Debt help. Left in mess by ex?

MrsTinks

But did she send the letter to the bank and did you recieved confirmation that you HAD been removed? If the account was in the OD at the time more than likely they would be unlikely to remove you from it until it had been cleared...

bluepeter14_2

Dont ever remember receiving any confirmation of this but I believe the account was in the black when we separated.

I'm looking at ways that I don't have to pay anything towards this overdraft as she's shafted me financially for the past number of years so any suggestions are welcome??

poppasmurf_bewdley

Welcome to the world of the 'ex'.

I had virtually the same experience, only mine got the house and the kids, then the kids came back to live with me, and she and her new other half got the house repossessed. I had a good credit rating when I met her, and within three months was lending her money to pay rent and phone bills. I should have seen the writing on the wall as well!!

My breakup came to a head between christmas and new year when she asked for more cash for the festive season and I gave her £100, only to find she'd then used our joint account to fund the purchases. That was the last straw.

That was all eleven years ago, and the only way to get through it is by determination and perseverence. You need support from your friends and family. Someone to talk to is VERY important. I got comfort from finding out how many people have gone through it themselves.

In the end I got it all sorted out, and I'm even on good terms with the ex nowadays - we have lunch once or twice a month. But she still doesn't like my story about the marriage being ok at first - right up to when they started to take the photographs. It was only after that that it went downhill.

Tixy

bluepeter14 wrote: »

She works full-time and her income is more than mine so how could they chase me for the amounts she ran up ?????

How much she earns is irrelevant, legally its a joint debt and you are both liable for the whole amount.

bluepeter14 wrote: »

As far as I'm concerned I signed the documents to remove my name from that account.. Job done.. Nothing more to do with me.

Not legally the case unfortunately.

bluepeter14 wrote: »

Dont ever remember receiving any confirmation of this but I believe the account was in the black when we separated.

I'm looking at ways that I don't have to pay anything towards this overdraft as she's shafted me financially for the past number of years so any suggestions are welcome??

Its not the date that you seperated that is relevant to the bank. If she handed the forms in then it is that date that is relevant. And if it was in an overdraft at that point they are legally entitled not to agree to the request and keep your name on the account. And now that she has defaulted on the account the debt collector are legally entitled to chase you for the whole debt as well as her.

Plus whilst ever this account is not settled then you cannot file a notice of disassociation on your credit file.

Its a pants situation to be in and I know you don't want to use some of the equity to pay off this debt, but when you became an account holder on her account you became liable for her overdraft. Lots of other people in similar situations to you, and worse. Money and partners so often don't mix well, money and ex's almost never. But the law still means that its your debt as well as hers.

jonjamie1970

I am beginning to think your ex is my ex lol, I was just recalling days of things that happened and I still convinced myself she was OK, my mum gave me £20k once, early inheritence, I remember being short in the account and when I asked the bank for a copy cheque for something that was paid it wasnt my proper signature, she forged it and cleared a small debt £300 ish. But I still convinced myself it was OK and dont rock the boat. What a mug.

Thegirl

The only advice I can offer is to take whatever debts exist out of the equity and split the rest. That includes her overdraft. The reason for me advising that is that it sounds like it is in joint names still otherwise your details would not have been passed to the debt collectors. I mean do all you can to verify this (I would suggest checking your credit file as being the easiest way, failing that if you have anything with the account number still on it check directly with the bank). But from the sounds of things they never actioned removing your name. Unjust or not, it's going to cost you an additional £750 from your share to release the equity from the sale of the property, clear the outstanding debts in your name plus get a debt collector off of your back who is chasing the ex's debts.
I give this advice as someone who took on all of the debt at the end of her marriage to get a divorce. It hurt like hell and seemed so unfair at the time, but you know what, it was worth every penny.

dancingfairy

To be honest you have to deal with the debts - whether you want to or not is kind of irrelevant because they aren't going to go away and frankly you're going to be the one to suffer. She doesn't appear to know or care. Unless you want to spend the next 4 years hiding from the debt collectors and bailiffs it is your responsibility
Not sure what to say about the ex though refusing to accept that the joint debts should be paid first
df