What is the most embarrassing thing that you have been through

gunsandbanjos

DianneB wrote: »

We were at a school concert, a young girl was playing the violin, badly, my son whispered 'we've brought you a hammer' (Eddie Izzard) nothing but nothing could stop us laughing.

That really made me laugh, thank you I've had a terrible 24 hours and needed a smile.

On a similar note I went to a wedding last year and the minister declared they were going to read from St Paul's letters to the corinthians:rotfl: I am very proud of myself for not actually laughing out loud.

MissKeith

Some of these are pure gold!

When I was 18/19 I went to a water park in Dubai with my family and my sister and I went on one of those ride where you sit in a tube and hold onto two handles as you get fired down a tunnel propelled by jets of water. Anyway, as I was wearing a bikini, I held onto the ring with one hand and my bottoms in the other. I got to the bottom safely and was shot into a pool where I waited for my sister to come out. Suddenly I heard the lifeguard blowing her whistle and a bunch of guys who were stood round the side laughing. I was looking round for the source of the trouble when my sister appeared beside me and screeched "Miss Keith! Your top!!". Yep, my bikini top was sitting around my waist and my boobs were completely akimbo, unashamedly out for the world to see.

I wanted to drown right there in the lazy river.

Gra76

Having a vasectomy is bad enough as it is.

Having your tackle out on display isn't the most relaxing thing.

I was originally led to believe that there would be 2 surgeons and a couple of nurses in the operating theatre.

I ended up with 2 surgeons, half a dozen (female) nurses and 2 student (female) nurses in the room.

It was cold too.

I think I was probably inverted at that point.

All 8 of those women have seen me at my smallest....I had a face like beetroot and it didn't help listening to one of the student nurses giggling away like a 5 year old through half of it.

hazyjo

Apologising in advance for being a post-hogger. My life is/has been filled with embarrassing moments. Hanging head in shame as I type...

Knickers
Have done the knickers thing too. Hungover from the night before, grabbed jeans off clothes heap on floor, only to have my black thong zoom out of the leg and land in front of me in the middle of B&Q. Had no idea what it was or where it had come from so kept peering at it until the penny dropped. Picked them up a bit sharpish!

Revolving door
Went for a job interview from hell - which was embarrassing enough. Flew through the first interview, got perfect test results, got on well with the woman, so she'd arranged a 2nd interview - but the bloke hated me. Looked me up and down and said, 'You're way too young'. I was actually 30 at the time! I couldn't get out of there quick enough. Some woman got into the revolving door in front of me and I jumped in the same 'segment'. They were really only meant for one and we had to do these tiny little foot shuffles to make it go round enough to get us both out. The bloke was watching. (Another interview the woman said to me 'Oh. You're rather short, dear, aren't you!' (I was in flat shoes and I'm 5'2". Didn't get that one either...)

Chinese
My sister's shame (for a change). Went to pick a takeaway up one night with my mum and nephew. They said 'merry Christmas' to her as she left. She replied with 'happy Chinese!'. She's never lived it down.

(Got the giggles again already...)

Bye
We had important clients in one day at work and I had to do a rare stint on Reception. Was 6pm and I was packing up to go home. Client left and headed for the lifts. Shouted 'bye' at me. I replied with 'Nunnight!'.

Hands
Was at a wedding reception once. Went to the bar, knowing my then BF was there. Thought I'd stood next to him but he must have moved. Reached out for his hand, but realised several minutes later, I was holding the hand of some other bloke (who'd decided not to tell me, just gave me a leery grin when I looked at him!).

Postie
Got asked out by the postman at work once. Went for a drink at lunchtime in a pub very close to the office. Wasn't expecting him to turn up in full postie outfit, sack 'n' all. Kept saying hello to everyone by the bar as he knew them all from his rounds.

The BF's mum
Was only 17 and hadn't been together that long. Managed to say 'incest sticks' instead of 'incense sticks' and fart when I sneezed all in the same afternoon. (Never fart in front of anyone so deeply embarrassing!)

Squawk
Was waiting at the bus stop one day - lots of other people there - when a giant seagull decided it was going crap all over my newly washed hair. I kid ye not, it covered half my head and face and stunk to high heaven! Ewww.

Escalator
Was on a packed escalator at Victoria station in rush hour (often closed due to overcrowding - truly a nightmare). Can usually walk down left hand side, but was so packed, people were standing both sides on all escalators. Bloke in front had a suitcase next to him, and decided he was going to pass out flat across the step so nobody would have been able to get past. I was trying not to panic and reached across for the emergency button and slammed it hard. The up-escalator next to me ground to a halt instead of mine (OMG so shamed faced and apologetic). Tried explaining, but blokie in front of me had disappeared into thin air! Really swear I didn't imagine it...

Lost property
Managed to lose my favourite shoe the other week. Found it on a street corner and had to pick it up sopping wet around 5 days later and walk home with it - passing lots of onlookers. Have to say, I was secretly chuffed as had been devastated at losing it! Also managed to leave a bag with four bras in in the pub a while back. Took three visits and conversations with various staff members to get them back. I'm not exactly small (they call me 'Jugs' at work just to give you an idea) so that was pretty embarrassing...

Cossie
Had to use the disabled loo at my old work once as the cubicles were out of order. Lock didn't seem to go round properly, but door appeared secure so ignored it and headed over to the loo (quite a way from door). For some bizarre reason, I was wearing a swimming costume as a top, with a thin top over that. Had to put the top over my head while I pulled the cossie down to use loo. To my horror, the door opened... (I screamed.) To this day, I have no idea who saw me as my top was halfway over my face at the time.


Probably not going to elaborate on the time I got locked indoors and had to wait for the postman to pass my key through the letterbox for him to let me out (only had key to outside lock and was horrendously late for work), the time my cardigan got attached to someone while trying to get off a bus. Both caught round the central pole by the exit doors as people were barging round either side of us and we couldn't go backwards for a while. The time I fainted when a friend gave blood (didn't even see it, just saw her after) and had to be carried to a car outside. The time there were hot sausages and nibbles in the kitchen at work - they used to get left there saying 'help yourselves' when they'd done too many, so I thought mmmm, starvin' and stuffed quite a few in. Heard later someone was going mad that you couldn't put something down for more than 2 mins without some greedy so and so eating it (was someone's lunch). I never owned up. The time I got in the back of a wrong car. The time my old boss called me into his office only to ask me to go buy nipple pads, sanitary towels and paper knickers for his wife who was about to give birth. The time I walked to the station in odd coloured shoes...

And please please don't get me started on falling over. Endless. Skidded flat out twice on a flower near home (in tears once as it effing hurt), skidded with a cup of boiling tomato soup in my hand, jumped off a train too soon once, skipping along like something out of Singing in the Rain until I fell over sideways. The time I fell over after flirting with someone all night, wiggling off down the road knowing he was watching me, only to fall flat on my face in the middle of the road. Another outside Cannon Street in rush hour. Tripped over a cable in the road and cut an inch long gash in my leg. Another dripping gash on my leg when I tripped up the train step at Cannon Street and smashed it into my shin. Hundreds of others. I fall over every couple of months, I'd say. Usually ending in tears of shame rather than pain.

Oh dear. I really don't know how I'm let out of the house unaccompanied every morning...

Jx

Fuzzy_Duck

This thread is so amazing I've read it twice now!

Sadly most of my embarrassing moments are atributed to booze:

During a weekend visit at my boyfriend's house, I stupidly drank as much wine as my friends, who were both older and bigger than me. I felt fine... right until they left. I got to the toilet in time and my OH held my hair back. I was torn between being sick and passing out, so I kept telling him I wanted to go to bed then realising I needed to be sick again. Poor man was dragging me back and forth for ages. I woke up the next morning in my pyjamas- I'd passed out eventually and OH had put me into 'more comfortable' clothes before tucking me in his bed.

I toddled into the bathroom that morning feeling fine again and noticed OH's jeans thrown into a corner. It turned out that what with me changing my mind constantly, OH had gone to drag me to bed just as I was going to be sick. I threw up in his crotch. Surprisingly he is still my OH. You know you love someone when you're cool with that kind of thing...

Another time I drank a friend's home made cocktail. It tasted really nice and orangey. I genuinely had no idea he had put every spirit he owned into it, which is worrying in itself. I was sick in the bathroom and then promptly passed out on the floor. As I fell I turned on a hair dryer on the floor. One of my girlfriends was bashing at the door for ages fearing the worst before I mustered up enough strength to unlock the door. She insisted on taking me to her flat, which was in the same building, so I could get some sleep away from the party. I had to be carried into the lift by my OH and another male friend. Apparently the other people in the lift thought I'd had my drink spiked and the two men responsible were those carrying my limp form away.

Needless to say I don't drink much these days.

fudgecat

I have had surgery on one of my ankles. Occasionally it gives way, causing me to lurch sideways from a standing position. This happened at the supermarket while buying several bottles of wine on promotion offer. You could see the young checkout lad looking for the AA members badge...

fudgecat

Just remembered... when I was in secondary school with a friend: we were walking in the school grounds chatting animatedly when my friend walked around the duck weed covered pond and I walked straight into it! I had to go to the next lesson with a tidemark of green scum, mud and duck weed over my school skirt. My friend said it was hilarious, one minute I was walking along side and the next I disapeared with a splash.

pulliptears

More recently....

On holiday, quite a few family members in the club house of a caravan park and we decide to do the quiz. Lots of loud music and chattering going on and we decide to go with the team name "The Pheasant Pluckers". BIL shouts across the table and asks again what we are calling the team as he is about to start writing it on the forms.

Cue every bit of music in the club stopping, everyone going completely silent just in time for me to shout "The Pleasant Fnuckers!" across the room.... I never could say it

Saturnalia

Fuzzy_Duck wrote: »

This thread is so amazing I've read it twice now!

Sadly most of my embarrassing moments are atributed to booze:

During a weekend visit at my boyfriend's house, I stupidly drank as much wine as my friends, who were both older and bigger than me. I felt fine... right until they left. I got to the toilet in time and my OH held my hair back. I was torn between being sick and passing out, so I kept telling him I wanted to go to bed then realising I needed to be sick again. Poor man was dragging me back and forth for ages. I woke up the next morning in my pyjamas- I'd passed out eventually and OH had put me into 'more comfortable' clothes before tucking me in his bed.

I toddled into the bathroom that morning feeling fine again and noticed OH's jeans thrown into a corner. It turned out that what with me changing my mind constantly, OH had gone to drag me to bed just as I was going to be sick. I threw up in his crotch. Surprisingly he is still my OH. You know you love someone when you're cool with that kind of thing...

Another time I drank a friend's home made cocktail. It tasted really nice and orangey. I genuinely had no idea he had put every spirit he owned into it, which is worrying in itself. I was sick in the bathroom and then promptly passed out on the floor. As I fell I turned on a hair dryer on the floor. One of my girlfriends was bashing at the door for ages fearing the worst before I mustered up enough strength to unlock the door. She insisted on taking me to her flat, which was in the same building, so I could get some sleep away from the party. I had to be carried into the lift by my OH and another male friend. Apparently the other people in the lift thought I'd had my drink spiked and the two men responsible were those carrying my limp form away.

Needless to say I don't drink much these days.

Oh dear, that reminds me of a time getting puddled on cider & black in my student union, then walking back to halls my boyfriend decided to run up behind me, fling me backwards over his shoulder and jump up and down for the length of the pavement. He put me down and I threw up, covering him and his white shirt and cream trousers from head to foot in lurid purple vom.:rotfl:

He spent the whole weekend whining that his outfit was ruined. Seriously, what did he think was going to happen there?

pawsies

Shouting 'I love you' to an old guy outside Asda. Whoops, damn boyfriend was too slow

Think he loved it though

Also in town centre, decided to top up car water but couldn't open the bonnet. Tried doing it for about 20 mins (no one came to help...) and eventually managed to open it but I was just slightly embarrassed