Mouche’s adventures with her first mortgage (while coping with her first baby)

poorbutrich

Hope you guys are ok - not great living in a hotel, but at least you're dry.


Hope the house gets sorted and that OH gets a day off soon! Amazing that you're still thinking about overpaying at this awkward time - very inspirational!

ljaneyr

Hi Mouche

I have just finished reading your diary so thought I would de-lurk to say hi and I hope things get sorted for you quickly so you can get back to normal quickly.

Well done on the progress you have made with your mortgage! I dream of a time when I can start overpaying - when we are no longer saving or renovating

Janey

mouche

kirstypark...yes he's a clever little munchkin isn't he? :P

pbr...you're right, we are safe and dry and the insurance has been very good so far in sorting things out. I am grateful really. Hope all is well in your world.

janey...thanks for dropping in and for your concern. Read my whole diary - that's a scary thought - you must be comatose by now! I had a hunt for your diary but it looks like you don't have one. Your signature is very intriguing!

Is it okay to have a bit of a moan? Readers, please look away now! I really, really wish life would stop testing me and give me a bit of a break now. Since the end of Feb, I have had LO being ill for over a week, being ill myself, OH being overworked and exhausted, a fire, more overworked OH, a headache that lasted all of last week and didn't respond to painkillers (thankfully, much improved today), a dodgy tummy, LO having temperature again, all this amongst deadlines at work which I am struggling to meet thanks to the general ill health everywhere and need to be the one responsible at home. Plus, some very bad news from home that has made me miserable and another potential health/ life issue that I am avoiding thinking about.

Please God, if you are out there, let LO be well, let me be well, I can cope with the rest.

Moan over.

mouche

Back in office today after *another* dodgy tummy yesterday. Must be all this eating out we are doing. A colleague/ friend has kindly agreed to let us use her kitchen this weekend so hopefully LO will get some proper food after a long time.

Building works continue - we've chosen a radically different colour scheme so hope it all looks nice once done. It looks like we won't be back home as soon as we had hoped as some of the materials are taking a while to be supplied.

Just want to go home really.

On the plus side, we managed to post off the new fixed rate mortgage application so hopefully we will get that rate. OnePolling is going well and I am just under £5 from claiming my next £40.

Apologies to everyone whose diaries I follow - have been trying to squeeze in personal computer time into office hours plus it's really busy at work at the moment so haven't really had time to do more than read and run. Normal service will hopefully be resumed once we are back home.

ljaneyr

mouche wrote: »

kirstypark...yes he's a clever little munchkin isn't he? :P

pbr...you're right, we are safe and dry and the insurance has been very good so far in sorting things out. I am grateful really. Hope all is well in your world.

janey...thanks for dropping in and for your concern. Read my whole diary - that's a scary thought - you must be comatose by now! I had a hunt for your diary but it looks like you don't have one. Your signature is very intriguing!

Is it okay to have a bit of a moan? Readers, please look away now! I really, really wish life would stop testing me and give me a bit of a break now. Since the end of Feb, I have had LO being ill for over a week, being ill myself, OH being overworked and exhausted, a fire, more overworked OH, a headache that lasted all of last week and didn't respond to painkillers (thankfully, much improved today), a dodgy tummy, LO having temperature again, all this amongst deadlines at work which I am struggling to meet thanks to the general ill health everywhere and need to be the one responsible at home. Plus, some very bad news from home that has made me miserable and another potential health/ life issue that I am avoiding thinking about.

Please God, if you are out there, let LO be well, let me be well, I can cope with the rest.

Moan over.

Poor you Mouche! That lot definitely requires a moan :eek: It's difficult dealing with a couple of things at one time, but you've had a real run of bad luck. I'm sure you'll feel better when you get back home and start eating and resting properly again.

I don't have a diary yet but I've just been given a bit of a kick up the b@ckside by some helpful MFWs. I'm going to start it tomorrow after dithering for more than a year!

I hope you get things sorted and feel better soon

Janey

Greying_Pilgrim

Mouche - my dear girl, what an experience you have had! You appear to be coping admirably in a situation that could hit any one of us.

I'm sorry that it has happened - but I am so glad that you, OH and LO are safe. As you've described, everything else can be replaced or repainted

Here's hoping you are back into your own home soon.

Greying x

Pearla*Merle

Oh mouche, I'm so sorry to hear everything that's been happening. I'm sending huge big virtual feel better hugs your way. I've had a few rollercoaster months as well so I can only sympathise - life will surely bounce back into all good things soon, it's natural for there to be ebbs and flows so nice things should surely be just ahead.

Re: the health/life issue, are you able to get it looked into? I know for myself I always tend to ignore things, but it can be so draining to worry about unknowns (probably even worse than dealing with problems as they're actually occurring), so it might be worth trying to deal with it as it may not be as bad as you think (this has happened so many times with me ). *sends another virtual hug over*

I'm so shocked about the dishwasher and the subsequent stories about how dangerous they are, I had no idea it was such a common occurrence. :eek: Mr M always wants to use machines while we're in the house and I was never that bothered but dear me, I certainly won't be leaving them on now. :eek: I hope all the building/decorating work is moving on at a swift pace and you can all be home soon.

mouche

Thank you so much janey, GP and Pearla for your kind words. It has been a hard time but hopefully things will look up soon. It’s been such a lovely weekend weather-wise and we spent some time playing with LO outdoors.

I’ve got so many things in my head at the minute I’m going to use this diary-entry as a trying-to-sort-it-out outlet so apologies if it’s a bit involved. I need to clear my head and evolve a plan going forward or I won’t be able to focus on anything and I must do that.

OH has been like a bear with a sore head all weekend and I have to admit I gave as good as I got which might explain the fact that LO was hitting again this morning after being as good as gold for few weeks. If I step back and look at it, I think OH is overtired and stressed from work and from looking after LO when he is not working. I think this new job (he’s been there just over 4 months now) is a lot more work and responsibility for him and he is struggling to cope with it without putting in a lot more hours than he does now. When we were first married, he would work 72 hours + every week not including 2 hours of commuting 6 days a week. I wasn’t thrilled with it even then but with only myself to take care of, it was just something I had to accept. With LO, I expect a lot more time from OH and tend to nag him if he works late too many evenings a week or needs to work on the weekend. To be honest in his profession, I’m lucky he gets most weekends off and I should be grateful really. He was saying the other day that to get all his work done, he really needs to work 6.30-8 everyday instead of 8.30-5.30. He often works 8.30-8 even now but he does get grief from me about if it’s more than a few times a week.

So I think for both of our mental health and for LOs sake, I need to take more responsibility at home. I might wish for a husband who worked regular hours but that would mean wishing for someone who isn’t OH and I’m not at that stage (yet!). I will try to get some time alone with him tonight and tell him that if he needs to work late every night, he can do so with my blessings. I don’t want him to go in early as the buses are packed in the mornings and it’s really hard getting LO to nursery without a car. But if he can get in by 8.30 and then work till 10, hopefully that will be ok with him. How he will cope physically I don’t know but I can’t really help him on that front. And perhaps we can give each other an entire weekend morning off from childcare in return. Of course I will need to be aware and able to accept that ‘my’ weekend morning may be cancelled at short notice!

If he is happy with that, then I will need to use ‘my’ weekend morning doing something for myself. I’ve been thinking about what my priorities are this year and I think they are pretty clear:
1. Learn how to drive – I stopped lessons before Christmas and with one thing after another, never restarted them. I must pass my test by the end of the summer.
2. Improve my fitness level – A work survey has put my body age at 12 years older than my real age and I think it’s absolutely right. I have put on over 3 stone since I got married and have all kinds of aches and pains attributable to excess weight. (I wasn’t particularly slim when I got married but I’d be happy with that size now!). There is a Pilates class I could go to on a weekend morning and I’m much more likely to go in the summer than in the winter so it might become a habit if I start now.

There are many other things I would like to achieve this year but these are the most important and I think if I really focus on them, I might get somewhere. Just realigning myself mentally to be at peace with OHs working hours will also be a challenge to be honest so three goals is enough for me.

In the short term, here are my goals for the week:
1. Talk to OH and take things further based on what he says
2. Call loss adjustor and ask if she has approved our contents to be replaced yet.

Sorry for the ramble and thanks again to everyone who has commented. Your words really help me focus and calm down so THANK YOU.

ljaneyr

Hi Mouche

It can be so helpful to have goals and look towards the future when the present is not going so well. I can completely understand how you feel about your OH working so much and not being himself when he is at home. My OH is a builder; he often works really long hours and is exhausted when he gets home. I also know how easy it is to nag them about it because you are tired too.

Don't forget that you are both probably worn out by the situation at the moment. Am I right in thinking you work full-time too? That is tiring enough without a LO and a husband who isn't around to help out most of the time, so remember to look after yourself too. Pilates is a great idea and I find walking extremely good for my physical and emotional health. It just feels so good to get some fresh air especially as the weather gets warmer.

Is there anything else you could try to make things a bit easier for yourself and your family at the moment? Perhaps getting a cleaner in for a couple of hours a week, or working a few less hours yourself? It may not seem very mse but you are technically buying yourself some time to enjoy your family while LO is young. The way I understand the MFW life is that it's about balancing your quality of life now with the goal of mortgage freedom in the future.

I hope something I have said helps Mouche. Remember we are always here if you need to get your thoughts straight ...or just have an all out moan!

Janey

mouche

Janey...I love you. What a lovely, encouraging, sympathetic message. It has really made me feel better. There was a OnePoll survey today on 'little things that bring you happiness' and your message is exactly that for me today. Thank you.

I do work full time - working any fewer hours is not an option as my manager is flexible enough as it is. But I think your suggestion of a cleaner is excellent once we are back in the house.