I cannot be serious!

Loughton_Monkey

Things are a bit quiet on this forum just now. Thought I'd just ask a few questions that Bendix and others might be able to help me with. Here goes:

I have several small pension pots that I want to combine together and then cash in or sell. They are all losing money and I want to know whether it's a good idea to employ an IFA to do this on my behalf. How much will it cost? I'm completely brainless when it comes to pensions lol and want to use the money to buy a property and rent it out. Is this a good idea?

If this is not possible, I want to transfer the pension abroad and borrow money to buy a property to rent out or would it be better to put it into a SIPP? Should I use trackers, and if I keep the pension how much should I put in? But I'm totally confused as a friend has told me that I would be far better putting my money into a cash ISA because pensions are a rip off.;)

McKneff

OOOH LM, you are a one....................

I'll pm you with my bank details, I'll invest it for you:D

I'd have to go to a lot of foreign countries (on expenses) of course, to do some research for you. Preferably warm ones, with beaches:cool:

thenudeone

You are in luck.

I just need a very small amount of your money from your pension to help me with something.

With warm heart I offer my friendship, and greetings, and I hope this message meets you in good time.However strange or surprising this contact might seem to you as we have not met personally or had any dealings in the past,I got your contact I humbly ask that you take due consideration of its importance and the immense benefit it will be to you.

After careful consideration with myself, I resolved to contact you for your most needed assistance in this manner. I duly apologize for infringing on your privacy, if this contact is not acceptable to you, as I make this proposal to you as a person of integrity. Being the only Daughter of my father, late Dr. Douglas Conell First and foremost I wish to introduce myself properly to you. My name is Miss Monica Conell from ivory coast(WA) I am 21 years of age.

My father was limited liability Diamond and Gold merchant in ivory coast a very successful businessman and proficient politician in ivory coast before his untimely death. After his business trip to SOUTH AFRICA to nagociate on a good investment business he wanted to invest in SOUTH AFRICA.

A week after he came back from SOUTH AFRICA ,he got an accident with my mother of which my mother died instantly my father died after some days in a private hospital on that faithful afternoon, I didnt know that my father was going to leave me after I had lost my mother, but before he gave up the ghost, it was as if he knew he was going to die. (OH MY GOOD FATHER, MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE AMEN) before his death he disclosed to me that he deposited sum of $16.5000,000.00 Dollars, (Sixteen Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollar in Fixed Coded Suspense Account in Bicici Bank Ci.

which was generated from cash payments from his business associates.He also told me that the money was meant for his Investment, which he wanted to establish in SOUTH AFRICA. He directed me to his lawyer where he filed it and seek gaudiance on how I could do with the deposit certificate with the agreement bound with the Bicici Bank and instructed me to seek for a reliable,experince and trust worthy business partner who can help me receive this money into his/her bank account for my life time investment abroad.

Now I have all the documents and the agreement bound Bicici Bank issued to my late father i also confirmed that the money was there with most honest and confidentiality. Now I am soliciting for your assistance to help me claim this money out from Bicici Bank and transfer it into to your safe account abroad so that we should invest this money in any meaningful lucrative business in your country because this is my only hope in life.

Though I believe this your assistace should be based on mutuality,I am willing to offering you 20% 0f the funds and another 5% for any miscallenous expenses that may comes up if only you can help me out on my present predicament.
Awaiting anxiously to hear from you so that we can discuss the modalities of this transaction and give you the contact of the Bicici bank and the documents related to it. I await your immediate response for more details.
May Almighty God bless you as you do care for me Amen.

Loughton_Monkey

Thanks, Nudeone for the opportunity. If you give me Miss Conell's e-mail address I'll contact her straight away. $4 million would be a good boost to my pension fund. I'll give her the details of my account with £85K in it, since it is paying the highest interest. Being very intelligent and sensible, I'll move it straight away since $16 million is above the FSCS limits. My only concern is that McKneff may have got there first.

Annisele

You want to be careful LM; your $4mil will put you above the lifetime allowance

kidmugsy

Nah, bung it all into silver. Can't go wrong.

Ark_Welder

LM

You may be interested in a new charting algorithm that I have developed just this-afternoon. It can be applied for any asset type and will produce a chart that will prove a set of pre-determined results. Merely feed in your answers and watch the backward application reveal the appropriate originating data set.

I call it the dlog-scale.


[edit]
P.S. I was tempted to describe its application as 'backwardisation'...

thenudeone

Loughton_Monkey wrote: »

Thanks, Nudeone for the opportunity. If you give me Miss Conell's e-mail address I'll contact her straight away

Certainly its: screwthegullible@suckers.com

jamesd

Loughton_Monkey wrote: »

I have several small pension pots that I want to combine together and then cash in or sell. They are all losing money and I want to know whether it's a good idea to employ an IFA to do this on my behalf. How much will it cost? I'm completely brainless when it comes to pensions lol and want to use the money to buy a property and rent it out. Is this a good idea?

Are you sure that buying a property is a good idea? Shouldn't you go to your local high street bank and pay them 5% initial commission plus 1.75% ongoing annual commission to use their range of bank funds? What could be better than your local high street bank for prudent financial management, good investment decisions and low costs?

Loughton_Monkey wrote: »

If this is not possible, I want to transfer the pension abroad and borrow money to buy a property to rent out or would it be better to put it into a SIPP? Should I use trackers, and if I keep the pension how much should I put in? But I'm totally confused as a friend has told me that I would be far better putting my money into a cash ISA because pensions are a rip off.;)

Foreign property held in a Spanish QROPS looks like an interesting idea, particularly if you concentrate on beachfront properties that don't yet have planning permission! Imagine the increase in value when the inevitable increase in demand causes the Spanish government to grant permission for your properties. Instead of cheap and pending demolition for being illegal they will suddenly become highly desirable beachfront palaces.

Pensions are clearly better than ISAs. The government protects you by restricting how much you can take out to less than your investments can make when you retire at 55, so your pension pot value will keep on growing as you get older. Yes, it's a shame that you won't be able to take more income until the state pensions start, when before then is when you need it most, but look at the long term benefit of dying rich! If you don't want to die rich, just buy an annuity. Easy. Now your income will be linked forever, until you die, to the government bond interest rates, currently at their lowest for more than a hundred years, so you can be assured that you won't die rich.

le_loup

Gosh! I'm learning so much from this thread. Who would have thought that the path to untold riches would be so easy. I shall follow all the advice given here and that from a lady who just phoned me about an unlisted share opportunity. I was a bit sceptical to begin with but when she told me that the firms FSA licence was in the post, I was reassured. Anyway, she sounded so sexy that I knew it would be alright.
Any one know anything about something called "land-banking"? Sound very promising.

Former_MSE_Andrea

Hi everyone

Please remember there's no such thing as a stupid question on this site and that we're a friendly forum. This is a forum to help people save money and ask questions they don't know the answers to.

You guys may be extremely knowledgeable in particular subject areas but others aren't. I'm sure there are areas of the site you look at because you need help? Or even areas you don't look at because you don't understand how it works?

I speak several languages but I wouldn't dream of taking the mickey out of people because they don't know how to say "where's the station?" in Spanish, Italian and Japanese!

Please be nice.

Thanks!