what am i gonna do?:(

djdido2

I'm in such a quandry I don't even know where to start. Just looking for advice but don't want to waffle. So i'll try and be brief!

I am a lone parent of 2 kids working in the evenings on a self-employed basis. I receive tax credits but I have to pay my childcare out of my earnings as there is no approved childcare accessible to me in the evening. Work is quietish at the moment and I don't know if I can keep the business up and running.

My ex has rang today and can no longer pay the £120 per month he has been paying for the last 8 years or so because he is changing jobs. This has always been a verbal agreement and the CSA have never been involved!

I had a night during the week and that has also just been dropped due to lack of custom. That's £400 a month I'm not going to have????.

*heart sinks*

I am thinking of closing the business and taking up employment during the day so that some of the childcare is subsidised by tax credits. There's a job I have seen 21 hours at £11.000 per annum so will my tax credits award stay the same?.

Been on entitled to and its really baffling me as I'm not very good at this type of thing!

Any advice support really appreciated

stacey21_2

Hi,

Not sure if I can be much help but here goes

1) is there a reason you didnt get csa involved? if not, then why not get them involved? not had any experience with them but im sure they work out what he can pay and assign you that?

2) is your business one which you can run part time alongside another part time one? if so, take up the part time employment with guaranteed wage and supplement this with any work you can get with your business?

3) you must have the internet to post on here so can you have a look round your house and see if you have anything to sell? not sure of the ages of your kids but what about old toys/clothes/bikes etc??

4) sign up to quidco and survey sites etc - more people will be on soon enough to point you in the right direction

and lastly, if you want to, you could post an SOA to let the members see if they can identify any savings (i.e utility bills etc) within your outgoings

hth

djdido2

thanks stacey!

1) The CSA did not involve the ex as I was ill for quite some time after we split (nervous breakdown) and they deemed it in my interests to not involve him. (old rules, i think?). I have an on-going case for my other child and they are a complete joke so its not really worth hounding them). Plus getting the CSA involved now after all these years of being amicable, I think will open a huge can of worms and I don't want that for dd.

2) I could still do some evening work alongside my business yes.

3) I am making a start with ebay first thing tomorrow

4) Will try Quidco. Cheers for the tip.

SOA. Without even doing this I already know I'm out of pocket but I am going to post it asap.

Thanks for the help!!!

Dido
x

stacey21_2

No probs, I can see what you mean about CSA. How about asking your ex what he can afford? Even if it is £50 a month or even just a token payment?
It may be worth while also to watch ebay for a while and see if there are any 1p listing days to help keep the costs down.
What is your own business doing? Is there any way you can advertise it or get another part time job in that field?

djdido2

I'm a dj and singer. so its evenings only really. Can do the odd christening party sundays and also kids parties so I could look for work during the day and do this as and when they come in!

How often do ebay do the 10p listings. Missed the last one!

Yes I will ring the ex and ask him if he can afford to pay something at least!

Thanks again for the reply.

Dido

black-saturn

Sorry but I think you should involve the CSA now. If he's working he should be paying his way with the children. A real parent can't just drop their responsibilities when they feel like it. Imagine what would happen if you suddenly said "I'm not paying for anything for the children anymore".

Zara33

Totally agree with black-saturn on this one, he is changing jobs therfore still getting an income. Personally i would contact the CSA.

Scarlett1

awww dido sorry to hear you are still have a tough time, I cant see why changing jobs will stop your ex paying maintenace as surely he would be leaving one job and going straight into another, I doubt very much now that you will see any money of him at all in the futre, I think you should go through the csa

Morglin

Contact the CSA - they will do the leg work for you, and at least ensure that you get some maintenance for the kids.

But, bear in mind that they are in chaos, and this may take ages to get sorted.

Lin

djdido2

He says he is going to do an apprentice type position which means he will be taking a huge pay cut. he has a son and twin daughters and a wife at home so not sure i would get much out of him anyway. I'm not holding out much hope with CSA either. I ring them every day for the case i have on-going with ds. They are so useless I refuse to waste my breath and cost of the phone call on that so there is little point trying to pursue this.

I know he is obliged to pay but I really have had my belly full of these idiot men who have there kids and then don't want to pay. I have managed up to now without there input so I want to keep it that way.

I was looking at gaining more work maybe or finding other sources of income so I dont have to rely on anybody but me.

I want to close my business account at the bank but i have a loan outstanding on this. Can I ring up and just cancel it and transfer the loan payment to my personal account?

Thanks for your replies. Well appreciated

x
Dido

Jet

Dido,

I totally understand your reasons for not involving the CSA and think you are right not to count on getting any maintenance - anything you do get will be a bonus.

It's not the way it should be - but there you go.

With regards to your tax credits - if you're income for this year is likely to be less than your income for last year, you need to inform tax credits and they will issue you a new award for more money.

Good luck.