FIL kicking BIL out?

LittleMissKitty

Hi all, not sure whether this is the right place to post - if anyone thinks it'd be better elsewhere please feel free to move it! (Sorry fo the length )

I'm after some advice for my FIL. Basically MIL was found dead at the beginning of Summer. My FIL is now rattling around in a large 3-bed Victorian terrace with BIL. BIL is unemployed and was receiving disability for depression some of which I gather was going to FIL but that has now been stopped. Without MIL's financial contribution FIL is now left living on a small pension and needs to get rid of the house as he can no longer afford to run it.

Having gone through his accounts he's decided he really needs to find a small retirement property to be able to afford to live, obviously he can't get a retirement property if he has his 33 yr old son to live with him! He's concerned that if he does this BIL will be left homeless but has heard that if he writes to the council basically saying he cannot afford to keep BIL that BIL may get emergency accommodation. All FIL wants is a guarantee that BIL won't end up on the streets. Does anyone know if this is correct? Or what may happen if he effectively kicks him out?

TIA
Kitty x

nannytone_2

chances are that the council will put BIL in a B&B or a hostel for the short term. ( if he is disabled)

council properties have a turn around time of about 3 months. 1 month notice and then 2 months to do essential works and re let. that is if a suitable property becomes available. If he isnt receiving disability benefits, then it's quite possible that he won't be deemed 'vulnerable' and will be expected to fend for himself. ( renting porivately)

LittleMissKitty

Thanks Nannytone. I've been on the 'emergency housing rights checker' on Shelter and it looks like they should give him something assuming he wins his disability appeal. If not then I suppose he'll have to get himself back on JSA and get off his backside and find something. I don't want to see FIL suffering because BIL is useless!

Kitty x

merlin68

His only entitled to a house share at that age. I can't see the council rehousing him and it would take a long time. His best to look for himself and claim housing benefit and council tax benefit. My BIL had 5 kids and one disabled and waited 3 years.

LittleMissKitty

Thanks Merlin. We'd love it if he'd look for himself! The problem is he doesn't want FIL to sell the house and he doesn't want to leave. Unfortunately FIL doesn't want to kick him out unless he can guarantee he won't wind up homeless so it's a horrible stalemate! FIL needs to just kick him out and make him fend for himself but I can imagine it's hard to do that to your own child no matter how much of a waste of space they are

Oldernotwiser

LittleMissKitty wrote: »

Thanks Nannytone. I've been on the 'emergency housing rights checker' on Shelter and it looks like they should give him something assuming he wins his disability appeal. If not then I suppose he'll have to get himself back on JSA and get off his backside and find something. I don't want to see FIL suffering because BIL is useless!

Kitty x

But you've just said that your BIL is disabled by mental illness; I'm frankly appalled by the way you've spoken of him in this way.

If you think he's faking you shouldn't be hoping he wins his appeal but if he's genuinely suffering from depression ( in which case the loss of his mother immediately followed by becoming homeless could have severe consequences) then perhaps you should be looking to encourage him to get treatment and be more respectful towards his disability and his desperate situation.

What's your husband's take on the situation.

LittleMissKitty

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

But you've just said that your BIL is disabled by mental illness; I'm frankly appalled by the way you've spoken of him in this way.

If you think he's faking you shouldn't be hoping he wins his appeal but if he's genuinely suffering from depression ( in which case the loss of his mother immediately followed by becoming homeless could have severe consequences) then perhaps you should be looking to encourage him to get treatment and be more respectful towards his disability and his desperate situation.

What's your husband's take on the situation.

Sorry, I realise I haven't explained the situation fully, I didn't mean to offend at all. BIL has been unemployed through his own choice for over 5 years, he is an unpleasant individual who was largely babied by MIL because she felt she'd failled to raise him properly and thought that the best way to atone for that was to 'look after' him. However it only served to turn him into an even more unpleasant human being who sees it as his 'right' to be kept and uses depression as a means to pay for his petrol. He's genuinely not suffering from mental illness at all! He HIMSELF would tell you that if you asked!

Some of my closest friends are sufferers and I have the utmost sympathy with their situation and will support them through anything however I can.

My husband thinks his parents should have kicked him out years ago. FIL agrees but thinks his Mum babied him for so long it may be too late.

K x

Hammyman

LittleMissKitty wrote: »

Sorry, I realise I haven't explained the situation fully, I didn't mean to offend at all. BIL has been unemployed through his own choice for over 5 years, he is an unpleasant individual who was largely babied by MIL because she felt she'd failled to raise him properly and thought that the best way to atone for that was to 'look after' him. However it only served to turn him into an even more unpleasant human being who sees it as his 'right' to be kept and uses depression as a means to pay for his petrol. He's genuinely not suffering from mental illness at all! He HIMSELF would tell you that if you asked!

Stuff him in that case. Offer no help and don't get involved.

skintandscared_2

Time for BIL to step up or shut up I think!! He either gets a job and makes up the extra money your FIL needs, or gets out and finds somewhere else to live. It's the only option. Your FIL can't afford to stay there as things are - he's not doing this through choice.