WHo should pay for what

kent_lady

Idiophreak, that's exactly the dilemma I have with my mum - I have NO idea how much she is thinking of and so don't know the impact it will have on our budget.......chicken and egg situation! I can only ask.........:D

And it has crossed our mind to do as you suggest and ask the men to all wear the same colour suit but we would provide them all with matching cravats - glad that's not a completely random idea I had...!!

johannalf88

Idiophreak- that is what we are doing. We have got ties for all the groomsmen, and have asked them to wear the black suits that we know they have. The best man and groom are going to be in a different colour probably, that's only because OH wants to stand out a little, and best man wants to buy a suit!

johannalf88

Kent-lady. Just brin it up in conversation. I was Talking about te wedding to my dad, mentioned how much bits were looking to cost etc. Then asked if he was planning on making a contribution (stressed I wasn't expecting anything.) he then said that he would pay for marquee! The most expensive bit of our wedding!

Idiophreak

kent_lady wrote: »

Idiophreak, that's exactly the dilemma I have with my mum - I have NO idea how much she is thinking of and so don't know the impact it will have on our budget.......chicken and egg situation! I can only ask.........:D

Yeah. I was in the same situation when we started planning, but it wasn't a big deal in the end...You just say "I'm starting to finalise our budget now and know you mentioned you'd give us a little to help - did you have any amount in mind, or would you rather pay for something in particular".

ellay864

Rather than give her a breakdown of costs could you maybe have a list of main things and the sort of range they might cover based on your absolute maximum eg you could put photographer as say £600 - 800 if you really don't want to go more than that. That way your mum has a rough idea so could just take something out right away.
Or you could even throw some hints like 'we'd love venue X but it's quite pricey so we'll probably have venue Y instead'...she may offer the difference or something. tbh if you don't know what she can afford you may be best working to your own budget, and then whatever she gives you can go towards something like the honeymoon. I knew my mum and MIL were giving us money - I know my mum can't do much so I'm not factoring it into the budget at all. I thought the same for MIL then she gave us a wad of money far more than I expected. But rather than think 'oh I could have had a nicer cake' etc, I now just have more money to go to other things. At the end of the day we've still got the wedding we want and now a bit of extra cash to play with

Idiophreak

kent_lady wrote: »

And it has crossed our mind to do as you suggest and ask the men to all wear the same colour suit but we would provide them all with matching cravats - glad that's not a completely random idea I had...!!

No, it's a good idea...By the time you give them a cravat and maybe a button hole, people will hardly notice if they aren't wearing tails etc.
edit: and you'll save a whole bunch of wonga!!

shellsuit

If you want to dictate what people should wear, then you should pay IMO.

We had matching baby pink shirts and hot pink ties for the men (groom, my son, my Dad, my FIL, my BIL, my stepdad and my Uncle who was a witness) and they wore their own suits which meant nobody was out of pocket by much yet they all looked great together in the pics.