Mouche’s adventures with her first mortgage (while coping with her first baby)

ljaneyr

mouche wrote: »

Janey...I love you. What a lovely, encouraging, sympathetic message. It has really made me feel better. There was a OnePoll survey today on 'little things that bring you happiness' and your message is exactly that for me today. Thank you.

I do work full time - working any fewer hours is not an option as my manager is flexible enough as it is. But I think your suggestion of a cleaner is excellent once we are back in the house.

You brought tears to my eyes! Thank you

I can't take any credit for the suggestion of a cleaner though. My cousin suggested it to me back when I first moved in with my OH. We were both working very long hours with long commutes and didn't have any time for ourselves. Although we didn't get a cleaner, the idea that you are buying back time for yourself has really stuck with me.

Look after yourselves,

Janey x

Goldiegirl

Hello, I've just been reading your diary - what an awful thing to happen - I hope you'll be back in your own home soon.

No wonder you are feeling a bit fraught at the moment - for many people, what has happened would finish them off completely, so I think you are pretty amazing to be looking beyond the current situation. And also very sensible to have some short term, achieve able goals for the week.

I think you should give yourself a pat on the back!:)

Pearla*Merle

Mouche, that post was lovely, it sounds like you've got a very clear idea of what you want to do and where you want (and all the mouche family!) to be.

I think you should either print that post out or put a link to it somewhere where you'll see it often. Reminding yourself of your intentions/goals often (especially when you're feeling tired, or when things are a bit fraught) will really help you shift perspective when needs be and/or feel like you're moving forward with all things positive.

I did they 'little things that bring you happiness' poll as well

poorbutrich

mouche wrote: »

In the short term, here are my goals for the week:
1. Talk to OH and take things further based on what he says
2. Call loss adjustor and ask if she has approved our contents to be replaced yet.

Hi Mouche
Hopefully getting all of your thoughts down and out of your head will help you sleep better tonight! I think you guys are incredible working so many hours with a LO - but pushing yourself to the edge is not sustainable and I think the dishwasher incident might have a silver lining in that it underlines that there's no room for slack in your routine.
I know you say you can't work fewer hours, but could you work from home for a day or two to ease pressure on pick up?

The pilates will definitely help! Hope you're all ok xxx

mouche

Goldiegirl wrote: »

No wonder you are feeling a bit fraught at the moment - for many people, what has happened would finish them off completely, so I think you are pretty amazing to be looking beyond the current situation.

Thank you! What a lovely vote of confidence. I have to confess a few tears have escaped of late but life does go on and hopefully things will get better. My MIL believes in horoscopes and has kindly informed us that the stars say we are going through a bad patch and it won't get better for another 3 months. Why she thought that would be a helpful thing to say I do not know! :mad:

mouche

Pearla*Merle wrote: »

I think you should either print that post out or put a link to it somewhere where you'll see it often. Reminding yourself of your intentions/goals often (especially when you're feeling tired, or when things are a bit fraught) will really help you shift perspective when needs be and/or feel like you're moving forward with all things positive.

I did they 'little things that bring you happiness' poll as well

Fantastic idea PM! I was feeling a bit down this morning and I read through my post and all the replies and already I am feeling more positive.

mouche

poorbutrich wrote: »

Hi Mouche
I think you guys are incredible working so many hours with a LO - but pushing yourself to the edge is not sustainable and I think the dishwasher incident might have a silver lining in that it underlines that there's no room for slack in your routine.
I know you say you can't work fewer hours, but could you work from home for a day or two to ease pressure on pick up?

Oh pbr...it's true isn't it? There is no room for slack and when anything goes wrong the plates all come crashing down. I do work from home a few times a month so it isn't quite so bad - but I miss so much work due to LO being ill - my manager likes me to be in office whenever I can. But certainly something to think about.

mouche

I'm starting to feel like Calamity Jane now - LO has developed quite a bad infection of his ear lobe and glands. The doctor thinks it is due to his eczema getting infected. he has been given antibiotics but as the hotel room doesn't have a fridge, we have been trying to keep the antibiotics cool in the ice bucket (for non LO-owners: antibiotics for children are liquid and need to be kept in the fridge) but this morning we found that the bottle had tipped over in the (now melted) ice and water had got into the bottle. Fortunately we had a second bottle in the nursery fridge so we were able to give it to him there but god only knows what we will do tonight. Beg the hotel to keep it in their fridge I guess. And I have to go to the doctor again tomorrow to get a prescription for more as it will not now last the long weekend.

That's assuming LO is getting better - the nursery rang me yesterday to ask me to take him to the doctor again (he'd gone the night before) as the swelling was getting worse. The doctor said the antibiotics need to be taken for 48 hours before they can take effect but to take him to A&E for intravenous antibiotic if he's no better after 48 hours. That will be tonight so hoping and praying it takes effect. The only bright side is that he is okay in himself.

I am also very upset with OH for various things and all in all have been one of those embarrassing women who weeps silently on the train (though it has resulted in me getting lots of room on the commute!)

But I have achieved a few things from my list:

1. Got a list of items to be replaced from the loss adjustor and provided estimates to replace all 119 of them. She now has to go through and approve (or not) but at least the job is done from my end. Also managed to get OH to send the photos of the damage to the dishwasher company - my garbled understanding is that they are the ones who have to pay for a replacement dishwasher.
   
2. Had the chat with OH - he wasn't as impressed with my tremendous sacrifice as I had hoped and said he didn't actually want to work all those hours and he was hoping that after he's been here a year or two he might find a less stressful position. The trouble is all hotels are cost-cutting like mad and are therefore unable to attract good people in junior positions (as they work them like donkeys and pay a pittance). Result is senior people have to cover for the lack of juniors meaning long hours and stress. And getting told - well you're a highly paid head of department so you are expected to put in extra hours when needed. (He's not that highly paid!). But anyway, I have told him what I am prepared to do and it's up to him to decide how to handle his work.

All this stress has meant I haven't been able to concentrate on my actual work and am now falling behind. As anything I post on MSE is more likely to get done, here is my list till the Easter Break.

1. Complete my work project that is due on Monday.
2. Find a way to give LO his medicine safely.
3. Hold on to temper with both hands where OH is concerned.

mouche

P.S - The health/ life issue I was avoiding has sorted itself out. One bit of good news anyway!

ljaneyr

Hi Mouche

I'm sending lots of virtual hugs your way and hope your LO starts responding to his medicine soon. Life is not treating you very well at the moment but you're doing really well just to keep going. If your OH is anything like mine, he probably did take in more of what you were saying than it seemed at the time. He will be more able to see your point of view when he is less tired/stressed himself. They just don't see things the same way sometimes!

As to weeping on the train - I am prone to post-row weepiness myself, but then so are most people, so I wouldn't worry too much. I think you need to add something for yourself to your list, like 'long hot bath' or 'gentle walk in the park'.

Keep posting, even when you're feeling down, because we're here to lend an ear and help if we can

Janey x