Depression

feelinggood_2

learning_to_drive wrote:

Hi, I love this thread, full of like minded people who suffer, I think that I go through stages but can beat this depression, just when I have bad moods / bad days / wake up feeling low, I panic because I associate that with feeling low as how I did before when I was very bad.

I hope I can better, I know I can, one day at a time, one step at a time.

The swings are hard to deal with, I'm feeling good at the moment, hoping it lasts. I do have a bit of fear that I'm just going to go back down, but maybe this time will be different.
ODAAT, thats how we should do everything.
How is your sleep?

Tomkatt

Well I know that this has been mentioned several times already but I just felt I had to reply. Unfortunately, by the time I actually managed to get logged on here the thread had closed!!

I have had what has vaguely been termed depression for about 10 or 12 years on and off, it began with bouts of self harm that started at round about 15, mainly I just felt numb and removed from every day life. It gradually seems to have deterioated to the point where I am under the "care" of a psychiatrist but even he has given up on me stating that I have now three more sessions in which to show I wish to change otherwise he cannot help me. Which is great but its not going to make it go away. He has me all confused however as he won't attach a "label" to me and therefore would not describe me as "overtly" depressed. It probably does not help that I keep things from him but I cannot help it as it has been an automatic response for many years now (keeping people at a distance). I know I need help but I don't seem to know how to ask and when it is offered I shove it away because I don't think I need it.

What makes it even more confusing is that I can go days and feel absolutely fine, I get loads done and I even manage to keep the house clean. Other times I don't really see a point in anything and don't want to get up, this is made worse by the fact that I am not sleeping properly at all. Again the shrink says this is down to poor management but even when I do go to bed early (10pm) I still wake up at three and find myself unable to go back to sleep. I know by the end of these three sessions I won't have managed to prove anything, and the shrink and I will "part company" without actually having achieved anything and if past history is anything to go by its all downhill from here.

kronas

feelinggood wrote:

The swings are hard to deal with, I'm feeling good at the moment, hoping it lasts. I do have a bit of fear that I'm just going to go back down, but maybe this time will be different.
ODAAT, thats how we should do everything.
How is your sleep?

its the same with me, it never lasts long, its just certain periods are better than others, i just make the most of the 'mania' while i can, but when it all dies down thats when i hate things, depression will always be there, you just have to accept it and control it, things WILL get better, but you have to be prepared to 'lose it' during diffarent periods and go off kilter.

feelinggood_2

kronas wrote:

its the same with me, it never lasts long, its just certain periods are better than others, i just make the most of the 'mania' while i can, but when it all dies down thats when i hate things, depression will always be there, you just have to accept it and control it, things WILL get better, but you have to be prepared to 'lose it' during diffarent periods and go off kilter.

This time, I'm going to make sure I continue to go to the doctors, let him see what I'm like when i'm like this Although, that said, I was supposed to go to the doctor about a week ago, and I'm putting it off for another 10 days or so.

How are you tonight?

learning_to_drive

The swings are hard to deal with, I'm feeling good at the moment, hoping it lasts. I do have a bit of fear that I'm just going to go back down, but maybe this time will be different.
ODAAT, thats how we should do everything.
How is your sleep?

The swings are extremely hard to deal with, ODAAT as you say, its important to remember that, it can be beaten. I think of the swing low (sweet chariot?) as a bad mood / low point that all people depressed or otherwise have.

We cant let it beat us

My sleep is pretty good at the minute, fooked up after Xmas naturally, but on the whole its a lot better recently,

feelinggood_2

learning_to_drive wrote:

The swings are extremely hard to deal with, ODAAT as you say, its important to remember that, it can be beaten. I think of the swing low (sweet chariot?) as a bad mood / low point that all people depressed or otherwise have.

We cant let it beat us

My sleep is pretty good at the minute, fooked up after Xmas naturally, but on the whole its a lot better recently,

I'm being really strict and getting in bed at midnight and up at 8am.
Really don't want to go to bed tonight though!
I do so very much like how you post

learning_to_drive

I'm being really strict and getting in bed at midnight and up at 8am.
Really don't want to go to bed tonight though!
I do so very much like how you post

How do you like how I post? In what way?

Thanks I think!!

feelinggood_2

learning_to_drive wrote:

How do you like how I post? In what way?

Thanks I think!!

Just the things you say - like the "swing low (sweet chariot?)" and things

It was a compliment

learning_to_drive

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh lovely, well i do try, its my personality coming through, I felt today that after all my problems and really being "myself" after speaking with people and being the life and soul of our induction group that I can really go somewhere, but I have to keep positive.

If any fellow sufferers wish to speak via MSN / PM about things, it would be nice, to keep each other going through difficult times and speak on a personal level about our days.

The offer is there, please contact me via PM for MSN / chat, I'm happy to speak with others as well as on here!

feelinggood_2

I have sent you a message
I talk about my personal day on the thread too usually, bet these guys want rid of me!