Politeness online

mussgo

hello folk

If I am posting on the wrong board please forgive me, this will be my last post.

I have come to the conclusion that people are either too lazy to be polite or are just rude because they can be online. I have frequented may forums but this by far the most. Perhaps its also the busiest.

My sister and I discussed this weeks ago as we were shocked at some of the postings. I know that you do ask for politeness towards other posters and I have seen posts removed when they have crossed the line.

You would not treat people INL (in real life) like this so why is considered acceptable on line?

Cheerio
M

vanoonoo

mussgo wrote:

hello folk

If I am posting on the wrong board please forgive me, this will be my last post.

I have come to the conclusion that people are either too lazy to be polite or are just rude because they can be online. I have frequented may forums but this by far the most. Perhaps its also the busiest.

My sister and I discussed this weeks ago as we were shocked at some of the postings. I know that you do ask for politeness towards other posters and I have seen posts removed when they have crossed the line.

You would not treat people INL (in real life) like this so why is considered acceptable on line?

Cheerio
M

hiya mussgo - netiquette is an interesting minefield for which there is only an outline code of conduct inherited from the dungeons and dragons gamers where chat rooms were first developed. the internet allows forums and chat rooms to develop which are, in effect a cross between real life and the written world. I notice you start and finish your post in a similar format to a letter, which is very different to how someone would hold a real life conversation (we dont say hello each time we begin to speak nor do we say goodbye each time we stop speaking for example), however its also not right to allow abject rudeness or insults to remain in a public arena.

If there is perhaps something in particular that you are concerned about, its worth using the reporting mechanism which is available on every post you view (bar your own) its the exclamation mark in a triangle towards the bottom left corner of each post. unfortunately not every moderator or board guide can read each and every post so sometimes (although not often) things do get overlooked. I sincerely hope that you can help us all work to make this a site that you and your sister and friends would want to continue to visit and contribute to.

I'll report your post so that the abuse team can be alerted to your concerns.

Sorry you feel you want this to be your last post. I hope you change your mind at some point

best wishes

vanoonoo noodle doodle

Former_MSE_Controller2

Hi there,

Due to the size of the forum, although we moderate posts if we see them, the abuse team rely on people to report innapropriate posts to us and we deal with them.

It is always difficult to find the balance of keeping the forums friendly and ensuring that people are entitled to voice their opinions but I would like to think we do a good job of this given our time constraints.

If you have a specific problem, please email abuse@moneysavingexpert.com and I will gladly discuss it with you and hopefully we can sort it out.

Thanks

Marigold123

I'm not attacking your post, but to a certain extent I think that by saying you will not post here again, you are doing the same thing as the other posters you are objecting to.

While I understand you may feel upset at some of the posts you have seen, the majority of posters here are extremely polite to each other, and very careful not to criticise or be confrontational. And our mods, who work very hard, do their best to keep things pleasant for everybody.

When you consider the huge traffic this site gets, it's inevitable that there will be some people who post aggressively or inconsiderately. I've been on a number of forums with much worse behaviour, including smaller sites with full time moderators.

The problem is that because chat forums are a written media, it's sometimes very hard, even using emoticons, to post without appearing confrontational, particularly if you are angry or upset about something. We all do it from time to time, especially when we haven't been on chat forums for a while and are out of practice with the 'netiquette'.

It's also difficult not to take exception to what you read sometimes, when some stranger's words appear on YOUR computer screen in YOUR house. It can make a casual comment seem very personal.

Overall we're not a bad bunch, so please don't judge us too harshly. Take it from me that if you stick around you'll get used to people's funny little ways, and what they say doesn't seem so bad. (My second ever post on this board was to respond sarcastically to someone whom I thought had been condescending about what I had to say. With hindsight, I realise I shouldn't have got my knickers in a twist, but it's so easy to do. )

And of course, as others have said here, if you read something that upsets you, DO report the post. It's important to do this as it helps keep things comfortable for everyone. (It also makes you feel you've done something about it without having to respond to the poster directly.)

queensway_boy

i have never known a more friendly site

elona

Well said queensway boy - I agree with you. :):)

rushnowt

Hi mussgo,

I tend to agree with everyone here to a point, firstly i think this is one of the nicest sites ive ever been on with some of the nicest, politest and friendliest people, this was one of the main reasons I offered to be a board guide.

I'd say that 99% of the people who come here are completely considerate and will always apologise if they feel that something they've said may be taken out of context.

The moderators etc will do their utmost to ensure the site remains this way and are always available if you have any concerns, but again like the board guides they arn't available 24 hours a day due to their work and other commitments, however they will deal with any issues you may have as soon as reasonably possible, I appreciate that this can be frustrating when you want something to be dealt with straight away, so if you contact the relevant BG they may be able to offer you some help or advice.

As with anything in life we are always going to come up against a minority who's only interest is to upset the apple cart and to make other members unhappy and miserable, we all feel the same way as you at some point, however why allow these small minded people to stop you from doing something that the majority of the time gives you so much pleasure. Just ignore them and report where necessary, the more you allow these people to get under your skin the more they will do it. They will get bored before anyone else if we all just ignore their pathetic antics.

I hope you will read our comments and reconsider your decision to leave.

All the best & take care

Rush xxx

aliasojo

mussgo, I know exactly what you mean. There are some people who seem hellbent on stating their piece no matter how unpleasantly their post reads.

Thankfully these people are for the main part, few and far between. There is a large member base on this site and the majority are sensible, well adjusted people who are able to give their opinion without being rude or unpleasant.

Those who don't bother to stop and think about how their words actually sound, just don't seem to realise that their posts speak volumes about them, as a person.

People like this can be found on every chat forum going unfortunately. Maybe one day chat forums will evolve to include a 'confrontational sensor' which makes a person's post visually explode into a red blob if they write anything nasty. Now there's a good idea!

nice1_2

mussgo, i respect your annoyance about the few people you came in contact with who obviously showed no respect to you or others but as many have said before, this is definitely without a doubt in my mind, one of the most friendly websites that im proud to be a part of. To generalise and say u wont ever post a message here again for so and so reason defines that you are being mostly immature by categorising that anyone associated with this site has to be nasty.This is not the case and i defend the hundreds of people associated with this site who are helpfull and very decent to chat with online. Please make no mistake, i'm not out to get you in any way - just your way of looking at things which are an unneccesary minority.

Marigold123

nice1 wrote:

To generalise and say u wont ever post a message here again for so and so reason defines that you are being mostly immature by categorising that anyone associated with this site has to be nasty...

...Please make no mistake, i'm not out to get you in any way - just your way of looking at things which are an unneccesary minority.

Um, actually that's probably a bit confrontational itself, considering we are trying to convince someone this is a good place to be, rather than hitting back in the same vein.

I don't think mussgo was saying everyone here was nasty, I think she (he?) was just upset.

Shows how difficult it is to get the balance right, doesn't it? LOL

(I don't know whether you want to edit your post a bit, but it might be nice.)

gatita

I am very puzzled indeed with Mussgo's remarks, Of course there are a few people who seem to get some kind of perverse enjoyment being confrontational, but these people are so easily ignored aren't they?
I have to say I think the vast majority of members are a delightful bunch......and only too ready to offer help and advice. I think the only person to lose out will be you Mussgo, take a few moments to think things over perhaps?