I'm Free to Do Whatever I...... Anybody else?

balmaiden

I "retired" last year at 50, earlier than I expected following a huge fall out with my boss a kind of straw that broke the camels back situation..My Oh and I had been talking about retiring for awhile and have now agreed that he will finish work later this year ( hes ten years older than me) this will mean a huge drop in income but we should manage after finding this wonderful site.my question is why do I feel so guilty about having free time? I stilll feel I should be busy, busy busy.I feel so guilty if I sit and read etc why? i have dreamt of this for years, will it change with time? I feel I must never say no when my grown family or elderly neighbours ask favours of me.After all I do nothing!! This isnt how it was meant to be. HELP

SkyBlue_2

Thanks to those who offered advice and pointed me in the right direction.

I discovered today that I am not, alas, entitled to any state benefits. It would appear that my teacher's pension is enough for me to live on according to DHSS calculations ...(I know the department has a new title now...) How do I get my stamp paid even though I am out of work? Anyone know?

Big sigh. Oh well - it's back to job hunting for me.

I really am incapacitated though and awaiting another operation. I have several chronic conditions which ensure I have no idea how I will feel when I wake up in the morning. I am a conscientious worker when I am fit and able, but would hate to be a liability to anyone kind enough to employ me right now. My GP will endorse my lack of fitness to work.....but it seems there is no help for a middle aged woman trying to survive on an income only one fifth of what she was receiving when she worked. I HAD to give up work reluctantly (after thirty years) on ill health grounds....so at 52 I find myself living with three student "children" - all over 18 but with little wherewithall to increase the household income.

Seems the only option I have is to kick out the kids and downsize to a flat.....

Sorry. I am hijacking this thread. I'd still maintain that jumping the job ship and being free of the ties of daily employment is priceless...There comes a time in our lives when the stress and strain of it all can be punishing, (my job contributed to my deteriorating health) and I truly believe we should enjoy life while we are able bodied and mentally fit. What's the point of being a wage slave only to sit wealthy and ga-ga in an arm chair in our later years? I want a huge store of happy memories to take with me to the grave....not a bank account stuffed to over-flowing for my kids to benefit from.

I'll happily downsize...I am not particularly materialistic, but I am not sure that I can abandon my student kids and leave them homeless...well - I KNOW I can't - so I really have a dilemma.

missile

balmaiden wrote: »

I "retired" last year at 50, earlier than I expected following a huge fall out with my boss a kind of straw that broke the camels back situation..My Oh and I had been talking about retiring for awhile and have now agreed that he will finish work later this year ( hes ten years older than me) this will mean a huge drop in income but we should manage after finding this wonderful site.my question is why do I feel so guilty about having free time? I stilll feel I should be busy, busy busy.I feel so guilty if I sit and read etc why? i have dreamt of this for years, will it change with time? I feel I must never say no when my grown family or elderly neighbours ask favours of me.After all I do nothing!! This isnt how it was meant to be. HELP

Just because you are no longer working does not mean your time is any less valuable. Learn to say no and do not feel you have to make an excuse either:p

SkyBlue_2

why do I feel so guilty about having free time? I stilll feel I should be busy, busy busy.I feel so guilty if I sit and read etc why? i have dreamt of this for years, will it change with time?

I can associate with this too!

I feel I should be "achieving" and doing things, and the guilt I feel because I am very self-indulgent on some days is awful. Why do I beat myself up because I choose to have a lazy day in my well-earned retirement?

I am 52, so not old, and I think my (young adult) children feel I should be rushing off to work still every morning! Unfortunately, my 18 yr old sees me taking it easy every now and then and thinks I have no right to ask him to help around the house if I have sat down to read, watch a film, or go out with friends.

I think most people who have been used to busy lives find it hard to switch off and relax. We shouldn't feel guilty, but we do! It's the old work ethic pricking our consciences!

annamac1_2

Hallo to you all on this great thread.

I opted out of rat race when I was 43 but later took a job to help out with the finances. Eyesight let me down, had various ops on my eyes but was left partially sighted but in some ways it was a blessing in that it forced me to get off the threadmill and slow down. We became 'homesteaders', I shopped for clothes at charity shops, all home cooking in our house and it was a good 6 years before we managed to have a holiday away....

With a small inheritance and hard work on my hubbies part we are not too badly off (by our standards not other peoples!) but his health is now causing problems which will mean changes to our plans so I would say to all you younger people on this thread to make the most of everyday because no one knows what is around the corner.

Having said that being able to turn over in bed for an extra hour or two is as good as winning the Lotto.
All the best for now. I continue to read on the forum with immense enjoyment.