Joint Morgage; ex not paying

welshcakes

Based on thhe current contact with your son, every other weekend (Fri pm - Sunday afternoon/pm) plus one evening a week is the standard amount that MOST court's and Cafcass Officer's will support and if this amount or more has historically been in place, then it is very unlikely that any court would set out a contact order reducing such. If I understand your original post correctly, she is now threatening to remover the alternate weekend overnight stay on the grounds that your home only has one bedroom - this is almost certain NOT to stand up in a court as reasonable grounds to take away the overnight contact. Decide whether you think she will carry out the threat, if you think it is likely, I would personally apply for a Contact Order straight away.

At the moment, your ex likely perceives that with the support of a solicitor she is and will continue to call all the shots. A bullish tone to letters from solicitor offices are the norm, they can appear arrogant and are designed come across as strong, authoratitive and with an element of urgency - that way the recipient feels compelled to comply without challenging.

A word of caution on applying for a contact order is that a bitter PWC (parent with Care) will resent it and as contact and financial matters normally run concurrently, one does affect the other in as much as it can become a point scoring battle - "you push me, watch this, I can push you back just as hard". Only you can decide whether it's the way to go. Please don't allow her to withdraw/decrease contact and do nothng - if you go to court for contact later on, her solicitor will declare you weren't bothered enough to do anything about it before.

With regards to valuing the property, I understand the dilemma. However you stated that the mortgage company had declined the request to transfer the property into your own name so I presumed you wanted to 'buy ex out'. Unless both parties ae in agreement, no court will support your suggestion that the sole asset of the marriage is transferred into your name on the basis that when/if you sell at a later date, the settlement between your divorce finances can be settled - and I can't imagine her solicitor ever agreeing to such a proposal. It'll be a question of you paying her a lump sum to get shot of her.

Courts don't allow finances to be done in dribs and drabs (apart from pensions accruing and yet to be realised) - in cases such as your (as far as I have limited information), her solicitor and the court will look for a full and final settlement which will involve the parties coming to agreement and her solicitors preparing it as a Consent Order. This Order is presented to the court who grant it. It is then down to the parties to abide by any deadlines to complete it eg a pay out settlement, surrender and division of policies.

If it's simply a case of an intention to sell no matter what and you just want a quick despatch of the property, you don't need to transfer it (though I understand you want to have full profit of any future sale equity).

I take it your ex will be the petitioner in the divorce (ie the one who applies). When a joint property needs to be bought out or sold off, the court will require a joint valuation to be performed. Standard practice is for her solicitor to offer you a list of three local estate agents and you get to pick one from that list. You equally split the cost of the estate agent valuation (which has to be done by a surveyor as it is by order of the court).

The court will take this valuation as the mark for what the property is currently worth, look at all the debts secured against it, giving the net equity. The court will then be able to ascertain how much in ££ each party is entitled to upon sale/transfer of the property.

If you are considering buying her out (I appreciate you feel you already have by way of the monies and goods you gave her), you may decide to present the flat in as poor a condition as you can (without causing damage) to lower the valuation. It won't make a huge amount of difference but if there's little equity in it anyway, a few thousand is important. Then after transfer, you can spruce it up to enhance market value. Be aware that she has every right to be present when the joint valuation is undertaken.

I do not have any experience regards the management issue (hence suggesting the property board) however I am pretty sure you can communicate to the solicitors representing the owner that the matter must be completed within a reasonable timeframe and there may well be a legal definitionof what constitutes that eg 6 months.

Again, I'm sorry but I haven't seen the form regarding protecting interest on one parties' mortgage payments but there is a mortgage board on here and you will almost certainly get some sound advise.

smellyfeet

Welshecakes;

you seem to have good advice, what would you do, it could be worst case scenerio, I lose what money i have given her, i am left with debts that are in my name and my option being pay for the Mortgage by myself and she gains half the equity if it sells,

I could stop paying the mortgage (and pay my debts) and see if that makes her pay her half but that would give me bad credit and she might not pay...i will then have to decide to carry on paying or loose it.

I am seeing a solicitor on Tuesday but they would not advise the not paying option and i'm worried that if i start using a solicitor i am wasting money (although i would do what you advise and use the solicitor for advise/consulting).