What should i do/would you do?

nattyt

Without boring you with the details I split up with my ex 15 or so months ago. He has the children every other weekend and pays me £100 per week for 2 children (paid fortnightly £200 as he gets paid fortnightly).
Anyway for various reasons he is sulking and didn't have the children this weekend just gone. Maintenance is due tomorrow or Friday. I'm pretty sure he won't pay it. So the questions are:
A) As I have to constantly chase him up for it and he refuses to set up a standing order do I go to the CSA regardless. I am happy with £100 so would they accept that we have that agreement and just collect that? I don't particularly want them to make an award although I know it would be more than he's currently paying.
Do I see what happens come Friday then decide?

My youngest is nearly 4 and the thought of having to chase him up every other week for the next 14 years doesn't exactly fill me with joy! Also as I want as little contact as possible with him I hate having to text/phone about this. I am sure its just that this is his last bit of control but thats a whole other story!!

C) He is also self employed although he gets paid by a company who issue him with wage slips. I have heard the horror stories about NRP getting away with paying or paying very little due to being self employed so this does worry me slightly.

I hope this makes sense!

Thanks in advance.

PreludeForTimeFeelers

nattyt wrote: »

Without boring you with the details I split up with my ex 15 or so months ago. He has the children every other weekend and pays me £100 per week for 2 children (paid fortnightly £200 as he gets paid fortnightly).
Anyway for various reasons he is sulking and didn't have the children this weekend just gone. Maintenance is due tomorrow or Friday. I'm pretty sure he won't pay it. So the questions are:
A) As I have to constantly chase him up for it and he refuses to set up a standing order do I go to the CSA regardless. I am happy with £100 so would they accept that we have that agreement and just collect that? I don't particularly want them to make an award although I know it would be more than he's currently paying.
Do I see what happens come Friday then decide?

My youngest is nearly 4 and the thought of having to chase him up every other week for the next 14 years doesn't exactly fill me with joy! Also as I want as little contact as possible with him I hate having to text/phone about this. I am sure its just that this is his last bit of control but thats a whole other story!!

C) He is also self employed although he gets paid by a company who issue him with wage slips. I have heard the horror stories about NRP getting away with paying or paying very little due to being self employed so this does worry me slightly.

I hope this makes sense!

Thanks in advance.

They can't be involved to just do the collection of monies, the options open to you involving the CSA are either you get them to just do a calculation, and your ex pays you directly, or you get them to do a calculation and collect what they assess your case to be.

As he is self-employed, and sub-contracting, then his assessment will be based on his tax returns - you know him better than any of us here do, how accurate have his tax returns been for the past few years? If he's fiddling his books then there's a good chance you'd end up with considerably less than he currently pays you. Based on 2 children (staying with him for 2 nights per fortnight), giving you £100 per week currently, working back this would imply he would have to be declaring that he earns after £583 per week after tax, NI and expenses.

The decision is ultimately down to you - if you think that he is honest and tells the taxman exactly what he earns, and it's almost £600 per week after tax, then opening a case through the CSA would see him paying you £100 per week (ish), and the CSA would collect it on your behalf. If you think that he may not have declared everything to HMRC, then there's a good chance that any official calculation could end up considerably less.

nattyt

PreludeForTimeFeelers wrote: »

They can't be involved to just do the collection of monies, the options open to you involving the CSA are either you get them to just do a calculation, and your ex pays you directly, or you get them to do a calculation and collect what they assess your case to be.

As he is self-employed, and sub-contracting, then his assessment will be based on his tax returns - you know him better than any of us here do, how accurate have his tax returns been for the past few years? If he's fiddling his books then there's a good chance you'd end up with considerably less than he currently pays you. Based on 2 children (staying with him for 2 nights per fortnight), giving you £100 per week currently, working back this would imply he would have to be declaring that he earns after £583 per week after tax, NI and expenses.

The decision is ultimately down to you - if you think that he is honest and tells the taxman exactly what he earns, and it's almost £600 per week after tax, then opening a case through the CSA would see him paying you £100 per week (ish), and the CSA would collect it on your behalf. If you think that he may not have declared everything to HMRC, then there's a good chance that any official calculation could end up considerably less.

He hasn't paid any tax for about 5/6 years so this is a whole other issue!! Really don't know what to do now. He earns more like £800 per week but as he hasn't done any tax returns I doubt it matters what he earns. How would CSA even find out because of this? He really doesn't want the Csa involved so I am thinking of saying that either he pays it standing order or I go to them. Don't really want to act like I'm threatening but maybe I have no choice?

Thanks for your help.

mspa

Just explain you are happy with the arrangement as long as it is paid on time as you rely on this money. That you really do not want to involve the csa or cause any problems for him but if you are going to constantly have to ask for it you will have no alternative.

Marisco

nattyt wrote: »

He hasn't paid any tax for about 5/6 years so this is a whole other issue!! Really don't know what to do now. He earns more like £800 per week but as he hasn't done any tax returns I doubt it matters what he earns. How would CSA even find out because of this? He really doesn't want the Csa involved so I am thinking of saying that either he pays it standing order or I go to them. Don't really want to act like I'm threatening but maybe I have no choice?

Thanks for your help.

Well, there is your lever right there!!! If he has been earning but not declaring it, then he will be in a whole heap of trouble!! You could [STRIKE]threaten[/STRIKE] explain to him, that if you have to go to the CSA, then they will start looking into his financial affairs!! Then stand well back and see what he says:D

nattyt

Marisco wrote: »

Well, there is your lever right there!!! If he has been earning but not declaring it, then he will be in a whole heap of trouble!! You could [STRIKE]threaten[/STRIKE] explain to him, that if you have to go to the CSA, then they will start looking into his financial affairs!! Then stand well back and see what he says:D

He knows this I reckon which is why he doesn't want me to go to them. Today he has text me saying I'll get 'my' money if he gets 'his' kids when he wants them. Well its not my money its theirs and they are our kids not just his!! Complete blackmail i'm sure you will agree. He also said and I quote 'if you mess things up for me i'll mess things up for you'. Quite what he is talking about I have no idea. This is a man who not only owes however many thousands in tax but also has a warrant out for his arrest! He seems to not realise that maintenance and access are 2 separate issues.
Tomorrow is meant to be maintenance payment for the fortnight just gone as he pays in arrears. If its not there by midday i am going to text him saying if its not there by 3pm then I'm going straight to the CSA and that he should bear in mind that they will delve into his financial affairs. Don't think hes left me with much choice.

mspa

If he is sending you messages like that I wouldnt even bother to text him tomorrow or reply to his messges, just contact the csa if you do not recieve it. If he has a problem with the contact arrangement the he should go to a solicitor.

nattyt

mspa wrote: »

If he is sending you messages like that I wouldnt even bother to text him tomorrow or reply to his messges, just contact the csa if you do not recieve it. If he has a problem with the contact arrangement the he should go to a solicitor.

Hes just called me a bully in a text message! How I laughed!
My solicitor has said that basically he will have to take me to court to get a contact order if he can't agree to anything. However the likelihood of it ever making court is remote as I am not actually stopping him having them just stating that those weekends do not suit. He also refused mediation. When the mediator phoned him he told her 'to f**k off you c**t'.
I've said if its not there by 12 then I'm going to the CSA. I have nothing to lose if hes not going to pay me anything anyway.

PreludeForTimeFeelers

nattyt wrote: »

Hes just called me a bully in a text message! How I laughed!
My solicitor has said that basically he will have to take me to court to get a contact order if he can't agree to anything. However the likelihood of it ever making court is remote as I am not actually stopping him having them just stating that those weekends do not suit. He also refused mediation. When the mediator phoned him he told her 'to f**k off you c**t'.
I've said if its not there by 12 then I'm going to the CSA. I have nothing to lose if hes not going to pay me anything anyway.

Wow, sounds like a charming man.

I think that's probably the best attitude you can take - if it looks like he's going to fully stop paying anyways then I guess it's worth going to the CSA. I would report him to HMRC's tax evasion hotline too, as that is something that the CSA can't do. When you put in your application with them, give them the full details of the company who are currently paying his wages, the firm he sub-contracts to. That way, if he doesn't co-operate with the CSA then they can at least go to that company and find out what his income is - he can dispute this by providing tax returns, but if he's not declared anything then the CSA will use the info from the sub-contracting employer.

vitriol

just to mention, you know he hasn't paid tax for years, (your words), you could be subject to fraudulent activity's, as you knew what was going on but didn't report it. i like many others pay for the likes of people like him and you. i guess you were happy with it when you benefited from it.

skibadee

Not that maintenance and contact go together....but who altered or wished to alter his weekends of contact and how much notice is being given ?