Trying to help parents out but dont know whats best?!

Savvy_Sue

shopping_addict wrote: »

Anyways, I know they're not keen on selling up and moving house as this can be stressful and this is the last thing my dad needs really..although the stress of money troubles isn't helping either I suppose..

I see what you're saying, but if you think the stress of moving now would be difficult, think what it could be like in a year or two or five, if either of them is less mobile, or they really NEED to move to a more suitable property in a hurry.

I'm not saying that's a clinching argument, but it is definitely worth making sure that the house they are in now is or can be 'future-proofed'.

My own parents are a good example of what not to do: they downsized to a new area and a house still far too large for their needs (5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen diner, dining room, lounge and study, plus a utility room and toilet). There are small floor level changes between some of the downstairs rooms, just little 'blips' in the floor, but Mum is prone to trips. There's a front door and a back door, and no way you could get a wheelchair through either of them, should the need arise, because in both cases you're met with a barrier that means you need to turn through 90 degrees.

Dad was desperate to move, Mum wouldn't hear of it. And he was too ill to do much about it before he died. So Mum rattles round this house, which by the way is also the 'wrong' side of town to one of my siblings. She's happy enough, but if she had died before Dad we would have had a nightmare on our hands because he'd have wanted out in a hurry.

firesidemaid

i also pay my mum's mobile bill, as she doesn't do direct debits and she was getting no value out of payg.

after all the years of them bringing us up and paying for everything, it's lovely to be able to help them where possible - their cupboards and freezer are still stocked as if the entire family still live at home full-time:).

i will book cheap hotel deals for them every so often and send them all the coupons and vouchers i get. i also buy stuff they use in bulk where it has long dates on or when i know i will see them soon.

i think they spent so long managing the household budget and going without for us, that now they are retired they just want to enjoy themselves and spend what they have, while they are in good health. they are not in debt, but what savings they have are diminshing rapidly.

Mrs_Money

My parents did this some time ago- their experiences are not to be recommended.
1. Their solicitor begged them not to do it (but they needed the money)
2. She also begged them to make a will (estates are more complex after Equity release) - they haven't/won't.
3. They "sold" a frighteningly large portion (sorry can't remember the figures) for a very small amount, bearing in mind the value of their property at the time.
4. The Equity release company demand a yearly inspection and make a report on the house. This report says things like "Bathroom needs updating" (it's not white and has the original suite and kitchen units from when the house was built 30 odd years ago).
5. Considering number 4 above, I am seriously wondering if after their deaths we may face a bill for "updating" before the Equity company sell it (which of course will leave nothing in the estate at all). I'm not bothered about inheriting, but I have a feeling we may be asked to stump up cash for this updating - I wouldn't and of course would fight this - but who knows? Of course my parents have blind faith in the company and think no such thing is possible

If there is any other way - do it. I now wish I and my siblings had bought my parents' house from them, allowing them to rent it back from us (this has to be done to avoid possible accusations of deprivation of assets by the local authority if care is needed in the future) - it would have been a financial squeeze as prices were high then - but we probably could have managed it between us.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing!

margaretclare

This highlights the awful end of the scale of equity release, the kind of scenario that gets the whole thing a bad name.

We did equity release in 2003 and our experience has been completely different. No one has come along and demanded a yearly inspection/updating! We didn't do it because we needed the money - our reason was simply that we had a repayment mortgage ongoing and we saw no point in continuing until it was paid off when we'd be 83.

Not sure why estates are more complex after equity release - the 'lifetime mortgage' will be paid off on the death of the second of us and whatever is left is the residue of our estate, to be divvied up according to our wills. Everyone should make a will - everyone!

Also, because of the low Bank Rate, the interest on our lifetime mortgage has not rolled-up at the rate we were warned it might.