Best ways to get rid of cold callers!!

DarnIt_3

Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I am getting sick of being called by people trying to sell me stuff, so I now make a joke out of it, find news ways to get rid of them!

I have a few! The first is, in plain English state....I am sorry I don't speak English, this confuses the hell out of them and every time they try and talk I repeat, I really don't understand you, I don't speak English!

Second one, When they ring before they get into the spiel I ask them if they would like my bank details and credit card number, then when they start stuttering I explain that I can assume they are going to steal money from my bank without permission and this could really save us both time as I have things to be doing.

Third one, before they even start, thank them for ringing, I tell them I have been desperate for someone to call them, then I go on to offer them double glazing, when they say no, I start listing other things they can buy like a loan, or new electricity suppliers, then when they get confused, say ITS NOT NICE BEING CALLED TO BY SOMETHING WHEN YOU DON'T WANT ANYTHING IS IT!

Or a new favourite, as long as the house is empty, when they call to ask for Mrs ***** say, hold on in a very polite voice, then scream in your loudest vile voice **** GET YOUR insert a few swear words DOWN THESE STAIRS NOW YOU insert more swear words DONT MAKE ME DRAG YOU DOWN THESE STAIRS and then go back to the phone and say hold on shes coming again in a polite voice and then go back to screaming.....it takes about two minutes before they hang up!

Tonight I am going to try the escaped convict one....where I pretend the police are banging the door down and I am holding a hostage! I get quite excited now when people call and am often disappointed when it's someone I know! Only problem is....people are calling less and less now!

DVardysShadow

DarnIt wrote: »

... Only problem is....people are calling less and less now!

Post your phone number, I have never before felt the urge to cold call and sell someone a contract for something.

Tink_04

I had someone going for ages once they had rang at the same time every day for a week offering conservitorys I had told them no so many times then one day I Sat listened fir ages discussed payment options and styles it was going to be really nice by the sound if it! I the. Said I hope the nighbours won't mind he was confused and I kindley explained I live on the third floor! They never did ring back lol

geoffky

There is a site on line to stop it all. someone posted it a while ago and i signed up and have not had any since then.

found it....
http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/tps/index.html

sevenpounds03

i did that before when someone was trying to sell me double glazing and i told him i had bars on my windows and an iron door. HE TOLD me his name was James so i said i was mrs james, asked him to marry me and that i lived in jail, on death row and could do with a penpal .

he eventually asked if my name was really MRS Pi ss take x

loracan1

geoffky wrote: »

There is a site on line to stop it all. someone posted it a while ago and i signed up and have not had any since then.

found it....
http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/tps/index.html

I'm registered with tps but I've been plagued with these calls for the past year or so. Have now taken the call-barring option with my phone line.
Problem with tps is that if you want to make a complaint the form requires you to give your full name and address which is then sent on to the company involved...now I don't know about anyone else but that has a slight logic error as far as I'm concerned...

swimsink

I know when i was younger, i would say i was going to get my mum or dad and then just leave the phone off the hook and see how long they would wait

toothfairybuttkicker

DarnIt wrote: »

Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I am getting sick of being called by people trying to sell me stuff, so I now make a joke out of it, find news ways to get rid of them!

I have a few! The first is, in plain English state....I am sorry I don't speak English, this confuses the hell out of them and every time they try and talk I repeat, I really don't understand you, I don't speak English!

Second one, When they ring before they get into the spiel I ask them if they would like my bank details and credit card number, then when they start stuttering I explain that I can assume they are going to steal money from my bank without permission and this could really save us both time as I have things to be doing.

Third one, before they even start, thank them for ringing, I tell them I have been desperate for someone to call them, then I go on to offer them double glazing, when they say no, I start listing other things they can buy like a loan, or new electricity suppliers, then when they get confused, say ITS NOT NICE BEING CALLED TO BY SOMETHING WHEN YOU DON'T WANT ANYTHING IS IT!

Or a new favourite, as long as the house is empty, when they call to ask for Mrs ***** say, hold on in a very polite voice, then scream in your loudest vile voice **** GET YOUR insert a few swear words DOWN THESE STAIRS NOW YOU insert more swear words DONT MAKE ME DRAG YOU DOWN THESE STAIRS and then go back to the phone and say hold on shes coming again in a polite voice and then go back to screaming.....it takes about two minutes before they hang up!

Tonight I am going to try the escaped convict one....where I pretend the police are banging the door down and I am holding a hostage! I get quite excited now when people call and am often disappointed when it's someone I know! Only problem is....people are calling less and less now!

Love this thread. OH got so fed up of cold calls he ripped the phone out of the wall. He works nights and can be a little grumpy if he doesnt get his sleep. i on the other hand was always on the receiving end of a cold call when the babies were in the bath or trying to settle in bed

OH had some stunners. He would pretend to be an indian call centre and repeat everything back to them and make out he'd call them.

OH would love asking for a number to ring back at a more suitable time and if succesful would spend his night shift leaving messages on their answer service along the lines of ' helllllllooo i'm returning your call at a suitable time for meeeee' he would follow it up with songs like 'there was an old man called Michael Finigan' bless him he has unlimited mins and sure liked to use them


As we have no phone in our land line we now get alot of people knocking on.

Sunday it was the RSPCA looking for sponsers opened the door and was asked if i had a few mins. My answer 'in the middle of a domestic any chance you could referree' Man made quick exit.

My absolute fav is to answer the door with my boob hanging out and feeding baby. I have absolutly no problem with it but its suprising how many people run. ( they cant look that bad surely)

Butti

Like it Toothfairybuttkicker.

I just say I've just been made redundant. Which is true, and seems to work, and they usually apologise for having bothered me!

B

poppasmurf_bewdley

My dear late Mum used to enjoy messing cold callers around.

She used to say something like this: "Oh, it is nice to talk to someone. You're the first person I've talked to in three weeks. I've been in hospital for an operation. Can I tell you about it? At first the couldn't find anything wrong but I kept telling them................."

She said they couldn't get off the phone quick enough!

kremmen

I had a very nice lady fron the Jehovah's the other day. Unfortunatly I was not quite ready and instead of saying I was an athiest ( Unbelieiver) or Jewish ( always seems to work for me) I said I was an agnostic ( not decided religiously).
Well the ladies face lit up as she saw a challenge in me. I quickly added with satanist "leanings".
I saw her face drop and heard a nervous laugh and a slightly strangled "I hope not" escaped just before I shut the door.

Paul
:A