getting access to my kids

antbann

I have had my children staying at my house for the last year, now she has a new boyfriend, so i have said i don't want her son staying at my house now ( not my son ), i don't think its right on the son with him going to see 3 different men me his dad and his mothers boyfriend, so i said il take him out through week now and again, but now she has stopped me having my children at all, is they anything i can do regarding it?

cheers

nannytone_2

youre posting on the wrong board.
this board is for benefits and tax credits.

but....

why take it out on the boy, even if he isnt yours?

seems like you pffer him a degree of stability and have been having him regularly.

how do you think he feels when he is told you want to have the other kids to stay, but not him?

kingfisherblue

Poor child - being given the heave ho for something that he has no control over. nannytone - excellent post.

real1314

Hmm, the way you've posted it, it seems like you were happy to have your kids' brother come and stay. That's quite a generous and very considerate position. Few parents are likely to have done this I'd have thought.

Now that there's another bloke in the picture, and his dad and you, you think it might not be good for him, and you've stopped having him at weekends, and suggested maybe he could come in the week. Which really still puts you ahead of most parents in the generosity/consideration stakes.

But now your Ex has stopped you seeing your kids. Wow, she doesn't care about the needs of any of them.

And 2 people are criticising YOU but not your EX?

Anyway, you should speak to your local county court / a solicitor about access. It goes through the family court.

Probably better to post in the Marriages, Relationships, Families Board though. :cool:

Bizarre.

Mojisola

No, she can't stop you seeing your children but you may have to fight to get it back. It's very unfair of her to use the children as pawns in a disagreement between the parents.

It does seem very unfair on the other child. You may be the best thing in his life.

I know of a lad in a similar position. He has no problem with Dad (real Dad), XXX (Mum's first partner after break-up) and YYY (Mum's current partner). He gets something different from them all and keeping all the relationships has been beneficial for him.

mummyplus3

How old is the lad? Might be worth seeing what he wants to do about it, how does his Dad feel that you have him over with your children aswell? If it has been that way for donkeys then it does seem awful for the little lad to suddenly be dropped. Mum's new boyfriend is just that there's no way he can compete with you especially if your children's sibling for all intents and purposes see's you as a father figure.

I can completly understand Mum saying all or nothing but do not think its right. Have you spoken to her in a calm mannor about it?

bobajob_1966

Mojisola wrote: »

No, she can't stop you seeing your children but you may have to fight to get it back. It's very unfair of her to use the children as pawns in a disagreement between the parents.

It does seem very unfair on the other child. You may be the best thing in his life.

I know of a lad in a similar position. He has no problem with Dad (real Dad), XXX (Mum's first partner after break-up) and YYY (Mum's current partner). He gets something different from them all and keeping all the relationships has been beneficial for him.

I'd say in that respect they are as bad as each other!

MissMoneypenny

real1314 wrote: »

But now your Ex has stopped you seeing your kids. Wow, she doesn't care about the needs of any of them.

Maybe she is thinking of the needs of the children and that's why she doesn't want one of them being singled out and rejected?

Mojisola

MissMoneypenny wrote: »

Maybe she is thinking of the needs of the children and that's why she doesn't one of them being singled out and rejected?

Then she should be saying that to the OP - not cutting off access to any of the children.

bobajob_1966

Mojisola wrote: »

Then she should be saying that to the OP - not cutting off access to any of the children.

And he should be discussing his concerns about the 'multiple dad' issue before taking such extreme action?

eyeinthesky

I'm with MissMoneypenny here, it must seem to the child that he is being punished and rejected. If it had always been that way I could understand it, and maybe the child could as well, with a little help. Sorry op, I think you have got this wrong. I do understand that he is not your son, but he will only want to be the same as his siblings, is that so wrong?

I had a stepson once. His own father was not interested, and I adopted him, and treated him as my own. Fast forward until he was 25 years old, and was diagnosed with malignant melanoma. He sadly died before he was 26, and it truly broke my heart. It could not have hurt any more if he was my own blood, and as a Father, I felt that I had failed because I could not make it all better. Even after 13 years it still hurts.

This child has done nothing to deserve rejection, please don't do it!