Help divorce and home ownership

princessdreamer

My husband ran off with another woman last year, since then I have not seen him to speak to and if I do manage to get hold of him all I get is abuse off him and his partner whom I have never met
We have 3 children who is does not pay for choosing instead to claim benefits, he chooses not to see the children.
The house has a small mortgage but is in desperate need of repair making it way below the market value for the area, with estimated selling price just over half the amount of similar modernised properties in the area. I have had it valued but husband has rejected my valuations and wants one of his own which I agreed to three months ago, since then I have heard nothing.
After selling fees we are looking at around £35,000 equity split two ways which is nothing. I want to stay in the house as I have paid the mortgage alone since he left, however I cannot afford to buy him out and the mortgage company will not put the mortgage in my sole name.
The children wish to stay in this house and it is where my support network is. Am not eligable for social housing as I own my home. Help.

Little_Leita

I am in exactly the same position as you at the moment (except my house is now in negative equity). Now, as far as I can gather, because we still live in our respective marital homes with the children, we have the right to remain there until the youngest child reaches 18. Please somebody correct me if what I've been told is wrong though. This is of interest to me too.

I did have a free consultation with a local solicitor the other week (but forgot to ask about the staying in the house thing!) and she said he should pay half the mortgage if he wants half the eventual equity (once the market picks up), and I have to say I agree as although I can manage, I have paid everything alone for 18 months while he lives the life of riley sponging off his new very wealthy fiancee. She said that because it is difficult to make him pay then she strongly advised that I went to the CSA as they will make an attachment of earnings...thus ensuring he pays something that I can rely on.

RAS

Hi

Have you started divorce proceeding? That is the proper place to iron this out. You need advice from a good lawyer, but you do not have to have one attend on your behalf if this goes to court.

You can download the petition from the court website and take it in yourself and pay the petition fee.

princessdreamer

Divorce is almost at decree absolute with nothing sorted as he ignores everything said to him, he doesn't even bother to advise his own solicitor so we get letter back saying they are awaiting his instructions.

RAS

In that case, stop the divorce becoming absolute until the financial settlement is completed.

princessdreamer

How do I do that?

kingfisherblue

I was in a similar situation a few short years ago. My ex had left me for someone else and started a new family. He didn't pay any of the mortgage, endowments, insurances, etc. At the time, he diodn't pay maintenance either, but the CSA now have a DOE and collect his money monthly.

My ex wouldn't rely to solicitor's letters or fill in financial forms for the court. He tried to force me to sell, but I refused - it is my children's home as well as mine, and they didn't deserve to be uprooted. In my case, the house has also been adapted for our son's disabilities.

My solicitor delayed the divorce until the financial settlement was sorted out. We ended up with barristers and were in court three times because my ex didn't include details of our child's disabilities in the relevant section of the financial details form. He even told the judge that the disabilities weren't that bad (this is for a child who has come close to death on several occasions, and who is in receipt of high rate care and high rate mobility payments since the earliest ages possible).

The judge ruled in my favour - our child will never be independent, or even partially independent, so it was ruled that he can live in the house as long as he needs to, even if it is until his death (unless I die first).

So please do as RAS advises - stop the divorce and sort out the financial side, including the house, first. Once your ex realises that you are not going to give in, he might start responding to solicitors letters. If not, take him to court - that's what I had to do. Not many people like arguing with the judge.

caeler

princessdreamer wrote: »

How do I do that?

Just don't apply for your absolute. You become eligible 6 weeks and 1 day after the nisi is granted. I think its then 3 months after your husband could apply but the court would ask you why you have not applied, you would then tell the court financial settlement and arrangements for the children have not been reached and you would remain married.

Whatever you do, not proceed to absolute until you have your consent order with all this stuff agreed, otherwise you become two 'strangers' agreeing a settlement, your much better off as a wife until it is all agreed. I remained married an extra 12 months due to my ex playing games. But it was worth it.

Try here for excellent support and guidance: http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/