Advice please

recci

Hi
I split up with my ex about 3 an a half years ago when she booted me out for another man. We had two kids together at the time one was 3 and the other was 1 an half. I was a full time student at the time and was a full time student up until about june 2010. I was working part time as a Pizza delivery driver while studying but I assume while I was a student I was totally exempt from paying child maintenance? is this correct?

However I did pay her cash every week even though I was earning next to nothing. I have now been in a full time job for 4 months and continued to pay her cash in hand but I suggested that I start paying her monthly since I get paid monthly and she agreed but as soon as I mentioned about paying it into her bank account things turn nasty and the new bloke got involved issuing threats and so on. Now I don't know why they don't want it paid into their bank account directly and quite frankly I don't care but I know that I need to start getting proof that this money is being paid or I could land myself in a lot of debt.

How should I proceed from here? is there a way I could pay her cash and still get proof that would satisfy the CSA or stand up in court? Is there some kind of legal document we could sign that would stand up as a private agreement?

I also wander why the CSA has never been in touch with me thus far since I know she was on Income support for a while after I left and she was forced to give them my name. Would it be because I was a student at the time?

PreludeForTimeFeelers

recci wrote: »

Hi
I split up with my ex about 3 an a half years ago when she booted me out for another man. We had two kids together at the time one was 3 and the other was 1 an half. I was a full time student at the time and was a full time student up until about june 2010. I was working part time as a Pizza delivery driver while studying but I assume while I was a student I was totally exempt from paying child maintenance? is this correct?

However I did pay her cash every week even though I was earning next to nothing. I have now been in a full time job for 4 months and continued to pay her cash in hand but I suggested that I start paying her monthly since I get paid monthly and she agreed but as soon as I mentioned about paying it into her bank account things turn nasty and the new bloke got involved issuing threats and so on. Now I don't know why they don't want it paid into their bank account directly and quite frankly I don't care but I know that I need to start getting proof that this money is being paid or I could land myself in a lot of debt.

How should I proceed from here? is there a way I could pay her cash and still get proof that would satisfy the CSA or stand up in court? Is there some kind of legal document we could sign that would stand up as a private agreement?

I also wander why the CSA has never been in touch with me thus far since I know she was on Income support for a while after I left and she was forced to give them my name. Would it be because I was a student at the time?

Have the CSA actually been in touch with you at any point since the start of your separation? If not then there's not actually a case, and things are left entirely to yourself and your ex to come to a private agreement. The CSA have no jurisdiction until either you apply to pay maintenance through them, or the Parent with Care contacts them to ask for them to get involved.

recci

No the CSA has never been in touch with me ever! But I think she said she had to give them my name at one point in order to claim income support hence why I was wandering why they have never got round to contacting me.

Surly the CSA could still contact me at any time and try to claim that I have never paid a penny because I have n proof? There seems to be an abundance of such horror stories.

FBaby

something doesn't sound right. 3 1/2 years ago, if she was on IS, she would have required to give your details to the csa and they would have come to you for maintenance. I understand she had no say in the matter, it wasn't her choice. It is therefore very odd you've never been contacted. Have you always been at the same address? Did your ex have your correct details? As a student, you might have been assessed as not having to pay anything, but they would still have had to contac you and assess your case.

It is also very strange that she is making a fuss about you paying it in her account. Maintenance payment is not taken account with means tested benefits, so don't see why she would want to keep that underhand. Maybe I'm wrong about this. Or maybe it is that she wants to keep it a secret with her new beau!!!

You could give her cash and get signed receipts that it is for maintenance, but would she agree to this? In any case, i really think you should call csa and confirm that there has never been an open case before you do anything else.

recci

I have basically thought the same things as you. But I am loath to contact them in case it opens a can or worms. I can only assume that My case was low priority since I was a student and they never bothered which is not a good thing.

Also she said she would be willing to sign a written receipt but would this stand up against the CSA or in court as surly she could just deny that she signed it?

FBaby

I can totally see how you would be anxious to call them, but do remember that if there is an open case, even if it is on standby and they are not doing anything, any arrears would been accruing regardless. What could have happened is that they tried to get in touch with you but somehow you never received any notification and in absence of any response, they assessed you with what they knew, that is that you were a student and therefore owed nothing. I don't think it is a case of paying nothing because you were a student, but not earning enough (I think it is under £100 a week) and therefore exempt. The thing is, now that you are earning a decent salary, you are more vulnerable. She might have contacted them and again they might have written to you, but if they are still using the same address, you will not have received it. In the meantime, they could decide to assess you at what your ex is telling them you are earning, so whilst you are paying her, the arrears are accruing. You then risk having to prove that what you paid her was for maintenance, or risk that what you've been given her is not close to what they have assessed you out.

By not contacting them, you are just risking waking up one day with the big shock of £1000s of arrears just like a number of nrps have found themselves here. You are so much better knowing exactly where you stand and dealing with whatever you find out as soon as possible. And you never know, you might discover than your ex claimed she didn't know who the father of the children was and they never pursued it (would be strange but not impossible) so there is indeed no case, or there is one but they assessed you are having to pay nothing in which case your ex might agree for the case to be closed and an arrangement be put in place to pay her privately (but with receipts).

If it is bad news and there are arrears, you are better facing up to it and dispute them as soon as possible. The longer you leave it the worse it will get.

FBaby

recci wrote: »

Also she said she would be willing to sign a written receipt but would this stand up against the CSA or in court as surly she could just deny that she signed it?

If there are no csa case (because there never was or because you get confirmation that she has closed it), you are not facing having to justify yourself to the csa. They have enough to do chasing those who do have open cases. Court would not look into this, she would be told to apply to the csa if she wasn't getting any maintenance from you.

PreludeForTimeFeelers

recci wrote: »

No the CSA has never been in touch with me ever! But I think she said she had to give them my name at one point in order to claim income support hence why I was wandering why they have never got round to contacting me.

Surly the CSA could still contact me at any time and try to claim that I have never paid a penny because I have n proof? There seems to be an abundance of such horror stories.

To be honest, it sounds as though it's in your best interest to call them, just to set your mind at ease one way or the other. If she's never opened a case then it's down to the two of you to agree whatever payments are to be made between yourselves. If there was a case, and they've just not successfully traced you, then it's best to speak to them to get whatever payments you have made taken into account.

Give their Options service a call tomorrow, and explain that you don't think there's a case, but that you want to double check.

recci

One thing is for sure, she knew exactly where I lived and the only change of address was from the house I shared with her back to where I am currently so the CSA would have had to issues tracing me. I guess I will have to call them but I am going to ask her more details first...thats assuming she gives me a straight answer.

13Kent

Maybe she has an overdraft or something so any money paid into the bank would just be swallowed up with debts owed, or she doesn't want to declare the income for some reason. I would be VERY wary about paying cash, even voluntary payments into a bank account have to be proved to be for child maintenance,or the csa won't consider them - as my husband discovered to his cost after being landed with thousands of pounds of arrears for payments he had already paid.

recci

One more question, In the off-chance there was a case against me and she was claiming income support up until the rules changed where csa payments no longer have any bearing on income support. Would the csa come after me for money due after the date in which the rules changed ? This is assuming that she would tell them I have been paying her.