Breast or bottle feeding?

neverdespairgirl

I think it is always easier if your family's used to it, too - my mother was a "toddler feeding weirdo", she fed all 4 of us until we were about 18 months old. So my whole family saw it as just what one did with a baby - my Dad / sisters / uncles etc would automatically pass a cushion, or get a glass of water, or something.

Teenie_D

It's great that your supporting her that is exactly what your OH needs with whatever decision she makes but I would say if she really does want to give b/f'ing a go then give it at least a week .

I breastfed my DD with absolutely no problem whatsoever for about 8 months until I went back to work, but with DS I really struggled
in the beginning, not necessarily because he wasn't latchng on etc but just because of the sheer pain of it. 6 days after he was born I was ready to give it up and was devastated as I trully didn't want to and with the support of the midwifes (I was still in hospital) and my DH (and my Mum who had 5 children and didn't b/f any of us) I got through it and the wee man is 20 weeks tomorrow. I now mix feed and DS gets 2 formula bottles a day. I used to express so DH could do the last night feed but I find it a bit time consuming and once my milk settled down I gave it up. I wont feed him as long as I did my DD, I am having problems with recurring thrush but want to wait until he is 6 months before I will probably stop which is a shame but I've given it another good go

Breasfeeding though is definately not for everyone, I personally love it, the closeness and knowing that you are noursihing your child, the convenience and the cost, or lack of LOL!;)

AnGee

When I had my first child I had wanted, and expected, to breastfeed. I tried, but it just didn't work out. He didn't put on weight and eventually my very pro breastfeeding midwife reluctantly said "Give him a bottle!". I bottle fed him while still occasionally breastfeeding. I was so fed up at not being able to breastfeed.

When I had my second, I was much more relaxed about the whole thing. I breast fed and gave the occasional bottle. The bottles became more and the breastfeeds less until I was just giving bottle feeds.

I think that whatever works out for your OH and your baby is the best thing. I learnt not to worry overly about it

spaghetti_monster

clearingout wrote: »

Small babies have the sucking power of at least 100 dysons all working at once, I think!!!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

As several people have said (here and elsewhere) it can hurt quite a bit at first, just to be prepared.

One thing I was NOT prepared for was my milk coming in. I went from modestly-chested to rock-hard-Pamela-Anderson overnight.
I had a couple of sessions with a breast-feeding consultant which were very helpful. I had a bit of trouble with threatened mastitis, but very good advice was to massage the Pammies under a warm shower and also apply a cold compress.

After getting the hang of BF (both me and LO I think!), I can't believe how easy it is. I remember how in the early days it would take me a while to prop myself and LO on just the right amount of cushions - now I can just pop him on anytime and luckily he's a fast efficient drinker (dyson).

I also found it amazing to look at him a few weeks ago and think: 6 months old, pushing 9kg and all made of breastmilk!

gratefulforhelp_2

clearingout wrote: »

I breastfed all 3 of mine - the most stress I had was with the first and trying to pump the stuff out and put it in bottles so the (now ex) husband could also feed him. I had a super-duper mains connected breastpump and never managed more than a couple of ounces, even early in the mornings (when there's more milk to spare for reasons beyond me!). Small babies have the sucking power of at least 100 dysons all working at once, I think!/QUOTE]

I have never cracked expressing, either.

2522laura wrote: »

I was planning on expressing for the first couple of months then formula feed. I was going to express rather than breast feed as I want the baby to get the benefit of the breast milk but I dont want to be the only one doing the feeds. Looks like I may have underestimated how difficult expressing is reading all your comments! Still, I'll give it a go.

My Mum is REALLY putting the pressure on for me to breast feed properly which I am finding quite annoying, I dont see why it matters that the breast milk is comming out of a bottle!

The reason she is doing that, probably, is that it's harder to get your milk supply established just by expressing.

OP also get your OH a tube of Lansinoh ointment for sore bits (or ask m/w for a sample). Great stuff.

spaghetti_monster

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

I have never cracked expressing, either.

I think it takes me at least twice as long to express as it would take LO to directly drink the same amount.

I really look forward to calm days when there's no faffing around with expressing, extra washing up. I don't think I'd like to do that every day with formula/bottle feeds etc.

barbiedoll

It's definitely worth giving breastfeeding a go, it's how we're meant to feed our kids and although there is a bit of a knack to it, once you have the basic latch and positioning right, it tends to fall into place.

Some women (like me) are very lucky and breastfeed from the first day, with absolutely no problems at all. Most however, do experience some pain and there's no doubt that it is exhausting work, feeding a new baby every two hours!

You do hear a lot of comments from midwives such as..."if it hurts, you're doing it wrong" etc etc, but from seeing new mums at work, I can tell you that it may hurt even if you're doing everything right. Nipples are very sensitive and when you think of the wear and tear, no wonder women complain of pain and tenderness! :eek:

Lots of mums do "mixed" feeding, (breast and bottle) although BF warriors do expect all women to sit around all day feeding their children, in the real world, women do have other things to do, not least looking after their older kids! If you have a large extended family to help, (like the Africans and the Chinese tend to have) then BF is no problem. If you have to do the big shop, the school run and all of the housework too, then a bottle can be a little quicker and easier, no matter what midwives may think. It's a personal choice but if a woman wants to BF, there is plenty of help out there (and on here ) so I would say...give it a go!

milliebear00001

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

It is infinitely convenient and portable, needing little thought or planning, which is good when one is sleep deprived.

I would second this as an absolutely brilliant reason o bf. Having done both, it's the main one for me!

There are of course, massive health benefits to bf as well!

I did both (first was bottle-fed, second bf). It was far more convenient never having to sterilise, make up feeds, warm them at 3am with a screaming baby desperate for food etc etc! I stopped bf the first one because we couldn't get the latch right and it hurt and she was constantly hungry because she wasn't getting a good supply - I don't feel bad about that, but do feel good that I tried it, and that it was so much easier second time around.

heretolearn_2

I think she should at least give it a try - it IS better for the baby after all, and the early breast-feeds in first couple of days are the really important ones that pass on a lot of immunity etc - she can try it and if it's not for her and babe, move on to a bottle. Whereas if she starts off with a bottle and changes her mind, it's too late.

Some of your concerns might not turn out to be so bad in real life - you don't know until you try.

The visiting and going out thing - I think it's loads EASIER if you breastfeed. No having to make up bottles, no worrying about if it's sterile, no worrying about has the milk gone off, no faffing about trying to find a way to warm it up. She'll soon get the hang of sticking baby under her top to feed it. There's really no need for anyone to see anything of her boobs, if that's what she's scared of. You do see the odd woman out and about whipping the whole lot out but they are trying to make a point there, they don't have to.

Some babies are hungrier than others. Once your milk is in then there should be plenty. It's just the first few days where it's low but babies are designed to live through this and it's normal for them to lose a little bit of weight. It's what the human race has done for millennia, so I don't know why some parents start to panic about it. This is how it's supposed to work.

Bonding - there's loads of ways to bond with a baby for you. To be honest most parents I see bottle feeding just shove it in babies mouth and get on with something else at the same time, or prop the bottle up on a pillow etc so they aren't even holding the baby at all and within a few months the babies want to hold the bottle themselves anyway- the parents aren't sitting there gazing into bubs eyes once the novelty has worn off. You can still get involved. We used to take it in turns to do the 'night duty' and on dads night he would get up with the baby, change him, burp him, settle him back down to sleep etc. I'd just get a baby passed to me in bed, hardly wake up, feed him, and hand him straight back. Dad was the one really doing everything those nights.

skintchick

I was in two minds whether to open this thread, as this type of question often degenerates into a slanging match, but it's really nice and civilised in here.

OP, the thing that immediately sprang to mind was that women who are supported in breastfeeding by their partner are more likely to succeed than those who are not, so you are really important. In my work as a BF peer-to-peer helper, I have come across dads who say they feel a bit redundant when their partner is breastfeeding, but that is not true! Dads are so important, they can help mum get comfy and supply food and drink to her, and they are invaluable emotional support, as well as tending to be brilliant baby-comforters when mum is tired. My OH used to tuck DD into his dressing gown and she'd go to sleep in there while I went back to bed. So you are vital.

Secondly, you said 'if baby doesn't take to it'. Well, if babies genuinely didn't 'take' to breasfeeding the human race would have died out by now! It can be hard to get right at first, especially as we often don;t have much experience of having seen breastfeeding so we have no real idea how it works, but there is lots of help out there.

Save these numbers for when your OH needs them:

National Breastfeeding Helpline (manned by Breastfeeding Network) 0300 100 0212

La Leche League 0845 120 2918

NCT 0300 330 0771

Association of Breastfeeding Mothers 08444 122 949

They are manned by trained volunteers, who can help with all aspects of breastfeeding including expressing, mix feeding, weaning, whatever.

It is also worth checking where your local breastfeeding drop-in is held. THey are usually but not exclusively at Children's Centres. The Beastfeeding Network has a search facility here http://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/support-centres.html#map.

Ultimately, breastfeeding is the natural and biologically normal way of feeding your baby, it is far superior to formula (which is just modified cows' milk) and adapts to your baby's needs hour by hour, protecting and boosting their immune system, providing pain relief, comforting, aiding digestion and also helping relax and calm both baby and mum. Formula provide adequate nutrition, and that is all. It cannot compare.

The thing to remember is that it takes a while to get breastfeeding sorted and working well, and while you can start breastfeeding than change to forumla if you decide to, you cannot do it the other way round very easily, if at all. It is posssible to relactate but it is harder than simply starting off breastfeeding.

Support is vital to getting latch and positioning right for mum and baby, each individual is different, and problems ignored will get worse so it's vital to get help quickly.

I don't want to lecture (I hope I haven't) but wanted to add to the lovely civilised thread!