301k in debt and morbidly obese - things aren't great!

Polly_Wolly_Doodle

You can do it Bloater, we had to take the ultimate step but there was no other way, i'm hoping with Mrs B's new job and your kindling and ebaying you can turn this round without any formal steps.
Think most of the folk here who ebay will again have a spreadsheet that lists selling price, P&P charged and then subtracts p&p paid, paypal fees and ebay fees. If you click the 'account' tab on your ebay summary page it tells you what your fees have racked up to.

I've just been stung by selling on amazon as they suggest your price and then pay you after their deductions leaving me with less money than i'd spent on postage, schoolgirl error, i should have engaged brain and read the small print . So i'll be back to ebay as at least the figures are there!

I really want to see your SOA and don't be afraid if your income is high, you live down south, have children and credit - we'll be gentle, promise:D! And it'll help you to gather all the info together and really see what's happening.

cats_slave

Mr. B. As a teacher you will know that it is counter productive to keep telling someone that they are stupid, or even that their actions are stupid. It eats away at self-esteem and saps energy which should be saved for the task in hand. You are no different from the rest of us, so stop abusing yourself pronto.

You are NOT stupid. You are a fallible human being. Treat yourself with the repect that you deserve.

If I may be so bold, I think a big problem you have is in trying too hard to do too much at once. As a consequence you just don't have the time to follow through fully in each area.

Of course you are trying to sort the problems of money and health for your family's sake. And this is very commendable. Give yourself credit for this. But if the money has started to control you rather than you being in control of it, you need a plan to get back in charge.

This is your priority. You need a plan for getting back in control. You need a Statement of Affairs. If you don't want to put one on the forum that's Ok, although it might help if you did. But at least make a detailed and fully accurate statement for yourself and Mrs B to study. See where your money is going, down to the last penny. If you can't do this because you don't have the info., then get the info. You can't control your money without knowing where it is going. If neccessary do a spending diary. Write down everything, and that means everything, that you and Mrs B spend.

Then make a budget. If you have a budget already it ibviously isn't working well so revise it to be totally realistic. You may find that you are committed to spending more than is coming in. If so you will have to cut back on something. Make sure that from now on no money goes out that isn't allocated. If there is no allocation you can't spend it. That is the discipline you need to impose on yourselves. In a couple of months you should have every possible spend covered. YOU WILL HAVE TO SPEND LESS THAN YOU ARE NOW. You cannot rely on ebay (or Kindle) to cover you for spendings higher than your income. They are not reliable enough.

When, and only when, your spending is less than your income does ebay, Kindle etc come into their own. These will give you extra money to pay off the debts quicker. Or to spend on extras. But forget ebay and Kindle until the first goal of control has been achieved and well consolidated.

Have a plan, stick to it for as long as it takes and don't spend what you haven't got. Most people have some leeway to cut back on their grocery spending to regain control.

As far a running is concerned, forget that also until the Christmas Holidays. You will have time then, hopefully to fully focus on the controlling money task and perhaps think through and formulate a realistic weight loss/ running plan.

I haven't forgotten my offer on your ebooks, but I too have had to prioritise over the last couple of weeks. I don't want a reference. I'm retired. I always enjoy new experiences, but I don't actually need the experience for anything in particular. However I'm quite sure we can work out someting reciprocal (but not money) if that suits you better. However, Kindle needs to be on the backburner at least until the New Year.

Mr B., you write well. You are hugely entertaining, and I think all your readers appreciate this, but you are in a spot of bother at the moment and everyone will be happy to forego the entertainment and support you on the boring, but essential road to money control and debt reduction. Weight loss and fitness too in due course.

(Sorry, but I haven't worked out how to spell check yet.).

Best of luck to you and Mrs B.

I, and I think everyone here, has confidence that you can do this

vka1

Oh Mr B,

What a pain. You've already had a lot of wise words on budgeting and not beating yourself about a blip in an otherwise extradinary journey into living a new way, so I'm not ging to repeat. But will add my tuppenceworth....I can completely understand the juggling frustration and getting it wrong.

The only thing i've found works for me is taking enough cash out on a sunday to cover my food, fuel, day to day spends from my budget so that there's enough left in the pot (cash, card or otherwise) to cover the other stuff that comes along. It's become a bit of a game seeing how much I have left at the end of the week and certainly made me think twice about every penny. Paying in cash is much harder than plastic. Feels more real, and you become quite addicted to ensuring there's always something left in your purse....I still keep a spending diary too.

Stick with it and us. You're far better off than when you started in all sorts of ways, keep going. You've proven to yourself you can face it all head on and this is the sprained ankle of finance and not the abyss - you've already saved yourself from that fate!

V

patman99

Mr.B. Nice to see someone else who still pays for their Ebay parcels at the P/O counter rather than online. This helps keep your P/O alive.
What people do not realise is that every time you pay for postage or collect your pension, or, indeed, use any counter service, the P/O gets a % in commission. This goes on account against their operating costs. If these costs don't recover 40% of the operating costs, then the P/O is at risk of closure.

All those people who sell a 100 items a month online, then pay online for postage are taking money away from their local P/O. They are the first to complain when the branch closes, but it is them that have brought-about the closure with their actions in the first place.

MrBloater

The thanks button is so unsuitable for the sincere level of thanks I owe those who have recently posted - it is much appreciated during this wobble in the Bloater saga - my fairly regular postings here are just about keeping the whole thing ticking over when all else has gone to pieces. But, tis not all doom and gloom, this morning Mrs B showed me the totals on the CCs which are (miraculously) down from last month - she has not been slack with her ones and so we are still with heads firmly above water. We also plan this weekend to update our predictor so we can see month by month what is coming up, and this evening prior to being on here I have started constructing a giant spreadsheet for my ebaying - consisting of all the usuals, plus weights (from the certificates of posting) and so should a) be able to give a price for postage immediately to overseas customers seeing as I've now sold to Aus, US, Germany, France etc, and b) finally get an answer to my nagging doubt as to whether I actually am making any money from doing this. Only a third of the way there as am having to get some info from ebay, some from paypal and some from my post office reciepts. It won't all get done tonight but when it's built it should be fairly easy to update and might make me realise that some of my lower quality records that refuse to sell would be better off at a charity shop rather than going to a load of effort for possibly 25p return. But the big weightloss/moneysaving event of the week is another encounter with the Shed on Saturday. Come inevitable rain or unlikely shine (or even possible snow) I will be out there at 6am embarking upon the clearout of all clearouts. Everything is coming out of there, and every box will be opened up and checked through ready to be filed into Tip/Charity/Carboot/Ebay/Shed. I'm planning on putting sheets out on the back garden to signify the different zones and once the kids get up and start playing with all the clutter and powertools it's going to be a cross between Runaround (I'm cutting quite a late 70s Mike Read figure once again now I've stopped the running), Driller Killer, and My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.
SOAs: Have one, isn't anything much (aside from the Sky - which was the Direct Debit that bounced back - and even on that we dropped the HD) that I could get shot of - and the Disney Channel variants keep my little 'uns amused, and me and Mrs B love the Discovery channels. Had all the Free-To-Air satellite channels before we got with Sky so I know what is there for no cost, and believe you me, this time last year when DD was watching Tiny Pop and PopGirl she was more materialistic and acquisitive than now - due to their having ad breaks every 10 minutes chock-full of toy adverts, whereas Disney Channel doesn't have adverts on it which makes things a lot easier. - Bloody hell I got a bit defensive about Sky there. Anyways, aside from that luxury, there isn't any fat - tarriffs for all utility suppliers have been checked and rechecked, insurances got switched and all extraneous stuff got purged, the reason I flopped magnificently at the start of this month was due to my sheer bloody mindedness to not put ANYTHING on Credit Cards, using my Debit card for everything whereas I am not really in a position to do that straight off.
Wise words about starting the running again in the holiday time will be listened to, and as for the idea of Boxing - had it not been for a diagnosis of epilepsy when I was 16, well... who knows - I have the frame for a heavyweight and yet a surprising turn of speed - my dad was an enthusiastic sparrer and my great-uncle was into the Bare Knuckle fighting scene, and seeing as George Foreman was world champion at 45 - hmm, you never know.

MrsMoo2U

Sorry I am late to the platform on this one Mr B. Not much to add to all of the wonderful advice already given. I would second the drawing the money out for the week. I always did that and once I had the money I knew what I had and it made me think twice about that bottle of wine or the magazine. In fact what I used to do was put the money that I decided not to spend straight into a pig. Then I got into the awful habit of using my debit card when I moved to the country and there is no ATM for 10 miles. Got myself into a pickle one month by going overdrawn. I am lucky that I have an agreed overdraft but never use it (sorry if that offends anybody but I know that I am in a fortunate position and do appreciate that I am lucky) so it wasnt a catastrophe but I hate not being in control.

You say that your head is above water and that is great but I have seen people whose head is above and now and then the nose dips under and that is when the baddies (for that read banks, people in authority) rush in and stick the boot on the head by throwing charges etc at you. So Catslave is right, it is time to stop all other activity and work on taking control back before the baddies come in and take control of it all.

Still loving your humour but we are all here to help you through whether you entertain us everyday or not.

Karmacat

Lovely to see you posting, MrB, and I'm glad to hear there's no fat there (erm, in a way, anyway - nice to have fat, but not nice to spend uselessly). Fantastic to hear your totals have gone down!

There's an oops tho - when you say your totals have gone down cos MrsB is on the case (well done her!) do you mean that your cc totals have gone up? No, you've been determined not to put anything on the cards, you say ... can I ask why you're not in a position to put everything on debit cards? Maybe thats not because you're overspending, but because you've been using your credit cards as a way of helping out the cash flow - using them so that you're paying for this month's bills with next month's money, so to speak. Its a good tactic, but of course it only helps you once and then you're stuck with it - now you're pulling back, I guess you're finding this is a sort of "hidden debt", almost.

I do wonder if you could do more with your grocery budget? But you and MrsB are both time-poor, especially with really little children like yours, but there's got to be some quick, cheap recipes like flapjacks, or cheese straws or something - not even main meals, but the expensive snacky things could be replaced, and the actual cooking can be used to entertain the children (they can make their version!!)

Anyway ... I'm totally with MrsMoo - we're here for you whether you entertain us or not. Go for it, but don't forget to take care of yourself.

curlycat_2

Hi Mr B, been loving this thread and just watching from the sidelines.

An option, if you are out of contract with Sky, is to ring them stating you wish to leave. It's amazing how they put you through to this very nice Irish guy or a Scottish lady (yes I've done it twice) and offer you a remarkable cheaper contract containing just as much if not more than you have already for less money. Just a thought.

Keep up the good work. You are inspiring us all.

Butti

cats_slave wrote: »

You are NOT stupid. You are a fallible human being. Treat yourself with the repect that you deserve.

If you are calling yourself STUPID Mr B I am going to get very upset, and like Lou Ferignou, you don't want to see me upset!:mad:

No, you are intelligent, witty and highly capable, but fallible. Just the sort of man I go for actually (Sorry Mrs B, I'll go and stand in the corner for a mo!)

Even I'm not stupid, and I was told I was over and over for about 20 years, by a male role model who was nothing like as impressive as you.

GET A GRIP MAN.


B x

p.s. Agree with offering to leave, that always seems to work.

Shower-of-roses

You sound as if you're in a similar situation to me. Start off all guns blazing, think you're sorted and then something smacks you in the face.

I think you can do all the spinning and juggling and selling you like, but ultimately, you've got to stop spending. Not 'you' as such, a generic you....a me really!! A ha, I mean 'one'. Yup, one has to stop spending what one doesn't have in the kitty. Yesterday I bought a top of the range 'phone, a dress and a new coat....why????? Prob because I knocked the wine on the head a while back! And they were such bargains......

I don't do all the American huggle stuff. Suffice to say I know how you feel and huggles anyway..