Disgruntled teen re EMA payments for 6th form/college

hypno06

Given the amount that she is currently earning, and the amount that you already contribute to her everyday expenses, I do not think she has anything to complain about!

I don't necessarily think you need to be completely open about your finances, but to remind her that the value of money is a lesson that is better learnt now than later in life when it is much harder to get out of problems.

Stick to your guns and say what you have told us - just because you have decent jobs, does not mean you have an extra £120 a month spare. Perhaps give examples of what you have contributed to over the last 12 months, college trips etc.

If the amount you spend on her expenses comes to around £120 a month then perhaps offer her one, or the other, but not a combination of both.

Gemmzie

I use my EMA for petrol money and expenses tied to my course, wish it could be free spending money!

I do feel bad for the ones that can't get it but it's wrong that so many see it as beer money or similar.

bald_ade

To me the entire idea of EMA is completely wrong. Just because you earn over £30k a year doesn't mean that you have spare cash to give to your kids! It's the same with Uni loans/fees - my dad earns just over the threshold for fees, and so that makes me around two grand worse off than those who earn just under the threshold! Yet I don't ask for anything and he pays my bus fare (I live at home), but thats it.

I was thinking the other day - lets say that you have two kids at college one at Uni, and daddy goes to work and earns £20k a year, mummy stays at home. If mummy was to get a job earning £10k a year, after tax, EMA, Uni fees, other benefits etc she'd only be about £3k a year better off - or £1.50 an hour! Doesn't do much for our work ethic as a country does it?

The whole "Means testing" rubbish makes me very angry. You have £50,000 debt Kazl - why can't they take that into account?

I'm at Uni now, but when I was at college I worked weekends and one evening flipping burgers. EMA wasn't available then and I wouldn't have got it anyway.

I think that your kid is old enough to understand debt and the value of money, and if you explain it to her I think she will understand.

Blame the Government for assuming that those earning 30k a year are rich and awash with spare cash. They are not.

Red_Fraggle_3

Explain your situation my DD is 12 and knows our position - your DD is expecting you to be ythe same as you were pre lbm - so unless you explain she will never understand - she is old enough

dumpy

I would explain the situation you are in to her. Sit her down and say "we overspent and this is the result". She'll probably be really shocked but it might stop her getting herself into debt in the future.

How many people say on here "I wish someone had explained this to me when I was young."

My mum was always saying "we can't afford that", or "if you want it save up". It really helped me, as my finances are fine. I wish my OH had had the same experience as he is in a real mess.......

swampduck

My partner and I had the same problem when my daughter was going through college. We gave her (like others on this thread) her CB, her bus pass and other requirements for college were paid for by us. Obviously clothes etc and food to make butties at home - while she was studying we also paid for. Anything over and above that she had to earn - and she did earn with 2/3 jobs on the go.
She learnt to budget and if her money went on frivolous things - she soon realised she'd be short until the next pay day (so to speak). She is now living with a boyfriend and paying a mortgage - who says students cant learn to budget!?! By all means - give help and support but dont make them incapable of thinking and budgeting for themselves. If she were to have a greater understanding of how hard it is for Mum and dad to budget on a limited budget - she might be more tolerant when she's short of a few quid herself.

Swampy

plumduff-2

I am in similar situation, son does not qualify for EMA either.. and I am struggling to give money plus needed money to give to 15 year old as well..

My Q..? How did you get her to get a blooming job... my son asks me for nothing but I want - no need - him to get a part time job...! Aaaarrrggghhh...!

Verbatim

plumduff-2 wrote:

I am in similar situation, son does not qualify for EMA either.. and I am struggling to give money plus needed money to give to 15 year old as well..

My Q..? How did you get her to get a blooming job... my son asks me for nothing but I want - no need - him to get a part time job...! Aaaarrrggghhh...!

Me too! My soon to be 18 yr old shows no sign of wanting a job except babysitting when a neighbour asks. We don't give her pocket money and she knows we've been trying to pay off cc's at the same time as our income has taken a dive. Really I shouldn't complain as she's very undemanding!

Cerenia

When I was 16 (19 now), I paid for everything bar rent, although I did help with jobs and helped purchase food and household items. I was 3 months too old for ema in my last year of college, would have been entitiled to over a grand if I had been younger, typical, but i'm glad i helped more when i was a little younger - helped me learn the value of money, and to be more efficient with money!