soon to be a dad, much help needed!

sandstone7

Hi all at moneysaver...

I have come to ask for as much tips/advice as anyone has to offer, any experienced wisdom would be much appreciated.

I have found out today, that my girlfriend is pregnant...
so we have 9 months to set up shop. (we dont live together right now)

the situation is, i am 34 yr old male. have just graduated with a degree in social science, i live in brighton.

since graduating, work is thin, so i currently rent a 1 bed flat, where i work 17 hours a week in my job (which is pretty much min wage) and the rest of my rent is made up from housing benefit. there are no extra hours at work and i have been applying for about 20 jobs a week since graduating, and have not had 1 single reply its really bad out there

what benefits are available? im really panicking as of how to have us all under one roof and being able to afford to eat!!! sooner or later we are going to need a bedroom for the baby, and one for us?? its quite scary,. i know i should ring citizens advice but i thought i would ask this board as these forums are excellent.

tanith

Well really you have at best 8 months at worst less... firstly don't panic about space many many people have a baby in one room never mind a whole flat , I had 3 children in a one bed flat , not ideal I grant you but it happened and we survived, the kids had the bedroom and we slept on a sofa bed in the living room it can be done if necessary. Is not Brighton a pretty expensive place to live? maybe moving to a cheaper area would help , just a suggestion and you seem to be doing lots of applying maybe give your CV a make over might help , I'm sure there will be lots of advice from others.. but just remember that as long as a baby is loved , warm and fed it will do fine .....

relic

Entitledto.

Don't worry about money, with the benefits system to way it is you'll get plenty through WTC/CTC/HB/etc.

RAS

go to www.turn2us.org.uk . You need now, when she is on mat leave before the child is born and after the child is born, fo a start.

You do not need two rooms for the first year of the baby's life.

flutterby_lil

How old is your gf and does she work?

sandstone7

thanks for the calming words and info folks, much appreciated.
to answer flutterby - she is 26, and no she is not in work now, she is doing some courses in massage & therapy etc but no grants or funding are linked with them.

McKneff

bunny999 wrote: »

Never heard of contraception ?

!!!!!!, why, oh why do people do this.

If you cant help, please dont post, youre just making an utter fool of yourself.

Teahfc

bunny999 wrote: »

Never heard of contraception ?

Shame your parents did not after snide comments like that !

McKneff

Hello Sandstone7 and welcome to the boards

Congratulations to you both, its a wonderful new adventure and I can understand you being excited and panicking at the same time.

Look at the links that others have posted for you, ignore any nasty comments, there are usually from little nasties who literally have nothig better to do with their time.

Eight months is a long time to prepare but it will go so fast.
Hopefully you will find a job and a bigger place to accommodate the three of you. And of course your OH is training so hopefully she can make some money from that.

Good luck and let us know how yu get on please.

Scary, isnt it..........You'll be fine, promise. Millions of people have done it and managed.

I was only 18 when I had my first, now that really was scary, 1968, no benefits in those days, apart from tax thingys attached to OHs wages.

Annie

sandstone7

again , thanks for the kind words....!!!! its really lovely to hear your words, and yes, i am over the moon, and thats an understatement
as for the rogue poster, no offence taken, yes, of course contraception was used for a long time, this baby was born out of love thanks very much, its the only natural thing we have left, babies were born way way way before the queen had her head on bank notes, and i'll be dammned if the man made creation of money stops what nature designed us to do.... so put that in your pipe and smoke it

i have a job interview next week, how exciting..

McKneff

Let us know about the job won't you