High Functioning autism in 3 1/2 and private education

sunshune

Thank you all for your help

JC9297

From what you have said about your son I think it is highly unlikely he would be statemented. Even if he is, it will be very difficult to argue that he has additional needs but that the school you want has no specialist provision, whereas the LA may offer schools with specialist provision in autism. I think if you want him to go to that school you should concentrate your efforts on working with the school, rather than the LA, to make it happen.

lallysmum

Hi

Just a quick note re him going to an ordinary school. My son (4) sounds very, very like your little man. He could read just about everything by the time he was 2.5, could spell, count.. was/is off the charts clever. He was diagnosed as ASD in July this year. He didn't have any real conversational skills, just spoke in statements or parroted words. He had no ability to play with toys correctly - he had his own way and simply didn't see the point in imaginative play, would much rather do the real thing (he got so annoyed with the woman pretending to light a candle during one of his assessment sessions that he got a lighter out of my bag to actually light it, lol) - and no way of properly interacting with same age children. It was almost as if he didn't notice them at all.

I decided to send him to a normal primary school, but they are aware he is ASD and have put special measures in place. For example, although he could read all the books, we weren't sure if he was understanding the things he read.. no point in being able to parrot facts if you don't take in what you're reading.

Honestly? Even after a month of school he seems so different. His speech is still delayed, but he can tell me what he did at school that day, he gives me alphabetical lists of all the "friends" in his class (loves that there are three H names, lol)
His teacher has given him special work, currently doing Year 1 work with a view to starting Year 2 stuff after Christmas, but they are also encouraging him/showing him how to play.

And just a little tip, you know your son better than anyone. If the professionals say something you don't agree with, don't take it to heart. My boy is a wonderful, happy, gorgeous little one. I said this to the speech therapist who said "Well yes, but maybe he just doesn't know that he isn't happy, or how to express that." She nearly broke my heart the horrible woman. So yeah, they say anything you don't agree with, don't listen to them!

JC9297

lallysmum wrote: »

Hi

And just a little tip, you know your son better than anyone. If the professionals say something you don't agree with, don't take it to heart. My boy is a wonderful, happy, gorgeous little one. I said this to the speech therapist who said "Well yes, but maybe he just doesn't know that he isn't happy, or how to express that." She nearly broke my heart the horrible woman. So yeah, they say anything you don't agree with, don't listen to them!

What a ridiculous thing to say! To say that he doesn't know he is unhappy or can't express it - well newborn babies do it and we as parents interpret it.

Why shouldn't he be happy? Did she think he couldn't be happy because he is different to other children? My son is eighteen with very limited verbal communication, but we can tell that he is happy because he certainly let's us know if he isn't.

lallysmum

Honestly, I was furious. Ok, he doesn't have the best communication skills, but he cries when he's sad and laughs when he's happy. Hmph.

A few people have said she may have been trying to say that he might be aware that he's different from everyone else but can't express how that upsets him, but even that I think is frankly, not for her to comment on. Especially as she's met him twice, for 30 mins a go.. that doesn't make her an expert on him.

Sorry.. I'm ranting. I, personally, don't see anything "wrong" for want of a better word with him. He's happy, healthy and a little ray of sunshine. *blows raspberry at all assessment type people*

sunshune

lallysmum wrote: »

Honestly, I was furious. Ok, he doesn't have the best communication skills, but he cries when he's sad and laughs when he's happy. Hmph.

A few people have said she may have been trying to say that he might be aware that he's different from everyone else but can't express how that upsets him, but even that I think is frankly, not for her to comment on. Especially as she's met him twice, for 30 mins a go.. that doesn't make her an expert on him.

Sorry.. I'm ranting. I, personally, don't see anything "wrong" for want of a better word with him. He's happy, healthy and a little ray of sunshine. *blows raspberry at all assessment type people*

Hi Lally

sorry i only just saw your post. Thank you for your comments. It is so nice in a bittersweet way to know there are other people going through the same thing as me. What part of the country are you? I'm in bedfordshire

I would be livid too if that woman said that about my little boy. I can kind of see what she is saying but it was worded very badly and not her place to say. My son only knows the opposites to things as he has become obsessed and we have taught him how to read facial expressions and are trying to relate it to emotions. So now he can tell us when he is upset or sad, or hurt (this is a bit iffy though as internal pain he has a bit of trouble with) but we have come on so far in the last 3 months it is amazing. His improvements have all been down to us as a family and not outside help.

Can I ask how you managed to get your child to understand what he has read? Like you said there is no point reading if they do not understand what is written. With my son the joy was in the reading not understanding or able to relate it to other things in his everyday life or how to discuss it. Now he is a bit better when he reads something i try and relate it to something he has done or seen. I really need to sort out his social stories.

lallysmum

Hi.. I missed your reply too,lol

My son doesn't seem to understand pain either. He's ok if he can see an "ouch" but has never yet told me if he has a headache, stomachache etc. I don't think he reads facial expressions properly, but has definitely got a *need* for me to be happy. If he's ever caught me crying, he gets very upset until I'm happy again. Actually, just thought he never smiles for a camera, he says the word smile, but never does it. We get a lot of open mouthed pictures!

And I know exactly what you mean about bittersweet. It's almost nice to know there are others going through the same thing.

Re the reading.I started off with far too simple books. Or even wrote stuff out myself, eg The boy threw a ball. And then he'd try to act out a boy throwing a ball. I try to get him to read the voices parts how he thinks the person saying the words would sound. We get high pitched for girls and deep for boys, and weird screeching voice for anyone else. I talk endlessly about the stories, and see if he can answer questions about what happened, even if he only shows me the page relating to what I asked. I try to do things that we've read about in stories and see if he can guess which story we're acting out.

I don't know how much difference it makes tbh, but I do feel that it is helping.

I haven't yet found the "professionals" to be any help. They keep telling me to reduce his language, ie Alexander stop instead of Alexander would you stop doing that please? He understands the latter perfectly so why I would treat him like a dog is beyond me. They are currently working on a First and Then approach as he likes to do what he likes to do.. and want me to to take pictures of everything I do so that I can show him a picture of Tesco (for eg) and a picture of a park, so he knows.. well first and then. But I do that all the time anyway, without the pictures. First have a bath, and then bed. etc.

Oh, what do I know? I'm just his mother I just ignore them and carry on. He got his first school report today, everything academic is beyond his peers, and it's only in playing that he's behind. He's 4! And an almost only child (his sister is 15) so doesn't much opportunity to play with other children his age.. he'll get there.

I hope everything goes well for you and your little boy, whatever decision you make re schooling. Sorry I waffled so much!

sunshune

hi

Thanks for your post. You little on sounds so much like my son. You are also doing the same things we are. We take pictures of things he does and get him to explain what is happening in the picture. Also, when we do an activity at the weekend we take a picture and then take it to nursery and he has to explain to the teacher what he is doing. We also give him a message to tell his teacher every morning and she gives him one to tell us when we pick him up. He is getting a lot better.

Like you said, what do you know you are just his mother ;oD but i know that at the minute I know what is best for him and right now i am telling the nursery what to do in order to help him which is good. I have bought the carol gray social stories book which i am going to start using tomorrow.

Hope all works out with you and your little one too.