Real Life MMD: Should my husband move away for a better job?

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Money Moral Dilemma: Should my husband move away for a better job?
We have approx £14,500 debt we're struggling to pay off and I'm expecting a second baby in September. We'll be okay until my maternity pay runs out in June 2012, but want to return to Ireland as I've been homesick since our son was born 15 months ago. My husband's in a good job but isn't well paid. He's been offered contract work in Germany for €60 an hour, which would help us pay off our debt quickly and allow me to move home to Ireland and live with my parents for a while, but we'd only see him at weekends. So we could stay here with his safe job but struggle for the next five years in a place I don't want to be, or move and have money but break the family apart.
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As a family, you need to decide what will be worse for your family. If he or you cannot bear to be apart from each other then no amount of salary is going to fix that. But if the debt is dramatically longer term than the debt, will that force you apart anyway??
Whatever you decide to do, it needs to be a strong and very joint decision - not one where you have to co-erce or be co-erced into making.
And what about your kids? Are you ok with them having a part-time father?
Do you think your relationship could survive being apart for the majority of the week? There's no point in getting the debt paid off if by doing so, you split up over it. Is there any chance your husband could find work in Ireland?
Remember this not only affects you & your husband, but your children too.
I would go for it, as I say, a lot of forces families live like this and we all adapt to it, it's your outlook that makes the difference!
Yes it was difficult sometimes, yes we missed him and he us, but we never took our time together for granted.
I say go for it, even just for a short time. Getting out of debt will be better for your family in the long run, living with your parents will give you adequate 'at home' support with two young children, and the time you spend with your husband will be so much more precious.
Try it- if he hates it he can try and look for something closer to home, but in the meantime would be really making a big dint in your debt repayment. Good luck!!
I think this is a bit harsh, we don't know the OP (and it is none of our business). And anyway, too late for that advice now!!!
I think this is a very hard one to judge and advise on - much harder than the normal ones!
My immediate thoughts that popped into my head are as follows:
When exactly does this job start? Will it mean that your husband is likely to miss the birth - how do you and he feel about this?
Are you going to be able to call on the support of your family while in Ireland? My sister's girls were both nightmares for sleeping - neither took many naps during the day but were up all through the night. My sister and her husband were able to take turns with naps / getting up and that helped her get through this. I see you are proposing moving back in with your parents - have you discussed this with them and how it will work for them and childcare etc!!!!
How long would this arrangement be for? A year goes really quickly but if it was longer - how would you both feel about this?
Is it definite he would be able to be back every weekend - try and found out what the reality is - if it was once a month would this still be ok?
I think I would say that you both need to have an honest, cards on the table conversation about how you would both feel about being apart and also about how you are going to pay off the debt and what the plans are for the future once the debt is cleared.
If your husband is going to be absolutely miserable being away from the babies or you are going to be the same away from him - maybe resenting him if you feel you are doing all the hard work with the kids then it probably isn't worth it.
However if you are both resigned to the seperation, it is for a fixed time period that you know you can deal with, and you will have clean slate and can build a new life for your family then maybe it is something you should do. With things like skype these days you can feel a lot closer and maybe you could go out with the kids for a week or so every once in a while as well to see him?
Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide and of course good luck for September!
Now I have to pay the bills :eek:
And feed my interiors addiction