Mouche’s adventures with her first mortgage (while coping with her first baby)

mouche

I thought I should report something MSE as well.

Big grocery shop last night as OH came home early. Mostly junk I’m afraid but have got soups for work lunches + OH has made me a big pie (6 portions) and two jacket potatoes so should be ok for work lunches for quite a while. We have also ended up with three boxes of ice cream and one box of ice cream cones thanks to LO. Fortunately he forgot about them on the way home so we have been able to hide them till the next treat time.

£1.50 on charity cake sale at work. 89p on choccie bar to cheer myself up.

Still no sign of OnePoll redemption.

If OH gets home on time today, we must book our holiday after LO goes to bed. We have left it very late already so must get it done.

Chores
Tuesday: Book holiday OR clear one shelf of study table
Wednesday: Post ebay parcel and visa papers; tidy downstairs and file post
Thursday: Clear out junk from bag/purse
Friday: Create listing for one item on ebay

Pearla*Merle

mouche wrote: »

otoo – you are absolutely right! Whenever I force myself to do something I enjoy even though I’m tired, I feel happier. Moping on the sofa thinking ‘I am so tired’ doesn’t seem to have that effect. So I will try to force myself to enjoy myself a bit more. After all, I do get 90 minutes between LO going to bed and my own bedtime – I will dedicate 30 minutes of that time to ME and so what if the ironing isn’t finished! I just stress myself our so much it’s stupid. The other day I was lying on the couch watching a favourite TV program while OH gave me a neck massage – bliss, right? But no, I was thinking ‘I should get up and list something on ebay or do some cross stitch’. I can’t even relax when I’m relaxing!

I wish I had some good advice, but I've no LO experience. Mine only comes from having an illness and being too fatigued to do anything and falling into that trap of thinking 'but I really should be doing that instead!' so never getting the rest I needed. Try and think of your Me Time as utterly essential to your health and well-being. It will take a while to fully relax into it but do persevere, it'll be so worth it in the end. Cleaning really is overrated

But it’s so nice to know I’m not the only one struggling with this. I see my perfectly groomed, perfectly dressed friends posting on Facebook about going out to dinner or going to the gym and I think – ‘What have you done with your children?! And where do you find the energy?’ And on the other hand there’s me who refuses to allow OH to post pics of her on Facebook because I look so fat and frumpy – and then I get angry with OH because his Facebook movie has no pictures of me! I’m so glad I have MSE and you two to keep me sane.

Social media is so hard, I used to be (well, still am to an extent) around it all the time for work and you start to notice how much people exaggerate the truth, or at least try and make their lives appear much more 'full' of this, that or the other... a lot of it can be an act. Or if you're feeling low you see a snapshot and think 'it must be like that all the time for them!' but often it isn't, they're often trying to convince others they're in control or are something they're not, in the real world the interaction would be much more natural but with social media it's so utterly in your face, it takes the form of advertising rather than sharing really. I find it really hard to think straight with this stuff, so have just had to start cutting out things like FB from my day. There are a few friends I really want to keep up with and then I'll maybe go on and search for their pages on there, but even then... it's such a hard one to navigate because it is so insidious. You feel like you're missing out if you're not drinking from it every day, that's what I find hard to deal with but am slowly, ssslllloooowwwwlllyyy getting there!

mouche

Pearla*Merle wrote: »

with social media it's so utterly in your face, it takes the form of advertising rather than sharing really.

You are so right Pearla – I wonder why I didn’t see that for myself. I’ve never been into Facebook very much and I never post updates or photos myself but have got sucked into checking it several times a day now that I have a smartphone with the app on it. At first I just wanted to see what people were saying about LO in the photos OH posts on his account (OH is addicted to Facebook) but then it grew to checking for updates every few hours. It’s insidious how it creeps up on you and you are absolutely right – I don’t need to know that the kid I sat next to grade school has found a Bitcoin do I? Thank you for helping me realise that I was right in not being interested in social media all these years. I will try to go back to that state of mind and limit my FB checking – I can think of precisely two people I’d like to keep track of and I will just check their pages as you suggest.

Tootoo, pbr and Pearla, please consider yourself given a giant bear hug :grouphug: – you’ve helped make so many things clear to my parentitis-addled brain.

---

Onto MSE updates – OH has actually been home before LO bedtime for the past two days so things are better. I am worried about how much time LO is spending on the iPad though as we seem to switch it on whenever he refuses to do something (like get up in the morning). Will need to work on that – essentially it’s a case of not having the willpower to knowingly unleash the tantrums that ‘no’ brings. I know he needs us to set limits etc. but life is so much more peaceful if we let him be boss! I was a bit upset yesterday as I had to sign an incident report at nursery yesterday because LO scratched his friend (and admitted to doing it – the carers hadn’t seen it happen). Whenever I have asked him about the friend in the past few days, LO has been saying ‘<Friend name> stop kicking’, so he may have been provoked. But as kicking doesn’t leave a mark and scratching does, it was me who got the incident report. I was quite upset about it but a chat with my friend at work made me realise it’s quite common and nothing to get stressed about.

And that wasn’t an MSE update was it?!

Ok…ummmmmm….did a YouGov survey and some OnePoll ones – still no sign of the payout though.

Posted my ebay parcel – made £2.87 profit on it, yay!

Brought in and ate a yummy OH-made pie today. Also a pack of Pop Tarts which were seriously disappointing.

Attempted to book villa in Tuscany last night – spent 90 minutes browsing, sent out 3 enquiries and have received no replies. OH now wants to abandon Tuscany and go ‘somewhere else’. I can see this holiday happening in 2016 at this rate. Still, we had a nice time giggling over some of the villa pics.

That’s about it on the money-front.

Have had a brilliant idea on the teaching-LO-our-language front. Since he speaks English in nursery (with a very strong accent), we end up speaking to him in English as well so that he understands. But we really want him to learn our language as well. So next time I have some time (ha ha!) I will use some video editing software I have on my work laptop to record Peppa Pig episodes off YouTube and dub them myself in our language!

BlueMoo

BlueMoo…isn’t it terrible how manufacturers con us into parting with our money for their lovely looking bottles and jars of gunk? It’s all their fault!

:rotfl: Completely their Fault! Not ours at all for being gullible and seduced by pretty colours!


*****

Sorry to hear you have been struggling, I don't have any LO experience, but I think you need to allocate yourself 20mins a day where it is just you time. You could just have a nap, or do some sewing, or read one chapter of a book. The only rule is that it must be something for you, and not anything that has a 'productive'output (i.e. cleaning the fridge)

Pearla*Merle

mouche wrote: »

Have had a brilliant idea on the teaching-LO-our-language front. Since he speaks English in nursery (with a very strong accent), we end up speaking to him in English as well so that he understands. But we really want him to learn our language as well. So next time I have some time (ha ha!) I will use some video editing software I have on my work laptop to record Peppa Pig episodes off YouTube and dub them myself in our language!

Great idea! Ooh.. you could even re-upload them to YouTube & stick some adverts on them, you might make some extra pennies that way?

I wish I had a good idea for a YouTube money-making scheme, some people do so well out them that I'm desperate to join in. I keep half-thinking up plans and then abandoning them for various reasons. Time to get the thinking cap on again, I reckon. :think:

poorbutrich

mouche wrote: »

Oh tootoo and pbr…you are both so kind. Thank you so much for your messages.

Pbr – 14 hours a year sounds about right! But then again, you are a SAHM – you must have even less me-time than me! At least if I’m desperate, I can take a day off from work and relax while LO is in nursery. I don’t do this very often as annual leave is limited and must be saved for when LO is ill - but it *is* an option. OH is very good and looked after LO most of Saturday when I wasn’t feeling well. But he works even longer hours than me and it feels a bit unfair to ask him to do extra home-stuff as well. Hopefully, he will be able to recruit and get up to normal staffing levels soon and then I can restart my monthly night out with my friend (the night out where we have 2 drinks each and show each other pictures of our LOs.  )

Tootoo – you are absolutely right! Whenever I force myself to do something I enjoy even though I’m tired, I feel happier. Moping on the sofa thinking ‘I am so tired’ doesn’t seem to have that effect. So I will try to force myself to enjoy myself a bit more. After all, I do get 90 minutes between LO going to bed and my own bedtime – I will dedicate 30 minutes of that time to ME and so what if the ironing isn’t finished! I just stress myself our so much it’s stupid. The other day I was lying on the couch watching a favourite TV program while OH gave me a neck massage – bliss, right? But no, I was thinking ‘I should get up and list something on ebay or do some cross stitch’. I can’t even relax when I’m relaxing!

But it’s so nice to know I’m not the only one struggling with this. I see my perfectly groomed, perfectly dressed friends posting on Facebook about going out to dinner or going to the gym and I think – ‘What have you done with your children?! And where do you find the energy?’ And on the other hand there’s me who refuses to allow OH to post pics of her on Facebook because I look so fat and frumpy – and then I get angry with OH because his Facebook movie has no pictures of me! I’m so glad I have MSE and you two to keep me sane.

I guess what makes it harder is we have no family in the UK so no babysitting credits available at all. I have one very good friend but since I work full time and she’s a single mother, we only see each other once a month when her boyfriend babysits for her and OH babysits for me. But with OHs current hectic work schedule, I haven’t seen her since before Christmas.

Sorry for the very rambly post – I wish I could just teleport the two of you here and have a long moany lunch – I’d get it all out of my system!

Great idea! Especially if your DH is a chef!


Yes, understand about the lack of network nearby. It really does make things more difficult and more expensive. I've been looking into setting up some sort of babysitting exchange but would need quite a lot of practice and reassurance about who I was leaving DS with.


Still pondering though....

poorbutrich

mouche wrote: »

Tootoo, pbr and Pearla, please consider yourself given a giant bear hug :grouphug: – you’ve helped make so many things clear to my parentitis-addled brain.

---

Onto MSE updates – OH has actually been home before LO bedtime for the past two days so things are better. I am worried about how much time LO is spending on the iPad though as we seem to switch it on whenever he refuses to do something (like get up in the morning). Will need to work on that – essentially it’s a case of not having the willpower to knowingly unleash the tantrums that ‘no’ brings. I know he needs us to set limits etc. but life is so much more peaceful if we let him be boss! I was a bit upset yesterday as I had to sign an incident report at nursery yesterday because LO scratched his friend (and admitted to doing it – the carers hadn’t seen it happen). Whenever I have asked him about the friend in the past few days, LO has been saying ‘<Friend name> stop kicking’, so he may have been provoked. But as kicking doesn’t leave a mark and scratching does, it was me who got the incident report. I was quite upset about it but a chat with my friend at work made me realise it’s quite common and nothing to get stressed about.

And that wasn’t an MSE update was it?!

Ok…ummmmmm….did a YouGov survey and some OnePoll ones – still no sign of the payout though.

Posted my ebay parcel – made £2.87 profit on it, yay!

Brought in and ate a yummy OH-made pie today. Also a pack of Pop Tarts which were seriously disappointing.

Attempted to book villa in Tuscany last night – spent 90 minutes browsing, sent out 3 enquiries and have received no replies. OH now wants to abandon Tuscany and go ‘somewhere else’. I can see this holiday happening in 2016 at this rate. Still, we had a nice time giggling over some of the villa pics.

That’s about it on the money-front.

Have had a brilliant idea on the teaching-LO-our-language front. Since he speaks English in nursery (with a very strong accent), we end up speaking to him in English as well so that he understands. But we really want him to learn our language as well. So next time I have some time (ha ha!) I will use some video editing software I have on my work laptop to record Peppa Pig episodes off YouTube and dub them myself in our language!

Thanks for the bear hug! Just what's needed in these icy cold winds!


That is a brilliant idea! Hope no one steals it - are you doing it now? Have you found someone to do Daddy Pig and of course the ubiquitous Miss Rabbit?

mouche

Anytime you are in my part of the world pbr , drop in and I’ll get OH to make a slap up meal! I hadn’t given any thought to the different voices for my Peppa idea. I think it will be a case of OH doing all the male parts and me doing all the women. Though one of my friends also speaks the same language so maybe I’ll rope her in. I don't think I'll be able to make money off it though - there must be some copyright issues involved somewhere.

I feel absolutely miserable today. I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather for a few days but not actively sick. But today I’ve got the whole headache/ stuffy ears/ not feeling well thing happening. And OH has just texted to say that he will be late again this evening. He won’t be back till midnight tomorrow which is to be expected for chef on Valentine’s but I was hoping he’d be back on time today. He’s been able to collect LO from nursery exactly once this month. Moan moan.

On the bright side, we’ve had a response from one of the villas and it is available on our dates. My leave has just been approved so waiting for OH and then we will book everything. It’s not till June but really looking forward to it already.

No money news to report whatsoever I’m afraid. Where are you OnePoll payment – don’t make me lose faith in you!

megela

Hi Mouche,

1poll will take at least 28days to come through - if you haven't had it by then a reminder e-mail to them usually works quite quickly.

Megela

mouche

Thank you megela - 28 days will make it the 19th so an email will be going to them on the 20th if the money hasn't turned up. I'm already up to £15 again.

OH put LO to bed last night as I was absolutely shattered. OH doesn't normally put LO to bed because LO screams for me but last night both boys co-operated while I snoozed on the sofa. I'm not really 'ill' but I'm not feeling well and really tired IYSWIM? And I've been feeling like this for a week now. I wish if I was going to be ill, I'd just *be* ill and get it over with. It's this niggling thing I don't like. Worked from home today to get a rest from the commute at any rate.

OH gave me a card and two boxes of chocs at 7am this morning - the sweetie - I didn't think he'd remember to do anything. I'll try to stay awake till he gets home tonight so I can give him his gift. He said he'd try to be home by 11pm so fingers crossed.

The weather is terrible today - am hoping I can collect LO without both of us getting drenched.

No MSE news really.

Chores have gone largely undone this week due to feeling rubbish. I could do some tonight but have decided I will watch TV and do my cross stitch instead. I don't often get the TV to myself!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone and hope you have a nice weekend.