17 year old kicked out - advice needed urgently

jane130

My sons girlfriend has been kicked out of home by her mum - its the result of ongoing family problems .

I have said she can come and stay with us for a while , but i need some advice for her really .

She is in college studying full time , she has a part time job for pocket money. Her mum is in reciept of benefits for her including child tax credits and Child benefit .

if the girl contacts the benefits agency can she get any benefits for herself ? she is thinking she is going to have to quit college and get a full time job to support herself which will be a huge waste as she is doing really well and has big plans .

Her mother won't let her have her mobile or clothes - can she get any help with replacing her clothes at all .

I will help her as much as we can but we aren't well off ourselves and only just manage to make ends meet .

would really appreciate any advice you can give

Dontknowanymore

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/YoungPeople/index.htm
Is there a connexions in your area?

Lady_gaga

does your son work at all or is he also at college? as they are boyfriend and girlfriend and now living together under the same roof, if he's working would he not be expected to help support her?

*Chattie*

The finance department in her college will help her sort it out.

crofton23

i'm with Chattie on this one, most colleges and uni's have a fantastic welfare section..they can also access emergency funds, dependant on her circ's.
good luck hope you get sorted....its a very noble thing to do...however have you thought about what will happen if your son splits from the girl...bit like the poster...go to think on the line puppies and homeless girlfriends are for life not just for christmas !

SuziQ

Do you know her mum? I realise it's a big ask, but if it were me I would be tempted to contact her and act as an intermediary. Obviously I have no idea what the issues have been in the family, but it would take something enormous, even illegal to make me evict one of my children. I wonder if this woman realises how much money she will lose (that wouldn't be my main concern but it might have an influence on her!) I hate to think of a 17 year old having to fend for themselves like this, heaven knows it's hard enough for adults!

eskimo26

This essentually hinges on how permanent or temporary the situation is, if she is unlikely to go back then the Mother will lose the benefits that require a child to be living with her.

Their was a similar post recently by a woman who was assuming care for her son's girlfriend as the relationship had broken down with the family and she wouldn't be returning.

Will you be assuming care for her on a long term basis, i believe this may entitle you to claim the benefits she can no longer claim. What you need to know is how does a person go about claiming benefits for a child that is not related, assuming they will be taking on their care. (IF this is what you wish to do.)

As i said i've seen similar threads but i can't find them for the life of me but no doubt the eople in the know will be able to answer my questions.

Oldernotwiser

Unless you suspect violence or abuse on the part of the parent, I'd be very loathe to come between a 17 year old and her family.

Lady_gaga

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Unless you suspect violence or abuse on the part of the parent, I'd be very loath to come between a 17 year old and her family.

In my experience, when in a situation like this, 17 year olds have a tendancy to over egg the pudding when telling others what's happened.
I'd be very surprised if any mother would not even let their child have access to their own clothes etc.

I'd be urging her to make contact and try and resolve it.

jane130

thankyou for all the advice including those that PM'd me .

The girl in question is very level headed and sensible , I am sure she will think it through fully and try to resolve the issue but I won't see a young person out of the street and have offered her our sofa or a blow up bed in my daughters room if she doesn't want to share with my son ( who is 16 and at college himself)

I am just letting her know atm that she has somewhere to go until she gets herself straight and give her advice to help her not give up on her dreams if she can't sort things out . Ideally being with us would be short term as we really don't have room for it to be a permanent thing

Its a big complicated situation that i am not interfering with just being there for her if she needs help

Oldernotwiser

jane130 wrote: »

The girl in question is very level headed and sensible , I am sure she will think it through fully and try to resolve the issue but I won't see a young person out of the street and have offered her our sofa or a blow up bed in my daughters room if she doesn't want to share with my son ( who is 16 and at college himself)

Bloomin' 'eck! If my 17 year old daughter walked off after having had a strop ( which might well be the case) I'd be furious with any mother who behaved like this!

Have you actually been in touch with her mother yet?

Rather than seeing her on the street, you may well be prolonging a family problem and leading to a family's destruction, albeit for the best of motives. You cannot say that you're not interfering by your actions.