Home alone

thunderbird

My boys are 12 (just) and 9 (10 in Oct)

I leave them alone when I pop down to the shop/post office. Probably about 15 mins. Will let the eldest stay at home alone for longer, but not too long and only if I'm quite nearby. Can't remember when I started doing it.
It was quite nerve wracking to start with!

I used to let myself into home for my lunch when I was at primary school, probably about 8 or 9. But I was much more sensible

Spendless

balletshoes wrote: »

This morning, DD informed me that when she is 12 she'll be going into town with her school friends on the weekends :rotfl: - she probably will, heck where is the time going?

Good luck, with her wanting to wait till 12. My 11yo started Secondary last Monday. By Wednesday he was catching the earliest bus he could and that evening he asked if he could use his bus-pass to go into town. I said 'possibly, who you thinking of going with?' (cos I had friends with older kids who'd 'warned' me of this) but he hadn't thought about it that far and he said 'Can I take my sister (who's 8) I'll look after her. Not agreeing to that one though, and not cos I don't trust him.;)

Door keys though. Mine had one around 9 or 10 because mine go/went to seperate infant and junior schools and one time we had snow it was taking too long for me to get home with youngest and eldest was either shivering on door-step waiting for me to arrive, or back-tracking to try and find us, so in the end he had his own key cut. I'd forgotten that.

thunderbird

This is an interesting issue - I think these days people are wary of leaving their kids, not due to safety issues but in case they get accused of neglect/putting in danger.

My youngest currently goes to after school club (rather expensive!) as I don't get home with my eldest (from secondary school) till about 40 mins after he's finished. If he walked home and had a key he would probably only be home for about half an hour till we got in, but I just don't feel I can do it just yet.

peachyprice

My boys I left from the age of about 12 for up to an hour, from 15 I left them in the summer hols. My 10yo DD I wouldn't leave alone unless one/both of the boys were in the house.

I've never left them in charge of her for more than 30 mins, and that's only since she's been around the age of 8, but initially no more than 10 mins. She's 10 now but I wouldn't leave her alone with No.2 twin, he's dyspraxic and lives in a little world of his own even at the age of 16, I would leave leave her with twin No.1, for up to an hour.

Deep_In_Debt

I was 12 when my parents first left me for an evening out or some sort of meeting etc. They trusted my care to my brother who is 5 years older than me and was expected to be responsible at that age...little did they know! At the first opportunity, my bro would be out with his mates leaving me on my own. Luckily I was happy with my books and my own little world and probably more responsible than bro!

G51shopaholic

This question made me think about my childhood.

My parents worked in the hotel industry and we went where ever my dad got a job. Me & my brother & sister were left on our own from a very early age - I think I was 6, my sister would have been 7 and my brother 4. We lived in a caravan park that was about a 20 minute walk from the hotel but with no phone. I remember my brother hitting my older sister and she marched upto the hotel in her jammies to tell our dad! We didn't have a toilet in the caravan, just a bucket so they'd been fighting cause my brother did a poo and he wouldn't climb out of the caravan window to empty it.

The when we were 12, 11 & 9 our parents split up and our mum had to go out to work. So my sister & I ran the house while our mum worked. I also got a paper-round to earn extra money so we could keep our pets. Our mum made enough money to feed us but not the dog. So we kids did the paper round and we got to keep our dog! Then after about a year my stupid mum took him back (but thats another story).

Thankfully we made it - and are all in our 40's now with kids of our own but it made me appreciate things more.

My kids are 15 & 12. I can leave my son; he's 15. He's always on his X-box up in his room so the house could burn down and he wouldn't notice! My daughter is 12 and I tend to insist that she comes with me, unless she is with one of her friends and I can ask their mum to keep an eye on her.

I am luckly that family stay very close so I can ask them. But I've seen me leaving her out playing with friends if I need to nip to the shops for something.

but it depends on the child - some kids are more mature that others - but it is just a fact of life. Not every parent has access to afterschool clubs.

Spendless

thunderbird wrote: »

This is an interesting issue - I think these days people are wary of leaving their kids, not due to safety issues but in case they get accused of neglect/putting in danger.

My youngest currently goes to after school club (rather expensive!) as I don't get home with my eldest (from secondary school) till about 40 mins after he's finished. If he walked home and had a key he would probably only be home for about half an hour till we got in, but I just don't feel I can do it just yet.

Just out of curiousity. Why doesn't the older one make his own way home from Secondary school?

JBD

I would say about 10. To me a kid at secondary school [so 11+] should be old enough not to need a childminder. I was a 'latchkey kid' from age 9 ,along with 1 older and 3 younger siblings.
Of course it is different if a child has special needs.

catch_me_if_you_can

My daughter is very mature in outlook. From 8 she's been ok to leave for 15 mins while I collect an Avon book from a neighbour, from 11 she let herself in from school and got a snack, she's 15 now and we often leave her at home while we food-shop and she gets something out the oven etc. She's also been alone overnight (with ex's neighbour aware and looking out for her) on one-off nights when his shifts changed and clashed with pre-booked holidays etc. She's also safely gone to London on the train to rellies (even though I worried about that as it was around the time of the riots)
I think you give responsibility and see what happens. She's never caused us to mistrust her yet.

kjmtidea

I find threads like this really interesting My eldest is 10 in a couple of weeks so I guess he will want more freedom then lol.