Hello and is there help out there?!

Silly_mare

Hello everyone. I hope you can help me see a light at the end of the tunnel!
I have got myself in a bit of a pickle over the last 10 years. Not looking for sympathy as it is entirely my own fault!

I am not in the situation where I am managing just about to pay the min payments on 2 cc and a personal loan plus all my bills but it literally leaves me with nothing. As I am not actually defaulting I am beginning to think I have no options and am feeling very stressed.

I am married and we split all household stuff but have our own accounts for our own debts and bills. My husband is doing ok but also has debts. He earns alot less than me and his debs are less. He is currently picking up the bill for all food and household stuff as I am literally skint the day I get paid. He knows I am in debt but I have been vague about how much. I know I need to tell him.

Lasly I have just found out I am pregnant with our first child and although I am happy am panicing about having to take time off work and not being able to manage. I feel I am going to ruin this for my husband who is extatic about the pregnancy when he finds out how bad things are.

DizzyDizzy

Congratulations on the pregnancy! Don't panic about maternity leave just yet, if you get things sorted now you will be able to manage.

Best thing to do if you want help is to write down all your debts, and income and expenditure. This will look scary but you need to know what you are looking at in order to move forward. There is a template on this forum to write it all. Then come back on and post it all up and you will get plenty of suggestions from everyone about what you can do!

You can indeed have a baby and bring it up on a buget. I am, and so are loads of other people. Don't get caught in the trap on thinking you must have everything new etc etc. There are always loads of really good second hand stuff available (car boot sales are excellant!)

All the best, come back with your statement of affairs and we'll have a look x

jellybean39

Congratulations on the baby!!!!
Hey dont go worrying this is a special time, for both of you. You really need to sit down with hubby and explain. you never know he might be feeling the same and will be relieved as you to get it all out in the open. You may be better if you could put it all down together and have separate accounts just for your own spending. Dont forget as your married if one defaulted it will affect both yout credit ratings. Dont forget to do your soa and put both your income and debts on there as you are bothin there together. And i managed as a single parent on one income you will be ok its just a shock to the system when your income drops so dont panic we all been there good luck x

Aesop

silly mare - congratulations on the pregnancy!

First of all, get yourself signed upto Freecycle, google for your local group, google for your local NCT group and sign upto netmums.com

Believe me, you do not need everything brand new for your baby. There are important things like nappies, and bedding and mattresses that need to be brand new but not everything needs to be.

In the first year, your baby will grow so much, and so quickly out of their new clothes!

You can get baby clothes for free on Freecycle, check out the free/wanted/for sale on netmums for your local area. There maybe mums/parents giving away things their children have grown out of.

NCT have nearly new sales where you can buy toys, etc at a fraction of the cost brand new and in most cases look new!

Have a look here, http://www.moneyformums.co.uk/. Find out if you are entitled to the Sure Start Maternity Grant that will help.

Sign upto every baby club going, they send money off vouchers, free gifts, etc. My DS had the free cows, polar bears, etc.

Ask family and friends to give you vouchers or cash for the baby, you can use this to buy nappies, clothes etc.

Stockpile nappies in various sizes if you can, throughout your pregnancy, whenever you see them on offer.

Have a look here

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/463604

join every baby club going, Tesco, Asda, Morrison, Sainsbury, Boots. All the vouchers and money off coupons will come in very handy!

have a good read of the vouchers and coupon thread here! This will be useful too in helping save money on food, etc.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3405925

good luck hun. we are here supporting you.

Silly_mare

Thanks everyon. I am going to put together my SOA now. I am sure my OH knows things arent great, I just havent told him exactly how much I owe. I feel awful because I know he has worked so hard to get his borrowing down over the last few years.
I have been guilty of upping my personal loan periodically and paying of CC but not getting rid so they have crept back up.

Things havecome to a bit of a head as I have been paying everything (min payments only but never missed a payment ever) and living on the money we get from our loger each week for petrol/food and other bills (vet bills/car ect)
Then our loger went on holiday for two weeks at short notice (he is Mon-Fri only so only pays when he is here) and that coincided with car failing MOT and my horse getting ill so another load of expenses I just cant pay.

I will put together a SOA so you can see where I am at

Thanks

Silly_mare

ok here I go....

I have done alot over the last 6 months to reduce our outgoings; have shopped around for the best deals on utilities and insurance and managed to get my phone bill down to 30 quid. We prob spend silly amounts on shopping as we are both so busy we dont do a regular shop and tend to buy bits every few days between us (although OH has done most )of this lately

Please dont anyone suggest getting rid of my horse. I have had him years and it is like someone asking you to give up a child. I keep him as cheaply as I can, he doesnt require much feed and I do all the work myself. Just unlucky that he has been very sick which has just about tipped me over the edge finacially (also rendering him lame and not worth a penny so I am stuck with him really!)

I drive 18 miles to work and back, OH drives company van.

Will be doing a proper brake down of whats what with OH when he comes home from work today so some of his figures are estimates


OUTGOINGS (we each pay £730 into separate account for this)
Mortgage......................... £928.58(£141,000.00)
Gas&Elec............ ............£142.00 Should reduce soon; we underestimated our bills for a while
Council Tax ......................£120.00
Sky& Broadband...............£75.00
Home insurance...............£21.85
TV licence.......................£12.37
Life Insurance...................£20.16
Water..............................£37.01
Phone.............................£14.15
Washing machine rental...£21.31
Account fee.....................£15.00
Car Insurance..................£28.10
Dog Insurance..................£21.17
My loan (sainsburys).........£403.37(£17,000.00....20.9% APR) months
Phone..............................£30.00
Garage Rental..................£37.32 Full of old logers stuff, he pays £40 a month
Uni (Masters Degree)........£450.00 Year 1 of 5
Barclaycard (min approx)..£160.00 balance £7,293.9929.90% (limit £7400) will go over when they add Interest and over limit fee
MBNA (min approx)..........£150.00 Balance £3840 (limit £4000) APR 2.5292%Horse..............................£250.00 Average over year including vets bills/food/livery/farrier etc. Currently awiating vet bill and owe farrier £35
Overdraft (Barclays) £1,300.00TBCCar
Car £470.00To get through MOT that I havent paid (still needs service and brake pads!)
Husbands Loan.................£263.63 £13,500 APR16.40%
Credit card(min, but he pays more)...£20.00 Balance £881 APR22.90%
Mobile..............................£60.00

OUTGOINGS Other/Variable
Food.......................£250 Prob could reduce considerably (not even sure how much we spend)
Dogs/Cats Food..........£40 2 cats 1 do
Dogs/Cats other...........£20 Wormer/flea treatments/treats
Going out......................£0 We dont!
Clothing.........................£0 Cant remember the last time
Car Tax.........................20 240
Petrol.........................156 150m/week @ .0.24ppm
OH Golf .....................120 Bit of a guess

Total outgoings £3,284.32
Income
My Salary..................£2,100
Husbands salary.........£1,400
Lodger Pays...............£320
Total Income £3,820.00

Looking at that I must be missing something somewhere? as we definitly dont have 500 odd quid left!?

getmore4less

Sky& Broadband...............£75.00

Plenty of free TV, should be able to get that down to under £30 probably <£20 since the phone rental is not included here.

Washing machine rental...£21.31

That buys a new machine every year

Mobiles are still too high there are deals out there for <£10pm with decent mins/text etc. (there used to be free deals but these are very rare now).






Whats the mortgage deal and LTV

Mikeone

Hi

Just wanted to drop a quick note of reassurance about having your baby. You'll see from my signature that I had my LBM in late 2009, well our first baby came along in February this year, right in the middle of my DFW journey!

Not only have things proven to be fine while we were sorting out our finances, but I actually think that my DFW experience is making me a better dad. I've learnt so much about taking responsibility, living within our means and planning for the future that I feel more confident about raising our daughter.

I've still got a way to go before I'm debt free, but I'm already feeling the benefit of the mindset I now have.

Just wanted to share that, and assure you that you are doing the right thing.


Best wishes, and congratulations!

Silly_mare

getmore4less wrote: »

Sky& Broadband...............£75.00

Plenty of free TV, should be able to get that down to under £30 probably <£20 since the phone rental is not included here.

I thought someone may point this out to me! I am selfishly trying to hang on to my sky plus; I dont watch much TV due to full time shiftwork and 15 hrs study a week but what I do watch I watch religiously and have to sky plus it! (bradband/computer too slow to watch online) I also feel bad for OH having to loose sports channels becasue of me..... I guess we will discuss that one tonight

getmore4less wrote: »

Whats the mortgage deal and LTV

I have a very good mortgage adviser that we have used for years.I worry that we wont even be able to shop around for mortgages in the future. We have only just renewed it 2 yr fixed with Natwest (will have to look up the rate) but it is the highest LTV we could get (75%)

Aesop

have a look on freecycle for washing machines. People upgrade and give away perfectly good ones.

There is also a comet clearance site, where you bid on washing machines. you could get a good deal and manage to buy one cheaply. That would save in the long term on washing machine rental.

http://www.clearance-comet.co.uk/

with your mobiles, when are you due to renew your contracts and who are you with?

you could possibly tell them you could get a better deal elsewhere and are going to leave. Did it with DH, and he now pays £11 a month for his phone with a very good deal, 300 minutes, 500 texts, unlimited internet. He hardly calls or texts anyone, but uses the internet.

with sky - could you call them and negotiate a cheaper package? I see they are doing price fixing until 2012.

with the home insurance, are you getting the best deal? another mser called Swintons and from a £350 quote with her original company, Swintons quoted £196 a year.

use this thread to help reduce the cost of your shopping

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/46241207#Comment_46241207

boultdj

If you look on the Old Style board you'll find the monthly grocery challange, and the first page has lot's of recipe's, link's to other recipe site's[including Weasle's] , I see Aesop has given you the link to the coupon thread:D , I love using coupon's



And congratulation's on the baby.