Aspirations for your school-aged children??

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Good question as my little lad starts school on Tuesday for the first time!!

As a parent I guess I would like to lead by example (values /humour / kindness etc) and I believe in being pro-education i.e encouraging them to do their best in school / being supportive.

However I also think you can't put in what God left out and if he is not academic or sporty so be it. I think all of us are good at something and I would hope I can guide him to find what he is good at and enjoys and then support him in that.

I would like him to have good memories of his childhood / good relationship with him mum and me and wider family / friends.

Today we built a 'house' on his bed with sofa cushions, pillows, blankets etc and he enjoyed demolishing (again and again) the cushion house by him jumping on the roof of it squashing daddy inside, he said "it was his best day ever".:)

When I go and meet the big "super nanny" in the sky one day, I would like to be able to look her in the eye and honestly say for all my limitations & mistakes (as we all have) as a parent / person, I still tried to do the best I could for my little lad.

Best,

mountainofdebt

Well if Junior had wanted to be a binman (not that there's anything wrong in being a binman I hasten to add then if that's what he wanted to be then so be it. Oh the other requirement was what ever he wanted to do had to be legal!

I've often told him that I will be his fiercest critic but also fight his corner to the hilt if he wants me to....and have demonstrated both on numerous occasions!

rainbow81

Hello - I live in an affluent area, by pure chance after a job move. The first thing I noticed was the lack of variety of people from different cultures or even different ages, so I think you can actually do the opposite of opening a child's mind by moving to a "better area".

You can "hothouse" your children, lots of people do, but there is a school of thought that says to be an adult who contributes to society, has good morals, etc, what you need is to really enjoy your childhood. Put simply, a child's job is being a child. There is plenty of time to have the pressures of adulthood, and without a secure base (lovely childhood) it is harder to deal with them well. There is another school of thought that says that far from "bad kids" bringing the "good kids" down in a school, it is actually a 2 way thing and the "good kids" can help the kids with more difficulties aspire to do more. Whether you are prepared to test this on your own children is another matter, but I see the logic.

That's not to say I never fell for the propaganda, but there is far more pressure to do tennis/swimming/ballet lessons in a nicer area

Saying that, I always felt that the more confident children at school had outside interests and friends from things such as horse riding/orchestra. I think it's easier to resist negative peer pressure when there is more to your life than school.

If you asked this question on a site not dedicated to moneysaving I am sure you would get a much different response...

mountainofdebt

rainbow81 wrote: »

That's not to say I never fell for the propaganda, but there is far more pressure to do tennis/swimming/ballet lessons in a nicer area

Saying that, I always felt that the more confident children at school had outside interests and friends from things such as horse riding/orchestra. I think it's easier to resist negative peer pressure when there is more to your life than school.

If you asked this question on a site not dedicated to moneysaving I am sure you would get a much different response...

Whilst I agree with your sentiment that children who have outside interests generally tend to be more rounded, I found it interesting that you've mentioned activities which tend to be more - how can I put this nicely - middle/upper class?

So children who play rugby or football or say go to Army Cadets learn any social skills ? I've seen right little **** come to a Cadet unit and become responsible, well turned out young adults in a matter of years in spite of their surroundings.

As I said I have always wanted Junior to be happy and healthy - after all what's the point in having a high flying career if he's neither?

balletshoes

Cadets are fabulous for guiding kids and giving them some structure - my brother was in the Army Cadets and he loved it - even the uniform ironing and getting up at stupid o'clock in the morning at camp.

Molly41

I think I have high aspirations for my kids in that I expect them to behave well, be polite and well mannered and try their hardest. Now that is different for each of them as they have differing abilities but it really upsets me that my eldest son is currently wasting his God given talents.

I made the conscious decision to live in an area that was safe for my kids to play out. We also worked hard so that they each had their own bedroom when they were older. This was at the expense of foreign holidays or posh cars!

make_me_wise

plzhelpmesave! wrote: »

Do you have high aspirations for your (young) kids and push them to be all they can? What sacrifices/big life changes have you made to help your kids get a better start?


We have started to think about selling up and moving to a better area with better schools and a wider mix of people in the neighbourhood, so the kids get more and want to ahieve more out of life.

Currently, they are great kids (not that im biased!), but I want them to stay great and be really motivated to become proactive, happy and contributing citizens - not asking for much eh?

We can't really afford to move, so just thinking and researching at the moment, and wondered what other parents think or have done in the past?

Many thanks

You sound like a great parent. Im not a parent just yet, as only 5 months pregnant. However I am a teacher of year 3 children ages 7-8. It has been noticed by myself and my colleagues that the kids that achieve the most have really advanced social skills.

They are very polite, say please and thank you, they listen well to adults and to their peers, they are confidant enough to put up their hands and try to contribute. If they get things wrong they learn by it and it doesn't throw them. They deal with conflict well and have a good circle of friends. They also take advantage of alot of the school clubs and have a wide range of interests.

It has long been recognised that education is only partly about being academic. These children are socially aware and a pleasure to be around. Some seem years ahead of others around them.

I think if you are going to concentrate on doing anything to help your child achieve their full potential this would be a very good place to start.

make_me_wise

Bestthingsinlifearefree wrote: »

Good question as my little lad starts school on Tuesday for the first time!!

As a parent I guess I would like to lead by example (values /humour / kindness etc) and I believe in being pro-education i.e encouraging them to do their best in school / being supportive.

However I also think you can't put in what God left out and if he is not academic or sporty so be it. I think all of us are good at something and I would hope I can guide him to find what he is good at and enjoys and then support him in that.

I would like him to have good memories of his childhood / good relationship with him mum and me and wider family / friends.

Today we built a 'house' on his bed with sofa cushions, pillows, blankets etc and he enjoyed demolishing (again and again) the cushion house by him jumping on the roof of it squashing daddy inside, he said "it was his best day ever".:)

When I go and meet the big "super nanny" in the sky one day, I would like to be able to look her in the eye and honestly say for all my limitations & mistakes (as we all have) as a parent / person, I still tried to do the best I could for my little lad.

Best,

I wish every child that came into my class had such a great dad. What a lucky little boy he is. Hope he loves his first day at school on Tuesday.

Bestthingsinlifearefree

make_me_wise wrote: »

I wish every child that came into my class had such a great dad. What a lucky little boy he is. Hope he loves his first day at school on Tuesday.

Thanks. He tried on his school uniform yesterday and he looked all grown up and really smart:) My wife ironed on all his name labels.

He is really excited / positive about going to school and is counting down the days. The school have done a great job by having a few sessions before the summer where all the new children spent a couple of hours with their new teacher / class mates and as parents we feel we have a rapport / channel of communication open with his future teacher etc (at least we have met / put a name to the face etc)

I agree that social and communication skills are key for children to get the most out of school. I try to spend time talking to my lad, playing puzzles, board games (indirectly teaching him to take turns / follow rules of the game / concentrate), answering his questions, read to him each night (even when I am struggling to keep my eyes open after a long day at work). I think learning through play is best pre-school.

Now he is pulling at my are saying "dad what are you doing, can we play the cushion house building game again"........but to preserve mums sofa we have decided on moon sand instead )

Best

make_me_wise

I am glad you feel happy about the communication between yourself and the school, best. It is something highly encouraged at the school I work at too. I dont know how they work it at your boys school but when I taught foundation stage I use to put a notice up outside the classroom each week to let the parents know what the children would be learning and explaining how each part of the curriculum helped them develop. It was really in the hopes that parents would practice things at home with their chidlren. If this doesn't happen at your boys school you can always ask a teacher what they are covering and a good one would be happy to tell you.

It is fantastic to read with kids every day. Even just 10-15 minutes makes such a difference to their word bank, imagination and eventually writing skills. An assessment will be carried out by a teacher in the first few weeks and a recommended reading level set. I use to have a home/school book for my pupils where I would log the reading I had done with them and so would the parents.

The turn taking is a big skill for foundation kids to master. Sounds like you are doing everything right to me and have given your son the best possible start to his school life. The one thing I miss most about not teaching that age group any more is seeing the parents on the first day of school and how excited everyone is. Enjoy dropping him off, its a magic moment.