Job Issues

Mistral001

As others have said sometimes you get a bit stale in a job and you have to move on. The OP is obviously a very capable person, however, I think you have to set goals for yourself in the new job.

Think about where you want to go with it. Do you want to have others around you working as hard as you in 5 years time? Do you want only part time or see it develpoing into full time? It is all to easy in a new job just to get your head down and stuck in without looking around and thinking about what your goals are.

Mrs_Optimist

Had yet anotheer sleepless night, been up since 3am. I handed in my notice yesterday. Don't have a definate job offer in place and DH is currently still unemployed. It sounds mad on paper, I know but it has been a build up of things and several run ins with one of my bosses on Monday tipped me over the edge. My bosses are devastated (my immediate boss actually welled up with tears when I told him I was leaving). They have offered more money, more hours, whatever I want really. And there is the dilemma. I don't actually want more money - it has never been about that for me, there are more important things in life. BUT I am mulling over the idea of reducing my hours to work 3 days instead of 4, reducing my salary accordingly, but also relinquishing some (lots) of the minor taks that had slowly piled up on me over time.

But then there is the option of another job opportunity in the months to come. They are holding fire on formally offering me the job at this stage because my current employers are a client of theirs and they are concerned that the work will be withdrawn (which I understand, and may be a possibility).

DH is still looking for work and is hopeful that something will crop up shortly. We have enough savings to cover us for the next 12 months so we have time to find something new. No debts apart from mortgage. But then in the current climate is it better the devil you know? I can't sleep, have a permanent headache with the stress of it all. What would you do? Leave or negotiate on your terms?

Emmzi

I would negotiate. And fast before they get fixed in their mind that you are going and plan for you not being there!

People are sometimes unemployes for more than 12 months. I would stick it out until Dh has a job. I would not be able to sleep otherwise.

Sambucus_Nigra

I would tell them the reasons you have resigned and negotiate. Why wouldn't you?

ceridwen

Emmzi wrote: »

I would negotiate. And fast before they get fixed in their mind that you are going and plan for you not being there!

People are sometimes unemployes for more than 12 months. I would stick it out until Dh has a job. I would not be able to sleep otherwise.

x that by two.

I wouldnt personally dream of walking out of a job in the current economic climate - no matter what was going on in it. So - negotiate.

I've had to put up with a LOT in my job and it's been very frequently the case that I've longed to just "grab my things and go" and I've had to remind myself very firmly that the alternative to "summoning up my last ounce of willpower and staying" would be to be on the Dole, trying to survive on a measly £67 per week and being expected by the DWP to apply for a lot of jobs I wouldnt even consider and hoping that no-one actually gave me one of those jobs.

What I do find now - with everything I've survived in my job - is a degree of pride in myself. The reason for this being that I am well aware that the vast majority of people wouldnt have had as much "staying power" as I have and even fought to keep the job when need be. That means I've got "guts" and a lot more of them than most - so I'm proud of myself for that fact anyway.

So - maybe you could try asking a good friend ITRW to be totally straight with you and telling you what she sees happening according to "which road you follow" on this. That is - dont pick a friend who will "tell you what you want to hear". Pick one of the "tell it like it is" type. See what she/he says. My suggestion would be to choose a male friend when asking about jobs, rather than a female one. Men and women will think differently on this in all probability and it will take a man most likely to be thinking in "breadwinner" terms. I've certainly found myself that its MUCH more likely to be men that understand the job dilemmas I have - because I am a "breadwinner" and so are they.

Nuclear_Themes

This isn't aimed at your problem but rather your husbands. Someone mentioned printing flyers so I thought I'd throw in my little bit. Sites like myhammer (there are a few others but this came first to mind based on experience) will allow him to sign up and bid on jobs in the area. Free members are a little more limited but be careful if you do decide to sign up; going premium carries with it a contract for 3-12 months.

A relative of mine didn't have much success with that but I suppose it all comes down to what you're willing to put in and how open-minded you are. Anyway hope it helps.

Mrs_Optimist

Thanks to all for taking time to post. I feel that I have made the right decision. At the moment I have the best of both worlds because my notice is running for 3 months, but they want me to mull over what I would like for them to convince me to stay and are not putting pressure on me.

My immediate boss indicated, when I asked him, what he would do if I were his daughter asking his advice, and he said he would tell me that I should leave. He wants me to stay purely for selfish reasonss he confessed, and I knew that anyway. He is well aware that I am under a lot of pressure and am expected to do more than most. I have stuck it out for nearly 18 years so I feel I have more than done my time and certainly have more staying power than most.


DH has applied for a few jobs and is waiting to hear so I think I will leave things as they are at present, tell my bosses I am mulling it over as they requested, and see what happens in the next few weeks. If DH gets a job then without question I will go, but if I need to stay on for a few months longer (my boss suggested 6) then it will be on my terms. The job I do is pretty specialist and there isn't anyone in the office who can do it - hence the backlog of work when I am away. I am not too concerned that they will reploace me in that time as they simply are not that geared up and motivated!

I appreciate all responses, they have given me food for thought.

Mistral001

Leaving a job without a definite job offer is very risky obviously, but even if you are willing to take the risk, it will always have an after-taste to it in your own mind and in the minds of your employer and other staff. I have done it and even though I did it I suppose before I went insane, I now realise after talking to several people and ex-colleagues that it was maybe not the wisest thing I ever did. The firm I left was a small firm which from what you have written here, appears to be similar to the firm you work for.

Often when working for a small firm, you can get into what I suppose you could call aspects of a substitute family. Often that can be a very beneficial and attractive to people while they are younger. But as you get older and priorities change it can present problem.

I think what you could be going through is a rather sudden realisation that your real family needs you at the minute and this other "family" (the firm) has gotten too much of your attention for far too long and this has perhaps caused a fairly knee jerk reaction.

However, that does not mean that you should leave your present job in the way that you are intending. Give yourself time to think it through and look for more options. Perhaps you need a reduction in hours so you can spend more time getting your husband established, or just an increase in pay to help out with the drop in the family income due to H's unemployment. If there is a serious long-term problem with your present career and this firm, look at dealing with it in a few months.

Mrs_Optimist

Thank you for your thoughts Mistral001. They make a lot of sense and you are right that it is a small firm so the family aspect rings true. They are more than willing to offer me more money - they have stated that (as I knew they would). But I am already on very good earnings for what I do compared to other firms so that isn't an appeal to me, mad I know, but thats the truth of it!. I am going to let my notice run and see what happens over the next few weeks. I am supposed to finish in 3 months and my bosses want to have a meeting with me to try and persuade me to stay, or at least finally sit up and take notice of what the problems are (I have informed them in the past that I was expected to do too much) that convinced me to go to begin with. I am mulling over dropping my hours and workload to be able me to do what I want to do in the office and to free up time to see my parents, friends etc and monitoring on a rolling monthly basis, so they know that, if they start pressuring me again I will leave in 4 weeks, not 12. MMmm

SandC

I think you are doing the right thing. If the other company had made you an offer in writing then it would be cut and dried, but having that 3 month's notice will give you time and space.

I'm so glad that your employers are now realising your worth. When you've worked for a smaller firm for many years it's often not realised just how much you do because you have become more and more efficient over the years. The part time issue is also worth bearing in mind - I've seen it happen so many times that basically you are just doing the same job but in less hours for less money. So never feel that your salary is too high there. I will give an example. We had someone on maternity leave recently who worked part time hours and just got on with her thing. Her replacement worked with her for 6 weeks before she left, worked full time hours while she was off and still never got to a stage where she was completing the work to the same standard and obviously nowhere near the timescale. There are many people working like this, under the radar, appreciated by their immediate boss but not noticed so much elsewhere, getting on with it rather than going around shouting about their vast workload and all that goes with it.

Anyway, off soapbox there....

Keep us posted!