximum of 15 minutes due to their needs, something which happens incredibly frequently...even daytime hours when they are at school are not free to me, I spend almost as much time at their school as I do out of it!

Then comes the myriad of medical and therapy appointments, some weeks I feel like I am chasing my bottom with barely time to go to the toilet let alone sit down and relax.

I do live in a social housing home, things went a bit eek in the last recession for us and we lost our mortgaged home, we fought it for ages, tried to carry on ignoring medical advice, I was working 3 jobs and my husband two but had to admit defeat in the end when I almost died from kidney failure and pneumonia (and had severe PND) and had to stop work for 6 months...that 6 months was the hammer blow to all our efforts (it didn't help we were not advised that sickness benefit may have been payable or that we were actually entitled to family credit as it was then, which could have made all the difference to us - we were trying to survive on his wages of £586 a month and a mortgage payment of £500)

My children are always put first, I will go without meals to make sure they are fed or so they can go on a school trip (I refuse to ask for hand outs at the school), or so they can have the correct uniform - don't believe those who say you get free school uniform on benefits, it is area dependent. In my area, there is no uniform allowance, I have to purchase it just like everyone else.

I spend hours caring for my children, hours doing their therapies, hours doing their physio, hours on their education, my children are certainly not allowed to run free or run amok.,,in fact, pretty much most of my waking hours (and a fair few of my supposed sleeping ones too!) are spent caring for the children.

I couldn't have more children even if I wanted to, so no extra babies being churned out here for extra benefits....I had a hysterectomy 10 years ago whilst still married.

This is why I hate the stereotyping, yes there are some on benefits who fit the stereotype but there also many more who don't.

adamantine

in order to churn out these kids for extra benefits i would need a man to procreate with. since i dont get out to meet these men its impossible! :rotfl: