Tales from a country cottage

ani*fan

Oh dear Igamogam I'm sorry to hear that. Bleh to the post op poorliness. Anything that can be done? Rest? Cups of tea being made for you? OH taking charge of everything til you're better? Hope you feel better soon.

I phoned accounts yesterday who should be paying my expenses and was told they hadn't receive the form. I asked our admin who helpfully pulled up the email which had been sent last week and resent it with a strongly worded note re. payment of this cash for me. I'm not sure if it will arrive now in time for the weekend but I can hope. And I felt all empowered following it up. Yey!

Thank goodness it' friday. My weekend plans will need to be altered a bit if this cash doesn't arrive but even so, I'm going to a gig on sunday night with a good pal and I'm all excited about it.

Here's to weekends. :T

Knitting_Nora

ani*fan wrote: »

Hiya :wave:

Yep I think you're right. It needs to all go to debt. But which debts is the question.

I know I should cut uup those cards but I can't. Sometimes I need them. For emergencies and stuff. I know this is complete nonsense but I can't seem to let them go! I can't spend on my abbey/santander one anyway cos i'm paying it off with a frozen interest rate. But the other three...guess I have not learned yet.

Hope your weekend is all good too.

Morning!

Couple of suggestions (in case you're still working on which debts to pay etc):

1. In your position, I'd pay as much as you can to the ex-MiL, and get that cleared asap. Tie up those ex-bloke-related loose ends and get rid of them!

So long as you're already paying the minimum on the other debts, then spreading your additional funds over various cards etc will make you feel lovely but won't do a huge amount for your overall picture. Best to concentrate on one debt at a time to really bash with extra funds.

By the way, I honestly don't know about such things, but won't your bonus be taxed? If so, it won't be quite as much as you're counting on - so best check. Oh, that's horrid isn't it? Now I feel like I've explained about the Easter Bunny!!

2. Not being able to destroy the cards is completely understandable - I was a terror for that. So I sent them off to stay with a friend for a while. Just so they weren't easily to hand for my retail therapy habit. Worked really well for me, and eventually gave me the emotional distance to cut all but one up...

3. Stop bashing yourself about the head for going shopping when you were blue. It happens, and it's not a problem. It's not even a problem that you're a bit more in debt than when you started. The point is that, unlike when you first started, you now know you can shift that debt. How cool is that?! :j:T

So really, given all the changes since you first started, why not give yourself a break and accept that some of that expenditure was beyond your immediate control (like double rents...). Why keep the original debt total? Stop for a moment, take a deep breath, accept that this is a new day and a new you, and you're solely responsible for your life and spends now - and start over.

One debt total - the current position; prioritised list of debts so you know what you're concentrating on clearing any time you have a little spare cash (snowball, by all means - but remember that sometimes it's more important emotionally, to clear 'cheaper' debts first); and a reminder to have a little fun along the way...especially if you've been part of a couple for a while.

Go forth, young Ani..... conquer the world...

Ooo, got a bit dramatic at the end there, didn't it? S'what happens when you talk with your hands waving....

Nora.x

NewLeaf_2

I totally concur with Nora. Break all ties with MIL first.

Igamogam

Wise words Nora and I totally agree about small debts first and some fun on the way philosophy

Ani - no OH b00gered off on a jolly ( long time planned not spur of the moment thing) same night I cam home form hospital. Dis think it would be OK but by second day home felt really rotten like I had been hit by a train and then thee was a chain of events that seemed to happen one after another...............some expensive:eek: Good friends though popping in with soup and shopping and DD2 is very self reliant - well mostly for a teenager whose brain is slowly becoming unwired after visit to doc yesterday now have a cocktail of drugs and lotions and potions to take and may just beginning to feel more human although when OH gets back today I will not be that better

ani*fan

Hello my lovelies

Thank you so much for your wise words. Igamogam...that bloke of yours needs to make up for lost time taking care of you. I totally sympathise, my anaesthetic was way worse than the tiny wee scar with 2 stitches i was recovering from. I do hope it gets better very quickly for you. And how great that your pals are coming round with soup to keep you going? They sound like a fab buunch.

Newleaf, yes, breaking all ties with MiL was my first thought too. Think I will go with that plan.

Nora, yes the cash will be taxed and it's ok, I already knew the taxman existed! We are also getting a backdated pay rise that should cancel out the tax, but we'll see. Work keep giving us presents to make us stay yet people are still leaving. Clearly the presents aren't big enough. Little do they know I would stay for a tenner. And thanks for reminding me to go gently on myself. I do forget sometimes.

As for the credit cards...I just can't do it yet but I may try to get rid of one. (The one I can't buy with anyway. But that wouldn't really count would it?)

Nora, I loved the permission to go forth and conquer the world in my singlehood. I love a bit of drama! Newleaf, you asked too about my new life. It's very odd to be living alone. I'm ok, my family are close by, my pals have been wonderful and I have a social life again, and work is keeping me plenty busy. It's when I'm on my own at home with nothing much happening and I have time to think that I get so tearful. I still couldn't really say what went wrong, but something did and we ended up like this. My plan is simply to keep moving forward until I start to feel better. And hoping it will happen soon.

So, how's everyone getting on with their Christmas shopping???????????????????????????????
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

:xmastree:

It's closer than you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
x

Igamogam

I had that sinking feeling about Christmas too...............thats its closer than we think. Term finishes 21st Dec which is why I think its waaaaaaaaaaaaaay in the future. We dont have a huge Christmas but I like it relaxed and organised:)

NewLeaf_2

64 days and I am going to enjoy sleeping and reading

turfy6

Hi ani, I too like to be organised for christmas. I have bought some sweets and biscuits up to now, so will try and get a few more bits. I wrote the majority of the cards yesterday!!! well I have so many to post that I hate writing them its the worst job so the sooner Ive done that I begin to feel better. So sorry you feel teary sometimes, were all here for you, and Im sure things will get better, take good care of number one for a little while.;)

ani*fan

Hi everyone

How you all doing? All good I hope.

Thanks for the kind words turfy...truly appreciated. I've been feeling a bit better ths last week or two so I'm hoping that continues. I bought some christmas cards with my shopping this week so I'm right on your heels with the card writing.

Newleaf...I love the idea of sleeping and reading all through the hols. I'm really hoping I get a few days doing that too.

Igamogam...christmas is really not that far away!

Well my bonus arrived and was £800 as expected. My overtime did not get put through in time...grr...but I can look forward to it next month. I'm ashamed to say I have not even checked my finances this month yet but have been spending as though it was all mine. Hairdryer packed in, there goes a tenner. New ironing board cover as the old one was covered in holes, another fiver. Mirror for bedroom, twenty quid, flights to go away with my pal at christmas to her parents house, £85...see where this is headed? And I still need to buy a new mobile cos my old one is now completely non-functional.

I'm making a solemn promise now to stop the spending and get a grip. Before this bonus slips through my fingers with nothing paid to the debt.

Hopefully I'll have more time to catch up later in the week but in the meantime, stay happy lovely people!

Igamogam

Long time no see Ani