What financial help do you get when you have children?

claire16c

Cant you overpay on the loan to get it cleared quicker?

I have to say in your situation I would be trying to start a family because in a couple of years your fertility levels will drastically decline.

wannabedebtfree_2

moaning_myrtle wrote: »

I didn't think my salary was classed as "high", and hubby works hard at his business and only in recent years seen his salary increase. We had a big lavish wedding and that is where the debt comes from. I don't mean to be rude, but I came on here asking for advice, I thought that was the idea of the forum, I didn't expect to get judged by my debt.

That is the point of the forums, there are even notices telling people to be understanding and helpful and not pass judgement but some do it anyway, I think it's how they get their kicks.

Having read these boards for years and years I'll never get over how quick people are to judge. So you've ended up in debt even though you earn good money, you're not the only one! Thank goodness there are some people out there that want to give you genuine advice.

I assume you've tried the calculator on http://www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx

How much longer does your loan run for? Could you use your excess monthly income to pay it off sooner so that you could start a family?
You need to sit down and work out whether you could afford all of the household bills (no fancy foreign holidays or £50 nights out included EDIT - just read the rest of the thread, insert no takeaways in place of night's out!, just the basics) purely on your partners wage (do a worse case scenario). I'm pretty sure I could run my household on his income and end up with money left over, so you might be pleasantly surprised, you might not need the child tax credits but you would still get £20 child benefit.

With childcare costs so high it might be best for you not to work until the baby goes to school, but that is up to you. Sometimes it works out better financially (and in my opinion better for the child) for one parent to be the stay-at-home carer, there would be little point in working 40 hours a week and spending very little time with your small child if childcare swallowed up 85% of what you had earnt. Once they are at school you can find a job and pay a lot less childcare (during term time).

Best of luck with your decision x

System

Thanks for all your advice.

We spoke last night and went over the figures and we have agreed try and get rid of the loan next year. We could do it, which is pretty crazy considering there is still 3 years left on it!

If I'm being honest neither of us are happy about leaving it another year, but yes it is the mess we have got ourself into, we acknowledge that. We are on target to pay £12k to our debt this year...and if we pay off the loan next year, thats the around £30k to debt in 2 years...I think thats a pretty good achievement. Going by the comments I've had so far, I know some people are going to hit me back with comments that its not really an achievement because its debt, etc. But people need to realise that everyone is different. A lot of people think its completely acceptable to buy alcohol every week, as a "treat"...I don't drink, but you don't see me judging anyone on doing that. So for people to make comments about being willing to spend that amount of money on a wedding, its just plain rude, and like others have said, not in the nature of the forum.

We are very worried about our age causing us any problems when we do start trying for a baby, but hopefully leaving it a year won't make a difference.

Torry_Quine

moaning_myrtle wrote: »

Thanks for all your advice.

We spoke last night and went over the figures and we have agreed try and get rid of the loan next year. We could do it, which is pretty crazy considering there is still 3 years left on it!

If I'm being honest neither of us are happy about leaving it another year, but yes it is the mess we have got ourself into, we acknowledge that. We are on target to pay £12k to our debt this year...and if we pay off the loan next year, thats the around £30k to debt in 2 years...I think thats a pretty good achievement. Going by the comments I've had so far, I know some people are going to hit me back with comments that its not really an achievement because its debt, etc. But people need to realise that everyone is different. A lot of people think its completely acceptable to buy alcohol every week, as a "treat"...I don't drink, but you don't see me judging anyone on doing that. So for people to make comments about being willing to spend that amount of money on a wedding, its just plain rude, and like others have said, not in the nature of the forum.

We are very worried about our age causing us any problems when we do start trying for a baby, but hopefully leaving it a year won't make a difference.

Good that you have sat down and come up with a plan to pay off the debt. I hope everything works out well for you.

jellyhead

same here, best of luck.

Also, if you decide not to work or find you have enough time, there was ways to make a baby cheaper. you could use washable nappies for example, hunt for things on ebay and freecycle, scour the charity shops for baby clothes, make your own baby food and meals for the two of you instead of takeaways, buying from the pound shop, savers and other cheaper places for toiletries and cleaning products. You could go to the market for cheaper fruit and veg.

You mention posh toilet roll some of the cheaper nappy brands are just as good as pampers and huggies if you are using disposables. I found tesco nappies fine.

System

jellyhead wrote: »

same here, best of luck.

Also, if you decide not to work or find you have enough time, there was ways to make a baby cheaper. you could use washable nappies for example, hunt for things on ebay and freecycle, scour the charity shops for baby clothes, make your own baby food and meals for the two of you instead of takeaways, buying from the pound shop, savers and other cheaper places for toiletries and cleaning products. You could go to the market for cheaper fruit and veg.

You mention posh toilet roll some of the cheaper nappy brands are just as good as pampers and huggies if you are using disposables. I found tesco nappies fine.

Thanks for the advice. Although we don't have any family for childcare cover, we do have a lot of kids within our circle, and will be more than happy with all the hand-me-downs we are assuming we will get - haha! I suppose thats the good side to being last to have babies!ha

I know people are saying I might not need to work, but I'm fairly sure I will work. Although i'd love to be with baby all the time, I think it would be hard just on hubby's wage. Although obviously he is on a great salary, it might not always be the case. Plus I suppose we didn't wait this long to "do it the right way" to then possibly struggle. The only reason I mentioned the option of me not working, is because people who come back to work part-time always come out with comments like "its not worth my while coming back full-time", and when I question it I really only get told tax credits make up their money. It must just be that their join income with their husbands isn't as high as ours. Its funny, I always think our joint income isn't as good as others...just goes to show! Maybe we can afford a new house!ha ha i'm joking!

jellyhead

People on low incomes can get quite a bit of their childcare bill back in tax credits, but I think the thresholds are coming down every year.

I was on minimum wage when I went on maternity leave, and I did the sums and realised I would be worse off if I worked. That was paying childcare for 1 baby and one schoolchild though, and I would have had to pay the full day price for childcare even though my shift was only 5 hours.

If it had been a job I loved and was desperate to return to then perhaps it would have been worth making a loss on those early years just to keep the job - I know people who've made that choice.

gingergee

RE: takeaways!! I loooove takeaway but cant afford it (and am watching my weight lol) so me and the hubby (sometimes the kids too) all have a challenge as to what takeaway we can re-create at home. we google the recipie, source cheap and nutritiuos food, open a bottle of wine and get cooking!! its fun and saves loads! also teaches the kids that food doesnt always appear! this week we are doing chicken in orange sauce! you could try it and put the extra money you would have spent in a jar, call it "the baby fund" xx good luck x

molly22

none of us can afford children! they are extremely expensive to run.
But there are millions in the world. if we all saved up to have a child the world would die tomorrow.

i had a husband on a good salary and a 5yr old child. life was sweet so we decided to have another child.
my husband died 6 weeks before second child was born, and so my emotional and financial support was suddently gone.

but we coped, (no other choice)

you sound like you and your hubby have a very good relationship, which is far more important than money.

good luck!:j