No agreement can be met

Robp1971

2 and a half years ago I left my marital home after finding out my wife had been having an affair for 2 years. I moved 60 miles away to be closer to work and to avoid the daily commute. I left my wife in the marital home to care for our 2 children.

After a few months I had a new partner who moved into my flat and since then she has contributed to rent and household bills, she has also helped provide for my children.

Before my wife and I separated we had remortgaged our house so that I could buy a flat in the area I worked. I was earning over £70,000.00 a year and could afford the £2000 a month mortgage payments (repayment mortgage).

When we split up I hadn't bought a flat and had to start using the £100,000 that was in this account to pay rent. My wife assured me that she wanted nothing to do with this money and that she would not take it.

My wife started seeing a solicitor and I too instructed one. My wife failed to respond to issues I raised. I received a letter from her solicitor stating that she had advised that my wife withdraw half the money from the remortgage. My wife paid her debts off, ended a finance agreement on her car, paid a deposit on a new car and booked a holiday for herself, the children and her new partner and then withdrew half the money. As I was also paying all the utilities at the marital home and her partner had moved into the house, my solicitor advised me this was not my responsibility so I cancelled all the payments for the utilities. (This was several months after I moved out so any usage by me would have been paid for).

I continued to pay the mortgage for 8 months before contacting the mortgage company and asking them to change to interest only. This reduced the payments to £600 a month however I had to furnish my flat and collect my children and take them home every other weekend in order to see them and my share of the remortgage dwindled rapidly.

I then lost my job after being pushed out and I was unemployed for 6 months. With only a small payout to live on. I had loan repayments totalling £750 a month and also credit cards that I was paying minimum payments (mainly interest) of £300 a month, car finance and rent.

I stopped paying the mortgage for 3 months but then started again when I found work although my salary was half what I earned before.

As my wife and her partner were living the house I asked that they paid if not contributed to the mortgage. My wife refused. I asked that she move out the house so that the house could be rented out as by this point it was in £80,000.00 negative equity. She refused. I asked that she moved out so that I could move in. She refused. (Prior to me asking this she had sent emails saying she hated the house and why don't I come and live there and that she will move out when she is ready, so obviously I was frustrated that she changed her mind so often).

Although I was paying the mortgage my wife went to the CSA and as they don't take a mortgage for which I have a beneficial interest in they ordered that I pay her maintenance.I stopped paying the mortgage as I could no longer afford the payments as well as maintenance.

I am currently in a situation where there are mortgage arrears and my wife is still in the house with her partner who refuse to pay for the house they live in. They won't move out or let me rent it. She wants to surrender the house or sell it. Both of which would mean she could sit in the house for longer, paying nothing and letting the arrears build up, arrears which I am jointly responsible for. The house is in negative equity and there is no way that I can afford to pay towards these arrears and the equity.

My wife and her partner aka her boss earn a joint income of over £70000.00.

Also one of the children has moved in with me now so he can go to college but she is refusing to confirm to the CSA that he lives with me and say he is just here to attend college even though he is at college full time and sees being with me as his home. He is only due to go back to his mum's every other weekend.
I suggested to her that if she feels that she should be receiving money via the CSA and Child benefit then she should give him some dinner money....... needless to say she hasn't.


Any advice would be welcomed.

pigpen

Stop paying the mortgage.. so the house is repossessed, they will start proceedings with 3 months arrears.. she gets kicked out.. so what? you wont be homeless she will.. your other child can always live with you too

Contact tax credits and child benefit and CSA and tell them your son is living with you now.. and claim CSA for him from his mum.

Stop being taken for a mug!

princessdreamer

I think you have been very generous which I find hard to say as I am very for the bloke supporting the children to stay in the family home. Your ex could pay her own way but chooses not to.
To give you some perspective I will tell you my situation. My ex had multiple affairs during our marriage ending in my son throwing him out. He now lives with one of his GFs though claims not to. He left with arrears on everything and debt collectors harassing us looking for him. I have the children, paid all the arrears off even paid some of his debts so the children were not distressed by the constant calls and people at the door. Despite having little income I pay the mortgage by myself while ex takes his Gf out all the time and goes out partying at the weekend.
He pays £5 a week through CSA as he sits on benefits. Is he ashamed is he hell, he is going ape about getting HIS money out of the house. So to recap I paid £1,000s clearing arrears on everything even though he had been given the money to pay the bills, I pay the mortgage alone and support the children alone. He wants a payoff of between £35-£50,000 for being my husband when I bought the house and he wonders why his children want nothing to do with him.

gratefulforhelp_2

OP what advice does your solicitor give? You need a good one, and soon, I think.

peachyprice

Talk to your mortgage provider about voluntary repossession, it's a whole lot quicker than waiting for them to reposses as there's not guarantee they would automatically after 3 months arrears.

RAS

Rob

I wish you had come here 2 and a half years ago.

Please go over to http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=140

Advise your wife that if she does not relinquicsh the CB for your son within 10 days, you will report her for fraud, because that is what she is doing.

And please start divorce proceeding tomnorrow - you can download the paperwork from the internet and fill them in yourself. it cost l;ess than £400 to lodge them with the courts. Then get a rotweiler of a lawyer to help out with the financial settlement. That will settle what happens with the house.

It will not be cheap for you but her antics will cost her.