Not enough income to support our family

Person_one

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I think it's certainly a consideration for the lowest earner to give up work.

I was out of paid employment as a SAHM for about 3 years and found a job easily when I wanted to return. It depends what you do during your time off: if you sit and watch Jeremy Kyle then there's no hope, but if you run playgroups, join PTAs, become a school governor, volunteer with a charity etc, it shows willing and that you've got transferable skills.

Seems like sexism by the back door to me, I completely understand why so many women do it but its not really on that so many feel they don't have any other choice.

Plans_all_plans

Why do you see sexism everywhere? I've never encountered it once.

ailuro2

Could one of you change to a scooter to keep running costs and fuel costs down?

I'd go through everything - food bills, electricity bills, present for Christmas, clothes etc and see where any money can be saved.

Are the childcare providers approachable about reducing fees if they might lose you?

could one of you get a job working from home to be there for the kids when the other one is at work then work when the other one gets home from work / the kids are in bed.

zagfles

Person_one wrote: »

Seems like sexism by the back door to me, I completely understand why so many women do it but its not really on that so many feel they don't have any other choice.

I've heard the opposite far more times - many feel they have "don't have any other choice" but to work, when they'd prefer to be a SAHM.

Person_one

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Why do you see sexism everywhere? I've never encountered it once.

Mainly because sexism is everywhere, if you've never seen it you aren't looking properly.

Many families are in a situation where they need the lower earner to stay at home as childcare is prohibitively expensive. The lower earner is usually the woman (google 'pay gap') so financial constraints force families into stereotypical gender roles and this they are perpetuated.

I don't know a single dad who's given up work or even gone part time after becoming a parent, and countless women who have. Add up the numbers amongst the people you know.

Plans_all_plans

I realise our worldviews are vastly different but I don't see it as problematic that "gender stereotypes are perpetuated". There are some things women are better at and some things men are better at. I know it's probably not a popular opinion, but that's how I see it.

Anyway sorry for going off topic OP!

fannyanna

As a female I'm the breadwinner. When Hubby and I have a child we will both work. We can't survive on his wage alone and I would resent him if he were to be a stay at home Dad.

It's often bounded around that it's sexist that the Woman is expected to be the stay at home parent but I wonder how many women would rather be the sole breadwinner whilst their Husband stayed at home and looked after the children?

zippybungle

I know it's not any help, but I am prob in the same situation.
3 Kids = no money!
Husband works full time, I work 4 days a week, half my wage goes on childcare the other half goes on bills! oh and I get £10 per month tax credit!
I am hoping it will get easier for us next year when my youngest starts Big School.


Zippy x

j.e.j.

Person_one wrote: »

Not the best plan long term, when the children start school and she looks for work again the gap will be a huge problem, especially if the job market doesn't pick up much by then.

It's a shame if that were to be the case. It's like society is saying that bringing up children and providing a stable home environment is not a worthy thing to be doing.

JulieGeorgiana

I had this issue too... First an SOA on the debt free wannabe board to help lower your outgoings... then the Old Style board to get in control of your food budget and spending...

Then I fell pregnant, and I gave up work (well paying) because after childcare, car costs etc we were only £100 a month better off if I worked!!!! And as I no longer work the food costs have dropped as has our spending because I have time to get bargains and shop around, and we are selling the 2nd car.

Giving up work is an option (especially with 3 children) and although I always enjoyed having a career I feel great being a SAHM and am so pleased I don't have to feel guilty, because I know we are better off for it! I never got to stay home with DS1, so I am so pleased i can do so now with this baby.