A confession

fakeplastictwee

I find it really hard to understand how people can act in that way, taking and expecting from others. I feel bad taking from my boyfriend or my parents! Let alone mates and acquaintances...

Oregon

I could never not pay my share and I don't know how these people live with themselves. They must go home knowing they've had four glasses of wine and not paid for any....

Oregon

I'm glad it isn't just me that gets p1ssed off about it!

shiny76

Oregon wrote: »

I'm glad it isn't just me that gets p1ssed off about it!

I have the same with one of my sisters and my brother.

My brother always slows his walking speed on entering a bar. He was also saving up to go travelling. When contributing towards a present for one of our nephews he'd always chuck in significantly less than the rest of us. It took me a while to realise we were all subbing his travelling fund!

My sister didn't even buy my wife and I a present for our wedding. Apparently getting herself and her kids new outfits had cost them a lot! Don't get me wrong, I'm not greedy - in fact our wedding list consisted of donations to the DEC - but I was significantly worse off for her wedding and still managed to spend money on a gift for what I thought was a significant occasion!

onlyroz

There is a definite difference between being careful with money, and taking advantage, e.g. accepting drinks/food/taxis/car-lifts but never giving anything in return.

I think in the long run you lose out if you deliberately take advantage. We had a "friend" who would always invite himself to dinner with us (we used to eat out regularly on saturdays) but would often say, after eating a 3-course-meal, "oops, I've got no money". After one such occasion we decided just to stop eating out with him - to the extent of pretending at the end of saturday afternoon that we were going home, and then sneaking off to a restaurant once he'd caught his bus.

I know somebody else who would always accept drinks but never buy a round himself - after a while he stopped getting invites when we went out for a drink.

On the other hand, I wouldn't have a problem if somebody wanted to buy their own drinks or food separately, because they were on a budget.

Saturnalia

I think the same as what everyone else has said, there's a world of difference between being careful or just-plain-skint and being a miser or !!!!!!!!!!, and it's easy to tell who fits which category!

Oregon

Oh and it annoys me when people suggest a 'cheap night in' at yours and dont so much as bring a bottle of wine of a bag of popcorn but merrily drink & munch all of yours!!!

Yeah - cheap night in indeed!!!

tony_ack

Just a quick one to balance it up a little...

When I was a student the boot was pretty much on the other foot. When I was out with friends from uni, we would all pay our fair share as we were all in the same boat, but at family occasions it was different. The fact was that my parents have quite expensive tastes (much to their detriment years later) and would go to fairly good restaurants and pubs for birthdays, at Christmas, and even just for the sake of it. When I told them I couldn't afford it, they offered to pay for me, as they would rather I was there, than me being absent and them saving some money. They still didn't quite get that when I said I couldn't afford it, I meant I couldn't afford the restaurant, drinks, taxi, and train fares to get to and from uni, so I ended up still spending money I didn't have anyway. It didn't feel good to know that I'd missed paying for a round, or I was getting my meal paid for, but to be fair a round would cost me the same as a week's food shopping.

It's different these days. First of all my parents can't afford to go out much any more, and on the rare occasions we do, we all pay our way - and it feels a lot better for me.

Trazy

I cannot stand tight people. :mad:

I live on a limited income myself and if I couldn't afford to pay my way I would turn down an invitation.

QueenB.

There is a big difference between being careful and being tight, as everyone else have said.

My otherhalf is a misguided miser lol. sometimes he will go all out to save a couple of pence on something and his favourite saying when we go shopping is ' do we have voucers for this stuff' whilst this attitude was necessary to get us out of debt he saves a few pennies in one place and then overspends on something completely un-needed that he just had to have. When we go for a day with the kids he hates spending money on things he considers rubbish, but it is often something i have budgeted for and something they want because they enjoy it.

But saying all that he will help any friend in need he just hates putting a few pence in a charity jar:o